Wishing you the best on this new day of family fun.
Good luck!
Hope4others
Crisis Mode! Advice please!
by 5thGeneration 53 Replies latest jw friends
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primitivegenius
first off...... terry that was awesomely well done..... kudos
now for the nitty gritty. i tried to fade..... worked for a year or so.......... then it ends. good thing about that is it gives you some time to come to terms with what is REAL and TRUE.. and that the watchtower is neither.
it let me find another church home that IS both Real and TRUE. so when they say..... there is nothing else out there or where would you go.......... i can honestly say....... plenty of places, plenty of world wide relgious organizations who TRUELY are there to help people, regardless of whether they are members.
you are gonna hafta stand up sometime tho, and i truely belive that lieing will only hurt you. cause no matter what points you bring up....... your a lier so all your points are lies........ and thats simply not the case. fortunately if the only lies you told were what you mentioned here....... they are easily fixed........ oh..... i thought i met the po..... my mistake. done deal....... its a case of OOPS.
now i dont know where your at...... dont know what you feel...... but your gonna hafta stand up sometime, its inevitable. when you do get to that point........... once its out of the bag...... your life is gonna get so much easier and you will feel sooooo much better for it. thats a promise.
if you want to go the route of haveing questions that they wont answer, make it clear that when you belived all their bullsh** you were zealous and didnt miss a meeting.......... and would never let your children miss a meeting but now that you have seen through it............. untill your questions are answered there is no way you will set foot inside a place that you dont feel jehovahs presense in....... and that goes doublely for your children. cause your looking out for their best interests, because if your life was wasted in a false religion you damn sure wont waste theirs. alot of good in what terry said........ im not afraid to call it a cult...... my wife still is because that shuts down their hearing and they wont listen to you past that according to her. me personally if it fits all the critera....... it is what it is. shoe fits wear it kinda deal.
now my folks would talk to me every week...... we were close. dad asked the bad question...... i ignored it. he realized the less he knew the better..... btw he is PO super jw elder to so i feel ya. my sister on the other hand isnt so smart..... she is completely in their thrall. she got baptised because of those scary awake articles about demon possession and how if you werent baptised the demons could have power over you....... scared to death she RAN to get bapt at the next convention..... so she isnt smart enough to see through things. she asked and i told her she really didnt want to know........ she insisted she did........
now is where it is interesting......... they say you must always be ready to make a defense for the lord.......... i feel the same way..... so i defended god to them. if i pretended anything but what i felt......... that would be like i was ashamed of god........ and i am never ashamed of god or what he wants me to do. so i told them off......... and since then they have barely spoken to me. kinda like if you loan somone twenty bucks and you never see them again........ probably money well spent.
my son is almost a year and a half old..... my father will have no grandchildren except through me and he has spent a grand total of............. 3 hours with my son...... my mother and sister probably spent 6 or 8 hours with him. i even drove 12 hours to spend thanksgiving with my true "worldly family" and stopped to see the folks and they knew in advance i was gonna be in the area........ still dad couldnt be bothered. we were within 3 hours of him for over 10 days......... mom and sis came up and spent a couple hours with my son........... dad however didnt........ so i figure............ they made their choice and im FINE with that. they wont have the chance to see him any more. they will have to get up off their asses if they want to see him ever again cause im just going straight to my grandmothers house.
thats how i play them cards. im straight up, and they cant argue. if they dont talk to me... i got worldly relatives who do and who will finally talk to me honestly about how they felt about my family all these years. about how my parents changed for the worse after being indoctrinated into the cult. its an eye opener.
i honestly hope things go better with you than they did for me...... but im at peace, so no worries.
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Terry
Search your values.
Are you afraid?
Of what? Are you in the wrong? No.
These are False prophets and the scripture identifying the test of the False prophet tells us: DO NOT FEAR THEM.
Fear of DISAPPROVAL is at the core.
These people (your Dad included) were your Authority figures.
This is an EARNED position.
You must respect the fact they believe they are right.
However, THEY MUST RESPECT you as well. If they don't grant you basic respect for your conscience--they LOSE AUTHORITY.
You are now equals.
When it comes to what is true and what isn't LET THE CHIPS FALL where they may.
Be alert to the following.
If you are trying to do the right thing for yourself and your children you should be respected for that. RESPECT YOURSELF.
If you have to confront people who formerly earned Authority over you--let them be fair and respectful about the process--or else, they default in their authority. Hold them to a high standard.
Your crisis of conscience isn't about INTERPRETATION OF SCRIPTURES. Be aware of that! Your crises of conscience is about the dissonant reality that the GOVERNING BODY has lied, distorted and misrepresented their authority.
Stick to the NON-INTERPRETATION FACTS of the U.N. scandal, the Pedophile coverup and the False prophecy pronouncements in the name of Jehovah. Where does the date 607 B.C.E. come from? Out of their anal opening like all their doctrines and policies. But--you don't want to get in a pissing match over SCRIPTURES.
Since there is no____there____there,,,,,it is a losing proposition. They can "prove" whatever they like. It is a deflection. It is an ambush and diversion.
If these men are shepherds they will tenderly care for you. If they are enforcement agents for a cult--they will cut you short, pressure you and refuse to hear your arguments.
Stand up with authority which comes from knowledge of the facts. LIARS do what liars do: they distort and dodge and weave and guilt-trip.
They almost turned you into what they are: LIARS. You sacrificed REALITY for their approval!
When you were pretending with your Dad that you still believed and trusted this religion you had already stepped one foot in that pit.
What pit? Sacrificing reality for approval.
There is no greater integrity than insisting on keeping it real. You owe it to your self, your conscience and your children't future.
Fear mongering is their only weapon! Bullying with fear is the WEAK position.
Facts are on your side.
They don't stand a chance in this unless you lapse into courting their approval and tremble at their make-believe cartoon authority.
The little man behind the curtain is pulling the levers as fast as he can and the great fireballs and puffs of smoke look awe-inspiring.
But, now you know---THEY ARE CHEAP THEATRICS to fool people into sacrificing reality to wishful thinking.
Stand up to them. A bully can't bear it.
Once they see you are not afraid of THEM---their game is over.
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Homerovah the Almighty
Well spoken words by Terry
If you are trying to do the right thing for yourself and your children you should be respected for that. RESPECT YOURSELF.
Responsibility follows honesty and integrity, I think its time to pull your laces up 5th and show that your a responsible adult and a parent who wants to protect your own kids
from getting involved with a blatantly corrupt big business Publishing House .
Unfortunately the very bit of responsibility that your own father never took it upon himself to protect you from as a child
Yes I have one of those fathers too..............take care .
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bluesbreaker59
Just remember that you and your father are both GROWN MEN...
GROWN MEN...
- Get to make their own decisions
- Do what's best for their families
- Do what's best for themselves
- Don't have to answer to their parents
- Get to choose WHO, WHERE and HOW they want to be.
I had to confront my father, and told him I no longer wanted to be a JW, and never would be again. He was trying to get me to go back after getting DF'd, and I wanted no part of it. I love my life, I love my girlfriend, and I love my family, but at the end of the day, ITS MY LIFE. I have very supportive friends (all "worldly"), and some family that are not part of the cult, and some family that have left the cult.
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Hortensia
when I was dealing with this with my mother, my shrink said it's a mistake to explain. Just state your position, and no matter what the other person says, just keep restating your position. Every now and then acknowledge the other person's position (I hear what you are saying. Just the same, I'm never going back to the KH). The other person doesn't "deserve" an explanation. It's your life. I tried it on my mother - it was interesting to watch her run through her repertoire of manipulative techniques, and then finally just give up. I just kept saying, "there's no point in talking about it, mom. I'm not going back."
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5thGeneration
Lunch cancelled...
Fireworks now tonight!
Funny how the "Truth" keeps 40 year old men total children.
Thanks again for all of your advice!
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Homerovah the Almighty
We are proud of you 5th, honesty is always the best policy to carry with you wherever you go
When your children become adults some day they will be proud of you also !
All the best !
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Bring_the_Light
***CHANTING***
BLAZE OF GLORY!!......... BLAZE OF GLORY!! ....... BLAZE OF GLORY!!........ BLAZE OF GLORY!!!!!.........
Be cool, calm, confident, make eye contact, make no apologies, take no prisoners.
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bluesbreaker59
5th,
Take him into a private area of your home, a study, an office, library, basement, etc. Sit down like men, and talk, with NO WTBTS info.
If he tries to show up with another elder, tell the other elder to leave your house immediately. Frankly, with him cancelling lunch I smell an ambush attempt in the making.