How do I get over my Family treating me Like an Outcast

moonpie

Hello, I've been disfellowshipped for almost six years and it's still hard not being able to communicate with them. I talk to my mom once a week, but my dad won't pick up the phone to talk to me. I have 3 brothers and 6 sisters. All of my brothers no longer go to the Hall anymore and one of my sisters is also disfellowshipped. The few times I do see any of my other sisters they look right through me as if I were glass. It's so hard because now that I'm out I feel free and I want to tell my family that they don't have to be in any religion to serve God. Just be a good person and treat others with respect and always thank God for his son's sacrifice. It's so frustrating sometimes. Am I a bad person for feeling this way?

Casper

Welcome Moonpie...

Am I a bad person for feeling this way?

No, you're not a bad person at all. You just want a normal relationship with your family, that is understandable. I am sorry you are dealing with this type of treatment.

Hope you stay awhile. You will find lots of support here, and many in the same situation you are...

Sincerely,

Cas

moonpie

Thank you. I plan on staying. I've been reading a lot of the posts and comments and most of them make sense to me. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

SPAZnik

you said: "Just be a good person and treat others with respect". i say: do that. ////// welcome to the forum

wings

The few times I do see any of my other sisters they look right through me as if I were glass.

I'm so sorry. I understand the feeling. Glad you are here.

Welcome.

yknot

I am so sorry Moonpie, but welcome to the board.

My ex-stepsister is DFd and it has taken 16 years of me badgering to get her father to talk to her (the rest of us know what really happen and know the Eldumbs are just that ..dumb). Other more extended members ignore her still but one person at a time is our motto.

So somethings take time. Keep posting, this site is the best free JW therapy available.

Make sure you stay involved with the sibs who are 'out'. Also sometimes it helps to change the way we view those loyal to the WTS.

I currently view my family still in the borg as potential exJWs who will need help when they realize the scam. I am not shunned but I always encouraged my sister to send photos and personal update letters to those who do shun. That way they know she has been waiting for them when they leave. Beyond this be happy, give love and receive the good vibes that comeback around because of your love.

BTW in case you haven't been reinforced: Whatever faults and stumblings you have had (and have now), God forgave (forgives) you the second you asked and he doesn't keep score!

blondie

So the ones that aren't going to the KH shun you too. Sort of hypocritical. I'm not df'd and my family shun me because I'm inactive. Actually, they shunned us when we were active and my hubbie was an elder.

Sorry about the pain. I've have made new friends and "family" and I realize that any true judgment comes from God who is much more forgiving than humans. Most jws forget that they will receive mercy from God in the way they show mercy to others.

((hugs))

Blondie

Eyes Open

Sorry to hear that moonpie, and welcome.

A thought which suddenly popped into my head was this: pretending to be interested again in order to get your family's guard down so that you can pose questions/points in a non-aggressive way with a view to getting them thinking.

Obviously this depends on your history and would have its own implications for you and your freedom. Just wanted to throw it up here.

Are you a bad person for having those feelings? I think you know the answer to that, no?

Tyrone van leyen

Hi Moonpie. What you need is affirmation from those that love you. This affirmation will only be granted once you bend into submission. Understand that it is you that are strong and they that are weak. This amounts to emotional blackmail. It is the corporations way of doing things. Unfortunately, brainwashing, strongarming and manipulation, are techniques that remove the more natural, relaxed, and fairmindedness, of individuals. It is difficult to replace family for affirmation, therfore you need insight and support. You came to the right place.

lisavegas420

Same here:

What a cute name, Welcome Moonpie

Hello, I've been disfellowshipped for almost six years (I've been df'd for 20+ yrs) and it's still hard not being able to communicate with them. I talk to my mom once a week, but my dad won't pick up the phone to talk to me.(I've talked to my parents less than a dozen over the years, the last time over three years ago I haven't seen them in 10yrs) I have 3 brothers and 6 sisters. (I have 1 sister and 2 brothers) All of my brothers no longer go to the Hall anymore and one of my sisters is also disfellowshipped. (only one will speak to me and only if I call him) The few times I do see any of my other sisters they look right through me as if I were glass. (My mom walked right past me and actually jerked away when I tryed to reach out to at the grocery store one time) It's so hard because now that I'm out I feel free and I want to tell my family that they don't have to be in any religion to serve God. Just be a good person and treat others with respect and always thank God for his son's sacrifice. It's so frustrating sometimes. Am I a bad person for feeling this way? (I tried to talk to my parents that way, they said it was apostate talk, and they didn't want to hear it.) But on a happier note, I have my, Husband, grown children and grandchildren, and I don't have to share them with any selfish JW's. I love my life and wouldn't trade any of the current people in my life for any family members I lost. Welcome to the board, I look forward to getting to know you. lisa

How do I get over my Family treating me Like an Outcast

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