OK let's see if I can get this out - any typos are because I'm laughing sooooooo hard!
How does someone die from checking a 9volt battery on their tongue? It's only 9volts?
BTW, I've done this one myself.
What kind of git doesn't unplug the lights before he waters the tree? Serves him right.
19 Australians have died in the last 3 years by eating Christmas decorations they believed were chocolate. Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling incidents.
What the hell?!?
And this one REALLY scares me: 101 Australians since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
I've got a baby coming, is this what I have to look forward too?
it's a tube wrapped in christmas paper, with a toy and a party hat inside. Two ppl pull it from opposite ends, and the winner is the one who gets the end with the toy and/or party hat inside.
I think a cracker is a small toy wrapped up (in Christmas paper, I think) like a tube, with paper sticking out at each end. You pull the cracker apart to make the toy pop out.
Am I right, you of other cultures?
Seize the day, and put the least possible trust in tomorrow. - Horace
I have learned to live each day as it comes and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow. - Dorothy Dix
Actually the Christmas cracker thing is believable - you have to pull the things really hard to get them to break and it would be easy for someone to go over backwards in their chair when it does!
"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot." - Groucho Marx
I think these statistics prove that the Watchtower is correct in telling [especially Australian] publishers that Christmas is NOT a holiday to be celebrated!
How many want to bet that the 9V batteries being tested were for insertion into plastic toys that later got stepped on when some bloody drunken fool was on his way to the toilet bowl to hurl??????!
Sheesh! Listen to Mother!
outnfree
In dealing with fear, the way out is in -- Sheldon Kopp
