My daughter went through what you are going through 5 years ago. She had serious doubts but kept them to herself. She still lived at home and I know it was not easy for her since the rest of us were still JW's(me, her father and brother). Well, if you look at my bio and at some of my posts you will see that we are all out now too. In fact, we just celebrated my sons birthday 2 weeks ago for the first time. I look forward to the holidays too. I guess what Iam trying to say is you need to live your own life and not let anyone hold you back. Who knows maybe your parents will come around too.
Hi everyone I am a newbie and I need help
by philosopher 36 Replies latest jw friends
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yknot
Welcome and Congratulations on your first post!
What I am doing is the divide and conquer plan ......but very very very very slowly
I have found that all Witnesses have some doubt, issue,or curiosity.
Once you make them feel at ease about discussing their peeve, start giving them small pertinent facts that feed their peeve.
You have to get them thinking for themselves and looking for conformation of their feelings/ideas.
As you know everyone bobble heads and praises the changes in public, but in private things are often different.
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AgentSmith
Welcome to the board!
First: Take it easy, don't go in guns blazing...
Find the info, do the research. Make sure that you can defend what you believe. The oppertunities will present itself, and when it comes along you can, maybe, get the thin edge of the wedge in. A simple well researched argument can be be so much better than throwing a book at them.
And as Mouthy said, pray for guidance.
Hope it works out.
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Casper
Welcome....
You have gotten alot of good advice here, I hope you are able to take some to heart and find your way.
Look forward to hearing more from you,
Cas
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LovesDubs
Welcome sweetie! This is like a 12 step program only theres like...112 steps to it LOL! Sloooooow baby. You know how when people learn the "truth" as newbie JWs they go out and beat everybody over the head with it including and mostly their own families and end up alienating all their friends and family because of their ZEAL? Well the same is true on this end of it...you are learning its all bogus and you want so bad to get through to them that it is but to do so would mean the loss of your family and JW friends so. Chillax :)
Continue to read, continue to post, continue to strengthen your own convictions and understanding. Then you will be in a position to answer, calmly and concisely their questions to you as they feel comfortable to ask you. Lay very low. No confontations that would cause outbursts and adrenaline confessions :)
You will be fine...more and MORE people are leaving the JWs. God willing some day they will see if they just loosen up and allow people to choose to leave without losing their families, they would become more Godly and more Christian and less cultish.
LD
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Shawn10538
Welcome to the board! My three cents on this is, as some have already suggested on this thread, go slow. Hopefully soon you will realize that you are trapped in a religious cult and you can't escape without losing every friend and family member you have ever had. So, that being said, inform yourself. Find out for yourself exactly what a cult is according to cult experts. When you realize you are in a cult, you will recognize the extent of damage this group can do to your life. If you push the wrong buttons they will destroy you. Your own mother will disown you and will feel perfectly fine doing it, in fact they will feel righteous. Be very careful and back out very slowly. Try getting a job that keeps you away from one meeting every once in a while. Don't make the mistakes that I made. Don't challege them or be confrontational, they will interpret that as persecution.
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Copernic
When I discovered that we were in a lying way, I set up a treatise.
I sent it to my family. 226 pages of incontrovertibles evidences that it was not the truth. I spent 5 months and a lot of sleepless nights for....nothing.
It was sweep away like that.
5 harsh tone mails and an eternal shun.
My treatise helps more than 100 000 readers in a year now (www.viaveritas.fr), but not my family and my friends. I thought it was possible for me to save them according to our excellent relationship. I made a mistake. Don't do it.
You can't take your neigbor's pilgrim stick.
Cheers
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digderidoo
Hello and welcome.
In my opinion you can't change JW individuals thinking. They have been conditioned for many years to shut off when someone criticises the organisation, they label it apostate so are not willing to listen to reason, even more so if you tell them you found your info on the net.
I feel you need to concentrate on yourself first, then in time they may come around, but put yourself and your own sanity first. There is a long way to go and it can be hard to leave something you have had all or most of your life.
You will find lots of support here, so keep posting. On here we all have a shared experience and you can bet someone has been through what ever issues you are dealing with at the time.
You have a long journey ahead. Best of luck (we can say that now).
Paul
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changeling
Welcome!
You may want to read some of the "Best Of" section on this site. Just keep in mind that leaving the WT is a difficult and personal process. If someone is not ready and not willing to see "the forrest for the trees" then there is little you can do to convince them.
My advice would be to live your life in the best way possible. Get an education. Be a trully genuine and caring person. When others see how well you turn out, this in itself is the best "witness".
changeling :)
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Quirky1
Hello and Welcome!
You have received much advice on this post. Listen to Grandma Mouthy. You might want to keep this to yourself for awhile until you can afford to unleash it.
Quirky1