Velvet: I do drink wine every evening. I don't get falling down drunk, just sleepy. I use it as a way to relax. I have recently become disabled and have pain whenever I stand or walk so that is my excuse right now to drink wine at night. I dont think its helping. I am getting sicker, and I think drinking is not good for my chronic disease. I can't seem to stop. I feel embarrassed about this and I do not like admitting it. Also I don't find it makes me happier, it just makes me sadder. WHY AM I DRINKING??? I think its a bad habit. I started drinking when I left the Borg many years ago to numb myself. Its become a very bad habit.
Finally got caught up with this thread thanks to Cognac's pm....It is a bad habit....I had it for years too while in the borg and a good two years after....I drank the hard stuff every night and usually to more that just a little relaxed...but it did help me sleep, but felt sluggish every morning....it steals your strength. Now I seem to save up for a big personal low....then escape for a day into the bottle....so stupid. I had gone ten weeks straight with no booze, but have now had one complete horrible day in each each of the last three weeks....just got wasted. Sure not good for the marriage or self esteem. But I still feel a lot better just not driking EVERY NIGHT.....so some progress.
Whatever you guys do...do NOT drink and drive!!!!!!!!!! God it is expensive even if you dont harm yourself or others. How weird to make it this far in life with no DWI, only to get busted............and it is costing a fortune, and has been unbelievably stressful. This could easily cause me problems and expenses for two years, and more if you count the insurance increases. Plus it is TOTALLY embarrising. Due to a great new law here, I hit the magic number for a mandatory ignition lock mechanism for a year....that means I need special equipment installed in my truck....it is monitored and expensive, and with a jeep and motorcycle, I doubt I will get it installed on all three vehicles, so they will get parked or sold.....As much as the whole experience sucks, I am trying to turn it into a positive thing....making me more aware of what is obviously a bigger problem than I wanted to admit..........oomps........