will try and keep my story short lol i was brought up a JW since i was 2 (i am now 41) i had 2 elder brothers the eldest left the organisation when he was 15 joined the army at 17 and basically did his own thing. my other brother got baptised at 14 then disfellowshipped at 16 for smoking,he no longer wanted to be a JW. He married out the truth and had a little girl. My parents were still able to have contact because at that point the society hadnt changed its rules on having nothing to do with disfellowshipped family but when it did come out years later they then had to tell my bro,his wife and then 2 year old daughter they would no longer be having anything to do with them,at that time i was 14,it broke my heart,but i thought it has to be right my mum and dad and the society says so years went by my brother had a drink problem couldnt face not having contact so started attending meetings,after a year or so got reinstated,(i know it was all for the wrong reasons) He then fell away quietly but was secretly living the life as a person of the world (sorry for using that term I hate it)Inbetween this I was baptised at 16,went on to become a regular pioneer,married a witness boy at 19 had my first baby at 22 then went on to have 5 kids all together WOW I know,need I say more,the pressure of raising a family attending meetings,ministry,preperation,and being physically abused by my so called witness husband took its toll.My spirituality went to zero.My brother who had been baptised died at only 38,alot of it due to mental health problems affected by the societies expectations and my mum and dad finding out and it hurting them,I sincerely believe that played a large part in his death.I then turned to drink and drugs,I was 30.Then I fell pregnant and had a still birth 5months into my pregnancy,my beautiful baby boy Arran was born dead,oh how I greived.My marriage went from bad to worse and my husband eneded up having an affair with a sister in another congregation,18 years of marriage out of the window.He was disfellowshipped,but the sister wasnt oh how I hated the elders and that sister because of the way things were dealt with,she lied her whole way through it,her father was an elder as well.
Sorry this has turned out longer than I thought.Anyway I lived the life of a single mother fell away from the organisation,and eventually met a (WORLDLY) guy who is the most loving guy I have ever met,my best friend,lover and soulmate.I was disfellowshipped 4 months ago because we live with each other and plan to get married in September,unacceptable to the society hence my disfellowshipping.It has broke my mum and dads heart and Im so so sorry for this,I love them so much,but no longer want or believe in the JW beliefs. I still believe in God but dont know where Im bound as regards my faith,I really do want to have something. Apart from my mum and dad and the shunning arrangement Im so happy,the happiest I have ever been in years,and my 2 youngest ones are happy as well..My eldest daughter is 16 and planning on getting baptised in July which is tearing me apart,she is so like me,but is being brainwashed by a certain crowd of witnesses,need I say anymore...My eldest son who is 18 isnt in the Truth and feels the same way I do..
Anyway thanks for this forum and hope to hear from likeminded friends soon.
Thanks for reading.
love freespirit xxxx