If you could have your family back..... (Are JWs toxic to you?) (page 2)

Mrs Smith

Just remember that we were also Jws and toxic at one stage. I would love to have my family more involved with my kids but only if the left the borg.

I believe that any association with the witlesses is only going to lead to my ending up being physically dragged back. It is not worth taking that chance. Besides, they would not help me realize any of the things I missed out on because of my being one of them for too long.

They are absolutely too inflexible. They have zero tolerance for things like fornication (which is no worse than test driving a car). They have lousy viewpoints in materialism. They do not tolerate cross referencing things with independent sources. They are too picky with my music. They want me to read the Washtowel and Asleep! magazines instead of making friends (and beyond) with worldly people. They want me out in field circus all the time. And, they are going to be the ones associated with the Second Dark Ages! Who would want to associate with that?

They all belong as a group in the Ostracism Wasteland. The ones that leave the witlesses or wish to would be allowed out of that wasteland, but the hardliners can stay there and rot.

quietlyleaving

they bother me less and less as each day goes by and I feel more tolerant toward family members who want to stay in

reneeisorym

I would love to have them all if they would completely leave the JWs and decide it was a cult.

Sometimes I think shunning is a blessing. This way I don't have to deal with their toxins. A year after I left I would have never thought this. Now at a little over two years out, I am just fine without them and I don't think I could deal with them being around.

jamiebowers

After being out for a few years, I thought that being shunned was a blessing. There was no reason for argument with my mom about things that were important to me, ie: marriage outside of the jws, a college degree, community and political involvement, etc., because she refused to speak to me. In the 20 years that I've been out, I've spoken to my mom twice; both times were for medical information. The last time we talked a few years ago, she started crying and apologizing for things that happened during my childhood. When I responded in an empathetic way, she hurriedly ended the conversation. It must've seemed too much like a reconcilation to her.

Short of going back to the cult and giving up everything I've gained since being disfellowshipped, I would give almost anything to at least be able to talk to her. She is in her mid sixties, was on disablitiy and now back to work. I don't think any kind of retirement is in her future. I've heard through her wordly family that there have been some financial and health difficulties, none of which I can help her with, because she won't talk to me. She sounded so regretful and sad the last time we spoke. I have an irrational fear that there will be some kind of suicide pact within the organization, and I read boards like this everyday with an irrational hope that I will find some way to get her out.

This is a constant source of saddness for exjws. No, I don't find any jw toxic, but I do think their leadership is pure poison.

Finally-Free

The only family I had that were JWs were my mom and my ex. My mom has passed away and I'm now divorced. In retrospect I can see that the watchtower beliefs were the only thing I had in common with my ex, so there would be no reason for us to want each other back.

W

nelly136

the few times i've had contact with a jw relly it just reminds me why i left in the first place.

the jw rellys i havent had contact with for years i havent missed at all, and my children have long since adapted to having no extrended family.

if i met my rellies as strangers we would have absolutely nothing in common.

if any of them left i might feel obliged/duty to help them in any way i could just as i would anyone else. but i can't say that would lead to an automatic reactivation of blood ties. (but it would give us one thing in common)

If you could have your family back..... (Are JWs toxic to you?)