I am nearly 30 and I was raised a JW. My dad was PO and my mom still is a reg. pioneer. I have had A LOT of hurtful things happen especially over the past year. I get the anger, BELIEVE ME, I GET THAT. I have made a resolve to not let the damage in myself, not get worse, by being angry and hateful. I personally believe that the WBTS have helped some people become better people. It has also hurt a great number too. My thing, is, how is being angry productive to being the change you want to see in the world? My goal is to take the good that is left and build on it.
the meetup
by sh4m3sh4m3 26 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Hope4Others
My goal is to take the good that is left and build on it.
I loved hearing this, you are making positive out of somethings that have been negative in your circumstances.
cheers!
hope4others
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Homerovah the Almighty
Well your right about the anger part life is too short to carry an inward bitterness for very long, I think a little bit is justified though and maybe helpful to move on to something
to an other direction with the intension of improving your life and possibly others that you surround yourself with.
Better your education might be a good approach to becoming the new you, just as an example.
There are alot of positive things to do in your life your quite young and still capable.
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sh4m3sh4m3
Thank you. That is what I needed to hear. I'm crying as I write this because I'm so lost. I don't know if what I'm doing is right. I have lost all of my friends *almost* and the few that I have left are probably soon to be leaving my life. I don't fit in with the world and I don't fit in at the meetings. My family, my little kids and my husband are ALL that I have in the world. This is the hardest thing. People shouldn't have to go through this. I feel so strongly one day about how to be or believe and the next day I'm doubting myself. I don't EVER want to claim to have all the answers. No one does or should. But I wish I just knew a little more. Or at least felt a little more certain. All day I read and research and pray and think and I'm so tired of it. It's draining. And I'm completely surrounded by witnesses. My landlord is an elder. Our neighbors are witnesses. My kid is in the same class with 3 of them. I see the sisters every morning when I drop my kid off at school. They try to be nice and make small talk, but it's so incredibly awkward. Yesterday I was changing my babies' diaper and I saw a car pull up outside our house and stop. I looked out the window and it was a SUV full of pioneers just gawking at my house. They drive by all the time because we live next door to a pioneer. I feel half the time like I should close the blinds and tiptoe around my house. And then other times I just get pissed and don't care. It's tough.
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mouthy
I feel guilty somehow for going. But I don't really regret going. Maybe it's just too much to soon.,
SH4 thanks for sharing that meeting. Guilt is a very distuctive force stop it. I understand how you felt, After I was kicked out I went to a meet up in Atlanta,1988 I was kicked out in 1987 I felt I didnt fit in either... Felt like a Judas..A lot of them still didnt believe in God, ( I still do) . But after a few years ......... I got my thinking cap on, I realised "HEY!!! I dont have to follow anyone else ,what ever they believe or however they act. I am ME!!!! So I can be friendly to all show the love I am required in my faith to believe.,let them do their thing too." I am very friendly NOW with some of those I met at that first meet -up -that I had thought at the time "They are nuts" ( guess it takes one to know one ) It is just that leaving a mind control cult. It is hard to retrieve our OWN mind & use it somewhat . Good luck ...No more guilt. ( I can pass out that info cos I cant get rid of the guilt I feel for making 10 people JWS ,yep I wish I could take my own advice
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sh4m3sh4m3
THX! I've developed a close friendship with a old classmate over the years, but while in the organization, kept my distance somewhat. Now, we are a lot closer. I have vented a bit to her, but I don't want to freak her out. This sort of stuff is bizarre enough for me; I'm not sure what she'd think if I broke down about it. And, since she is my only real friend now, I don't want to blow it. You know?
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babygirl75
I have made a resolve to not let the damage in myself, not get worse, by being angry and hateful. I personally believe that the WBTS have helped some people become better people. It has also hurt a great number too. My thing, is, how is being angry productive to being the change you want to see in the world? My goal is to take the good that is left and build on it
That's exactly the best course of action. Pick up the pieces and go on with YOUR life. Do all that will make you a better person and make YOU happy!
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Eyes Open
Hi sh4m3sh4m3,
I agree with the other posters. Give yourself time. Something which I came to realise is that even though the WTS is good at pervading your life through emotional control, they cannot ever take who you are away from you as long as you choose not to let them do so. It may not feel like that right now. Time will help. The important thing is not to be rushed by anybody. Respect yourself and choose to do things in your own time.
Do you have the support of your husband?
You mention that you're not sure what is the right thing to do. Can I ask what research you have done into the bible? You mention the UN fiasco, but I was wondering how much time you've spent comparing what the WTS teaches to what the bible was actually written for. If this is something you haven't done yet, I recommend it. I spent months doing it and the basis for the WTS teachings was completely blown away.
Can I recommend a book, which isn't actually too long, for you to read if you think the above would be useful?
Synopsis
More people read the Bible than any other book. Indeed, many try to live their lives according to its words. The question is, do they understand what they're reading? As Steven McKenzie shows in this provocative book, quite often the answer is, "No." McKenzie argues that to comprehend the Bible we must grasp the intentions of the biblical authors themselves--what sort of texts they thought they were writing and how they would have been understood by their intended audience. In short, we must recognize the genres to which these texts belong. McKenzie examines several genres that are typically misunderstood, offering careful readings of specific texts to show how the confusion arises, and how knowing the genre produces a correct reading. The book of Jonah, for example, offers many clues that it is meant as a humorous satire, not a straight-faced historical account of a man who was swallowed by a fish. Likewise, McKenzie explains that the very names "Adam" and "Eve" tell us that these are not historical characters, but figures who symbolize human origins ("Adam" means man, "Eve" is related to the word for life).Similarly, the authors of apocalyptic texts--including the Book of Revelation--were writing allegories of events that were happening in their own time.Not for a moment could they imagine that centuries afterwards, readers would be poring over their works for clues to the date of the Second Coming of Christ, or when and how the world would end. For anyone who takes reading the Bible seriously and who wants to get it right, this book will be both heartening and enlightening.
The book shows how genuine Christainity is nothing like fundamentalist Christianity, or the apocalyptic-cult style of religion (e.g. do what we say or you will die a terrible death not very long from now).
Keep being true to yourself, and you'll get there.
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Homerovah the Almighty
I don't fit in with the world and I don't fit in at the meetings.
Yes thats exactly the way most of us felt when fading out, kind of physiologically disjointed, the key to over come this insecurity is to develop a new character
and personality, one that is associated more with reality, truth and knowledge something the JWS are very good at repressing.
Take it slow take it day to day, you'll be fine, did you know that 50% of JWS that get involved with them eventually drop out so your not alone.
Another good thing to do is keep on reading and posting your own viewpoints on this forum, you'll see that it helps