Long last letter to dad...please comment-not mailed yet (page 4)

carla

Maybe the only way he would see it is to post in the newspaper. Sad, sad, sad. damn cult.

In an effort to help you attain that, may I suggest that, perhaps, writing the letter should enough for now. History shows your father most probably won't even accept your effort and your honest intentions, let alone open and read your letter. But that's not on you; that's on him. The loss is HIS... and his only... that is, unless you choose to make it yours also.

You can choose NOT to: you can simply grant him the pity that he deserves... and forgive him for his lack of love... as a result of his "blindness." We have no problem pitying those who are empirically blind, wincing even, when we see them walk into things, or cringing when we see them about to step in harms way. Most of us would even reach out and grab ahold to forestall some imminent danger, and/or kindly and tenderly guide them toward the right steps for a few seconds.

Doesn't your father deserve that? He is BLIND. He cannot SEE what you wish him to, and he cannot help it - there are just too many other "lights" shining at him, right now. Rather than shoving barbs in his eyes in an attempt to open them but which never helps, perhaps you can help him see by simply how you live YOUR life. SHOW him that "they" are wrong... rather than trying to beat him over the head with that truth.

I know, I know... you are a in great deal of pain. Trust me... I know. But Joseph was, too, when his own brothers sold him as a slave to others. As a result of their act, he ended up falsely accused and in prison. But in the end... they... had to come to HIM. Yet, he was not overly bitter when they did and so was able to show them pity and compassion.

Write your letters... but hold them for your own sake - they won't benefit him right now. Do not discard them - perhaps one day he will regain sight. Right NOW, however... all you need do is forgive him. Because (1) this will set YOU free... and (2) truly, he does NOT know what he is doing... or where he is going.

I know you will do whatever you ultimately decide you have/need to. But this is my $0.02. Again, may YOU... have peace.

Your servant and a slave of Christ,

SA

Gordy

Dawg,

If the letter comes back - send it again - if its returned -send it again.

Keep doing it untill you get your questions answered.

flipper

DAWG- I'm so sorry your Dad returns your letters. I know much of the pain you are going through as my daughters , an older brother and older sister don't have anything to do with me. You are a man of conviction, I admire that . I think if it was me , and I had been dissed , and my letters sent back by my father- I'd hand deliver it to him, and say, " Dad I love you , you need to listen to me. This is important information you might not be aware of. Because I care , I'd like to talk and settle things face to face , and get it out in the open. " That way you see your Dad's facial expressions, can gauge his emotions- and it makes it much more personal. Just my opinion. Good luck,Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Bring_the_Light

I was thinking maybe you should try removing all of the factual attacks on JW doctrine. Make it completely a personal appeal. They are trained to clam up if the doctrine is attacked, I recently made this mistake when i met up with a very old friend, I expressed some of my frustrations with the Social Control aspects of the BS, and BAM, she totally shut down, will not talk, will not answer emails, nothing. Up until that moment it was like good old times. This was very surprising because I've been away 10 years and i don't remember that level of nuts, just a lower level of the same nuts. I guess things seem different when you're younger.

FedEx etc is a great idea.

I was blessed in that when i left, it inspired my Dad to leave too. I feel for you.

worldtraveller

Dawg before you send the letter, I suggest you put it away for a few weeks and ponder this decision. If you feel it is necessary down the road, then send it. If not, then keep it longer. I found that putting things aside for awhile gives you an opportunity to think logically, not emotionally.

It does seem that your dad will just return it anyway. Perhaps send an envelope with a blank page and wait for a response. If the letter returns, no harm done. Time then to move on. I wish you well.

BabaYaga

Dawg... I tell you what.

You aren't going to like what I have to say, because you have balked at others that commented similarly, but... it is too harsh. The point being... IT WILL THROW HIM INTO THE DEFENSIVE and that is COMPLETELY anti-productive!!!

You WANT him to READ it. You WANT him to HEAR you. Do NOT throw him into his automated defense mode so quickly it makes a head spin.

My idea? Okay, you're REALLY not going to like this one... print THIS letter out... EXACTLY as it is... and BURN it. Create a little ceremony for yourself, whatever that means to you. A campfire with time alone under the stars... whatever. Concentrate on what you WANT to happen. Imagine you sitting there talking and laughing with your Dad. And watch the burning embers of the HARSH letter (what you FEEL like saying) float towards the heavens.

When you have sent THAT message into the universe... write another letter. We were there... we know that he thinks he is doing the right thing. He is wrong, deadly wrong. Write a letter full of love and open arms... not of hurt.

Love and strength and all the best to you.
Baba.

sweet pea

Dawg - so sorry for all your pain. This whole thing really stinks when we can't communicate with the ones we love. One of the other posters hit the nail on the head though - he is blind right now, he's not capable of understanding the bigger picture.

I think the postcard idea is the best. You could start it off by saying "Dad, this is the last time you will ever hear from me...(and then the loving bit)". Who knows what will happen next....

Sometimes when we withdraw our attention from someone completely, they come looking for it. Not likely, but why keep opening up yourself to more pain? Time to let go and for him to come to you, however long that takes.

Sam

SirNose586

What's your endgame with this? Are you trying to stop the shunning, or stick it to him?

If you mail the letter as is, he will continue to shun you, and you will lose him for all time.

If you want to ameliorate the conditions between you and your father, then you'll have to follow the other posters' suggestions and approach him with love.

Long last letter to dad...please comment-not mailed yet