The problems with my JW family

by Ima Apostate 23 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Ima Apostate
    Ima Apostate

    This may be a rare thing on this board, don't know, because this is my first post, but I was raised JW and officially 'checked out', in my own mind, at 14 or so, because it just didn't make sense that God would destroy so many good people who are wholeheartedly trying their best to please him and worship him in truth. I actually did not pray or give God a passing thought for 12 years or so because the God I had been raised to know was no one I wanted to worship. But here in the past year something brought me around to him. I think it may have been reading Anne Rice's 'Christ the Lord' (great book, by the way), But anyway, I ended up rediscovering faith and was actually baptized in a mainstream Christian church last November.

    At first, my JW dad was happy I was reinterested in religion. But then, he wanted to study and debate on certain bible topics. He did this under the guise of 'being open to new ideas'. Well, it went nowhere fast. As many of you probably know, they have an answer for every bible question. And they don't think much as to whether or not they make sense, just that they have an answer is enough for them

    Well we had to end those debates, because they were pointless. Then I find out my dad is telling my 9 year old daughter than our religion is run by the devil, and she starts having nightmares. I called him and kindly asked him to please not teach my daughter such things. PLEASE respect me as a parent. He says as long as he is alive he will tell his grandaughter the truth of the bible as he sees it. Then he brings up some bullshit from 10 years before for NO particular reason.

    The bullshit was that when I was 16, I stayed the night at one of my "worldly" friends houses. This is something I've done several times before over the years, although this may have been the first time I'd stayed with this girl. Anyway, she had a sneaky pedophile stepfather that I didn't know about, and he raped me. I told and he was arrested. After getting home from the hospital the next day, my dad tells me that this never would have happened if I'd had Jehovah's protection, but it was because I was hanging out with worldly people that this happened.

    Well I went nuts and said I was moving out, going to live with my aunt, and he would never, ever talk to me about Jehovah again or make me go to a meeting. I stayed with my aunt for just over a month, when my mom called and begged me to come home. She said they would not make me go to meetings anymore, she just missed me terribly and hated my dad for what he had done. So I came home and we didn't talk about what happened after that.

    So he brings this up when I am telling him not to talk to my daughter and tell her our religion is run by the devil. He says, "It's just as I told you back when you were raped - I still think that wouldn't have happened if you had been close to God".

    Well I called him every name in the book, I'm afraid. I can't believe he said this again. I think he did it just to hurt me.

    I am so glad every day that I am out of that stupid, distorted religion. I feel so bad for JWs because they think they are really doing the right thing. They don't even know how brainwashed they are and how wrong they are. I am afraid for all my relatives who are JW because they are not giving Jesus the proper honor he deserves.

    So anyway, that's my story. There's a lot more than went on in those 14 years or so, but I could write a book about all the dysfunctional things I've witnessed being associated with this religion.

    And yes, I'm proud to be an apostate. Basically, I renounce my previous beliefs. And I'm glad.

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    Welcome Ima to JWD... Sorry about your terrible experience!

    And Ima Happy apostate too...

    A@G

  • ninja
    ninja

    kick him in the balls mate

  • DJK
    DJK

    Welcome to JWD

    I think your dad is bad association for young children.

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others

    I'm sorry that your father is not respecting your wishes, perhaps you may think about limiting

    visitation to him and only if you are there also. He may back off then.

    Its sad that parents bring up past events and especially with "What ifs"

    What if's do not change the facts of your pain of what happened!

    cheers

    hope4others

  • Ima Apostate
    Ima Apostate

    Thanks for the welcome... Please don't think I typed this story just to make people feel sorry for me. It's just the preeminent memory that stands out in my mind that speaks to how screwed up some JWs can become.

    I have two daughters. Even if they were tramps, drank to excess, and partied with a bad crowd, if they got raped by some freak, I would NEVER, EVER tell them I thought it was their fault. Even if I thought so. I'd let them come to their own conclusions about their actions.

    I'm so glad to be on this board.

  • Ima Apostate
    Ima Apostate

    I thought heavily about keeping my kids from their grandpa. But that doesn't seem fair. So I told my daughter if Papa starts preaching, say, "I'm not interested". And if he persists, tell your Nanny that Papa won't stop talking about Jehovah, and she'll make him stop!!!

  • Wordly Andre
    Wordly Andre

    Ima, did you ever get baptized with the JW's? My story is kind of like yours, I stopped attending at 14, moved out when I was 17, I didn't get baptized. Just before my dad passed away I saw him in the hospital his last words to me went something like this "I will never forgive you for turning your back on jehovah, you've been a dissappointment to me and I can never forgive you", Now I still have a lot of my family mom, stepdad, sisters and brothers, but I don't have children, however wife and I are going to try this year, I wonder what my JW family will do to try and change my child, not that I will ever let them but I know they will try. I also just like you turned back to religion, I joined the Catholic church about 6 years ago, there is nothing wrong with finding another religion even though what we went through was tough. Good luck and welcome

  • undercover
    undercover

    Welcome to the board...

    You may find that your experience will stirke a chord with many posters here who have gone through some terrible ordeals with family members who are so brainwashed by the Society.

    This board ends up being a support group for all that have issues from the JW religion and all that it encompasses. I hope you find some useful information here as well as the support.

  • Ima Apostate
    Ima Apostate

    Thankfully, I was never baptized. Man, did they start hounding me when I was about 12! I was so into it back then. I always paid attention at the meetings, went out in service, preached to my friends... Everytime there was a thunderstorm, I thought it was Armageddon.

    But no, never was baptized, and I couldn't be happier. My JW family seem to have much less of a problem with me because I was never disfellowshipped.

    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It is amazing how they try to emotionally beat you back into submission. I am so glad you too have found faith after such a terrible experience.

    Oh yeah, and this is the first year I skipped the Memorial. YAY!!! Never going again. I prefer to drink the wine :-)

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