Hi everyone I am a newbie and I need help (page 2)

mouthy

Welcome!!! But if I was you. I would keep quite about what you have found out. Otherwise they will shun you. I would continue in prayer to GOD! to guide you into what to do.... I was foolish( fools rush in where angels fail to tread) I just blurted out what I believed & I was kicked out of the WT Organization. which meant it was like waking up & EVERYONE I loved was dead. No one would speak to me. only because I didnt believe Jesus came invisably in 1914...So go slow continue to show LOVE,,,,

My advice since you asked for it

Mouthy

Switch

Hi Philosopher. There are so many (myself included) that are trying to find that "nice" way out without being DF'ed or shunned by family and friends. This forum is great cuz you can bounce your thoughts and ideas off people day or night. I've been biting my tongue when it comes to family cuz I want to have it all straight in my own mind before I try and explain the hundreds of reasons why the Witnesses can't be the true religion. Try to figure out for yourself what your most troubling issues are and then research it so it's clear to you before trying to share any thoughts with family. That's all I can say for now. Be sure to read everyone's experiences here. Some people have good success.

Open mind

Welcome to JWD, philosopher.

Excellent advice given so far.

How old are you?

Baptized?

Siblings?

BTW, make sure not to divulge personally identifying information here.

OM

Eyes Open

Hi philosopher, welcome to the forum.

As others have said, you need to appreciate you can't make anyone do anything. Your only responsibility is to yourself. BUT, if you are an active Witness in good standing with your family there are ways you may be able to help them.

If you display doubts in a direct way, and let on that you don't believe JW's are the true religion, they will be frightened of you and block out what you show/say to them. You may wish to approach things by asking questions, or requesting help to understand certain points/doctrines. You could then perhaps bring in points which make it difficult for you to understand. Make them think they are helping you. The process would have to be very gradual, so it would need your commitment for months and months, maybe longer.

Feel free to post for any specific advice.

drew sagan

I know exactly what you are going through. If I can stress to you one thing more than anything else it is this:

Calm down and take your time!

Many people face a crisis when they first learn it is not the truth. They think about family and friends and possible ways they can start showing these people what they have found.

Bad Idea

It is the culmination of your own personal experience that has brought you to this point. Your family members may be at that point, they may not be. There is a greater chance they are not at the point of opening up and so it can be very detrimental to talk with them at first. The tendency is to rush into the arena and take on the gladiator, so to speak.

It has been nearly four years since I started questioning the JWs. I continue to learn and understand more about what I went through even now. It took me almost a year to understand the basics of why the JWs are not the truth. I advise you to take your time, study the book and internet sites that are out there (reading Crisis of Conscience, In Search of CHristian Freedom, The Sign of the Last Days When?, and The Gentile Times Reconsidered just for starters). Spend more time on this site as well. Also, not to sound arrogant but I've written a number of long posts describing some of the problems I have observed in the Watchtower that I think touch on some points that are rarely looked upon. Look through my posts and you will find them.

Take your time and don't fall into the trap of thinking that you have to be the savior of your family. Strive to learn and comprehend first. I can give you more books that you can read if you are interested, just send me a pm.

jwfacts

how can I show someone with more than 30 years in the organisation, that it is all fake?

Welcome. The answer is that most likely you can not. Religious beliefs are very difficult to change. In all the hours you and your family preached you no doubt converted very few people to being JWs. It is almost as hard to convert a JW to a new belief set. What is most important is that you prove to yourself how you feel about it, and then move on without guilt.

A person born a JW is in a loose/loose situation. You cannot be honest with yourself and stay, you cannot leave and keep your family and friends. It is very sad, and will cause you great grief, but you have to be true to yourself in the end. Please stay in touch through this board for encouragement in the coming months.

outofthebox

I have more than 30 years in the JW, and found recently that is all fake. You are in the right track.

Alpaca

Hi Philosopher,

Welcome to JWD.

I concur with many of the other posters who recommend taking it easy on trying to confront your family head on with this.

Having said that, I will guarantee you that there is not an old timer Dub alive who does not have doubts in their heart of hearts. They may barely reveal the doubts but the doubts are there. I know this is true because when I was still in (bailed in 1997), once in a while in conversations with old timers who were elders, or special pioneer couples, or sisters who had been in the BORG for 40, 50, 60 years they would make comments lamenting the fact that they fully well expected to be in the new system by then. The sour taste of 1975 and the change in the "generation" change is taking its toll on the BORG's credibility.

Listen to the comments your family makes. If they make comments that express doubt, disappointment, or uncertainty about when the end will come or the authority of the BORG, take the time gently coax them to elaborate. You may be surprised at what you hear. On the other hand, it's true that when someone wraps their life around something that later proves to be an illusion, it can be devastating and can cause the person to go into denial mode, so they may never respond.

All the best and good luck at a very difficult road ahead.

Cheers,

Alex

LouBelle

Hi and welcome to JWD. The truth of it is that YOU CAN'T make them see. They have to be willing to see it for themselves and willing to put the time and effort into research.

peace

Fatfreek

One topic to avoid like the plague is doctrine interpretation. They're convinced the Faithful Slave is correct -- period.

If you can, somehow, plant two other seeds of thought. There are two subjects that Jehovah's Witnesses are extremely proud of -- their honesty and the lack of contradictions in their teaching.

The following two links go into detail about how Watchtower writings display the opposite of those qualities.

Dishonesty
Contradictions (flip-flops, teaching reversals, about faces, etc.)

Len Miller

Hi everyone I am a newbie and I need help

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