when it comes to family I am of the belief that one should step lightly. So I would recommend a low key to no key affair.
Gonna Be Authentic to My Witness Relatives - Send Pictures - Hell With It
by flipper 22 Replies latest jw friends
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lisavegas420
Several years ago, I worked for 6 months putting together a scrap book to send to my mom. It was beautiful. I took much time making sure each page and picture of myself, husband, children, grandchildren (some they had never met) was perfect. I made sure nothing was in the background of the pictures to bring them any grief. Nothing anti JW, ...just wonder family pictures of us doing fun family stuff together.
I..finally finished. I showed my daughter and she wanted it for herself. I promised the next one would be for her.
I mailed the scrapbook album off to my mom......and waited days, then months...then years. No thank you, no kiss my ass..nothing. I won't do that again.
My daughter wanted to call and ask her to send it back...I didn't.
lisa
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new light
Bravo, Flipper! It sounds like it is definitely the right choice for you, and it is good for your witness relatives, whether they know it or not. I will say, though, not to invest too much of yourself in their reaction. The main thing is that you are doing this as part of YOUR journey out, you are putting your best foot forward into unsure territory, and you are showing love for your relatives. Congratulations.
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flipper
Well, I sent off the pictures today to my older brother ( ex-Bethel elder), my older sister ( ex-gilead) , my mom and dad ( elder) , and 2 nephews, and one niece and her husband ! So, we will just see what happens. I won't react too much from a positive or negative response - just trying to show authentic ( non-cult controlled love ) to my family. If they like it good, if they don't , that's fine too.
HOPE 4 OTHERS & DAGNEY - You both asked about what the big deal is in sending the pictures ? Well, maybe you may not understand what happened in my situation which makes it a bit more interesting to see the outcome ! Some of my relatives ( my older ex-Bethel elder brother ) and my ( older ex-gilead sister) were very unnaccepting at first before Mrs. Flipper and I got married , thinking we had lived together, and they were very judgmental of me ; essentially telling me I was not welcome in their homes until I returned to Jehovah . Well, time went by and I fought successfully a DFing decision, and the society overturned the elders DFing me after it was appealed. So- My mom and Dad have accepted Mrs. Flipper and me, my brother somewhat, and haven't heard a thing from my sister. So _ I thought I'd just show them what real love is and see how they handle receiving pictures of me, my wife, and my fading adult son - and see if it makes them question themselves on shunning me.
So DAGNEY- You are right , at least I know I'm being kind and loving and that is what's important to me. If they choose not to respond - so be it, at least I did what I know is right.
TIRED of the HYPOCRISY- I will keep it low key and let the relatives respond as they want.
LISA VEGAS- It's too bad your mom didn't respond to you after making such a nice scrapbook of family pictures. At least you were a good, decent person and it makes you feel better about yourself by doing that. That's how I look at what I'm doing here as well.
NEW LIGHT- Thanks for the kind words. I won't put too much stock in my witness families reaction to getting the pictures - positive or negative. I agree the main thing is doing what I think is right and showing love to my relatives. They can respond how they want - won't affect me much. I'm pretty stable in my life - just testing the waters here. Thanks -
sspo
Go ahead Mr Flipper, send the pictures, you are doing nothing wrong and weird. The burden is on them to respond.
Since you are not DF or DA they should continue to talk to you and really try to encourage you with kindness and love in order to get you back in
"Jehovah's Organization".
That's what i would have done or treated those that fell away but sad to say the majority of witnesses rejects those that stop going to meetings.
My ex-wife stopped talking to her mother for not attending meetings anymore, it's been 14 years since she has picked up the phone to see whether she's still alive.
It's a cult that puts leaders before everyone else, just like the pharisees of 1st century that put the temple before responsibility of taking care of parents.
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Awakened at Gilead
I'm glad you're sending out the pics... It's good for them to see that you are not rejecting them, you are rejecting the cult. And family is family.
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Hope4Others
My mom and Dad have accepted Mrs. Flipper and me, my brother somewhat, and haven't heard a thing from my sister. So _ I thought I'd just show them what real love is and see how they handle receiving pictures of me, my wife, and my fading adult son - and see if it makes them question themselves on shunning me.
Then I say Go for it, At least your mom and dad are on board treating Mrs. Flipper good, I wouldn't even worry then about the rest
if they don't like it "Let them eat cake".
Good for you, I'm proud of ya!
hope4others
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flipper
SSPO- Thanks for your take. I agree the burden is on my family now to respond. It's interesting you mention your witness ex-wife not talking to her own mother for 14 years. My first ex-wife ( still a fanatic witness) hasn't talked to her witness step-mom in 20 years ! Bad blood. This witness cult really is like the Pharisees though in not taking care of family like they should.
AWAKENED at GILEAD- Yeah, thanks ! I am trying to just show them I care for them - just don't care for the witness cult.
HOPE 4 OTHERS- Thanks for your take sis ! My mom and dad are nice and it will just have to be up to the other family members to respond as they want. If my older brother, and sister, nieces and nephews respond , then great, if not I can handle it. The ball is in their court . I'm not going to lose any sleep over it -
chickpea
the second half of the "kill them with kindness" expression, according to my hub....."it'll drive them crazy"
what do you have to lose? they either respond civilly or grouse about the apostate taint you have inflicted on them.... either way, you are behaving decently toward all
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flipper
CHICKPEA- Yeah, that's the way I look at it too ! I mean, who can condemn me for being nice ? I guess they could - but it makes them look awfully unchristian, don't ya think ? LOL! Peace out, Mr. Flipper