Awakend at Gilead inspires me to speak frankly with my wife........

by oompa 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • oompa
    oompa

    Had a nice long talk with him yesterday....he sure seems to be on the fast track all of a sudden , but actually has shared doubts with his wife for years. But once he makes up his mind....man he really moves. So some of my elders know I think it bullshit, but I did not just come right out and say it.

    So I try to really let my wife know how isolated my life is now (I am a hermit but for JWD). Let her know my depression is not going away, and why I had to let the CO know two years ago I was going to have to move away and leave my family and friends. Life is kinda ok when it is just me and her, as long as we dont ever mention anything JW (which was the biggest thing in our lives). She is still not open to even the microscopic thought that it is not really the truth and Jehovah is not with them. But she has her answer for me...."You should go the (meds) doctor again, and pray more sincerely and more often, rely more on Jehovah." I would like to take 75K, buy an old 34 foot sailing yacht for 25k I found in key west, and just dissapear. I am a good sailor and have always wanted to exlplore the bahamas, carribean, and central america extensivley.....I could last a good while...........................................oompa

    as much as want to go load up at the abc store, im not....it helps nothing

  • wings
    wings
    I would like to take 75K, buy an old 34 foot sailing yacht for 25k I found in key west, and just dissapear. I am a good sailor and have always wanted to exlplore the bahamas, carribean, and central america extensivley

    Stay focused! You are suppose to be inspired to speak frankly with your wife.....I'm interested, what do you want to say?

    wings

  • oompa
    oompa

    nothing that matters, and hasn't been said here over and over over

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul

    oompa,

    Every day there are new people posting here who will not dig deeper than the current few days threads. In my opinion, for what it's worth, it matters to say it over and over again.

    Respectfully,
    AuldSoul

  • wings
    wings

    I agree with that thought. I am in the same position (different, but similar). I always read these topics, over and over again.

  • oompa
    oompa

    Sorry guys but I feel stuck in a very very deep rut ( a grave with both ends kicked out) and that includes JWD. I am not getting anywhere...not moving on....geeze just look at my # of posts here in less than I year....wtf is wrong with me? I have raised two great sons, and supported two wives (not at the same time) really really well. Maybe it is time for me to do something just for me.

    Is there really anything wrong with a separation that is part of an extended sabbatical? Does anyone know people that have just done a MAJOR change....like join Greenpeace or something and just checked out for awhile? My life as I knew it is pretty much over. If I arrange my affairs to not cause any financial problems for my family, is there anything really wrong with just leaving for awhile? I have savings and retirement pretty much set.

    My wife deserves a spiritual head, and sooner or later she or me will probably see something greener on the other side of the fence anyway. I told her I feel guilty wanting her or my parents or friends to ever feel the depths of betrayal I have felt from my "wake up" and yet I so hate being alone with these feelings, I try to influence them anyway. There is no "blue pill" to take, there is no going back and I told her so........oompa

  • Octarine Prince
    Octarine Prince

    Make movement towards that sailing goal. A dollar here, a penny there. I hope things improve. Don't let anything (substances, people etc.) rule your life. Truth in Recovery

  • oompa
    oompa
    Prince: Make movement towards that sailing goal. A dollar here, a penny there.

    Maybe you didn't catch this, but this would be a SOLO sail ( she doesnt like boating anyway), and I dont need anymore money. I could leave right now. I only have about a dozen possibly great years left in life........I have always been a very active person and already hate what aging does you and I am not even 50 yet............and reading glasses really suck.......oompa

  • NewYork44M
    NewYork44M

    Good luck to you Oompa. I feel for you living in that "no-mans-land." I have been there done that and bought the t-shirt. My journey took too long, but I am glad not only that it is over, but that I started.

    The reality is that it may take years to get from where you are to where you want to be. Your wife needs to decide if she wants to be your partner, or not. If not, the best thing you can do is get a boat and start sailing. The sooner the better.

  • oompa
    oompa
    NewYork44: Your wife needs to decide if she wants to be your partner, or not. If not, the best thing you can do is get a boat and start sailing. The sooner the better.

    She want to be my partner...even if I am not a JW...but she still has her same life and friend albeit without me by her side. But this is about as weird a marriage as a FLDS compound in TX, but I don't think she even notices..............oompa

    this really sucks all....wish I could grow some spherical things in the testicular region

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