by str8?so is spaghetti..until you heat it up 36 Replies latest jw experiences
Actually
Interestingly enough
Mum and Dad were very supportive when all of this happened. As far as they were concerned, I was a good, heterosexual, ministerial servant. Sometimes it is easier to see what you want to see.
Its only now, that I have left 'The Truth' that i have lost their support. When i stopped pretending it wasn't an issue, was when they had to turn their backs. Sad, but thats what the WTBTS does to families.
Your gonna be ok spaghetti! GL
Here's what the W.T. has learned in a hundred plus years of trial and error ...........that just as the
army does..... if they quickly jump on the almost trivial things, it keeps people far away from the much
bigger things . (uniform button undone, shoe lace untied ) If you are always kept on the edge of your
"comfort zone " you tend to obey much more readily ! (To ass/u/me makes an ass out of you (u)
and me !)
Caliber
I am just a bystander:) Trying to understand. I have met some effeminate seeming men who were quite straight, and very masculine men who were quite gay. Even if I have a quiet 'idea' in my head about what someone is sexually, I don't let it affect my feelings or interactions with them, unless of course, I have the hots for them:) In which case I am still disappointed if I know them to be gay. Totally irrational, since I am not cheating on my husband in any case:) My assumptions, right or wrong, would never lead me to hurt anyone, since I don't have it in me to be that way. I wouldn't treat them differently, because I treat people with respect in any case.
That is a question I would have asked gay friends, but sometimes, I'd rather feel silly to a bunch of people I don't have to have brunch with next week! And I really DON'T want to offend anyone. Or, actually, make them laugh at me:)
I am married to a man who making such an assumption would then despise the person -which is really sad, his favorite niece is gay and he is totally confused about how he feels, cause he loves her no matter what. Brianna was the first person who made him examine his attitude towards the gay population. When Kameka came out too(another niece)he has definitely dropped many of his harangues on the subject.I am thinking that acceptance of gays will happen much like acceptance of blacks. Once the intermarriage happens, and you know that black person is FAMILY, peoples attitudes change. My FIL held out on his racism till he actually allowed his daughter to introduce her four half grown children to him. That was his family, and his ugly attitudes changed QUICKLY as he fell for those wonderful kids. Now people are not so likely to hide their sexuality, so families can no longer pretend it is just those people down the street or that guy they work with. It isn't a rare disease to people anymore, but an everyday reality.It's family. I hope that will improve life for people generally-when people feel free to be who they are and parents don't feel an obligation to reject them because of it.
On another note-I can't imagine the double whammy of being a gay JW or ex JW who is now known as gay. Its bad enough that some people will shun you for the one thing, but you have a whole other bunch who will shun you for the other. Funny how people try to control each other with rejection and isolation. Ok. Not funny. It is ironic that people think they will make their lifestyle more attractive to you by being hateful to you about it!
Mum and Dad were very supportive when all of this happened. As far as they were concerned, I was a good, heterosexual, ministerial servant. Sometimes it is easier to see what you want to see.
Its only now, that I have left 'The Truth' that i have lost their support. When i stopped pretending it wasn't an issue, was when they had to turn their backs. Sad, but thats what the WTBTS does to families.
Welcome to the board, um, I wonder what you would like us to call you as your username is quite long (but clever)! Your story is only too familiar to so many of us - I'm not a gay man, or a man for that matter, but I can relate wholeheartedly to the psychological torture of being dragged into the back room for questioning, and the line of questioning being appalling! In the end it was a good thing for me to go through, as it helped me to wake up and realize this is not the Truth. Though I am sorry for the humiliation you endured, and the nightmares, I'm glad for you that you saw the truth of these men.
I highlighted your above quote because this is EXACTLY how my parents have been to me - even when I was disfellowshipped they were really supportive of me because I was attending meetings, studying my Watchtower, being a good little girl. But when, after being reinstated, I deliberately rejected their religion, simply walking away from it and saying "I am no longer one of you" they were then obligated to shun me! So sad what happens to families! This tearing apart of families is on the Watchtower Society's shoulders, like so much else.
PEACE,
Rachel
I understand what you are saying. They were attacking you for how you sounded, rather than noticing that you were really trying to please jehovah and you were playing by the rules. That's why it was painful: you had put all your strength and passion into serving god and it wasn't enough. Been there myself - over different issues - but the result is the same. Painful to be kicked when you are already down - but it got you right out of that fucking religion.
...oh ...my ...gods.
I am so, so sorry you had to sit through this. I guess... in some way... I'm sorry that any of us had to sit there and listen to what they really thought of us.
Peace be with you.
Love,
Baba.
