The battle rages on, I sent this letter to try to give support...What do you think?
OK, I'm done with the _____thing...but I took the option to participate in going to the KH with you. I making an effort, but at times you turn away from my questions and you'd never do that to a "book study". I know I only do the Public Talk, but it's an effort I made hoping to learn more about you spiritually.There's a difference between one's spirituality and one's religion...Therefore, I made a mistake in how I participated in the meetings...I approached it from a spritual perspective, which to me means that God's word is all anyone ever needs. If it does not come from the Bible, then it cannot be at peace with my conciense and beliefs. I believe Jesus died for my sins, God is omnipresent, gave me His message, free will and maybe tomorrow. Beyond that, I nor anyone else on earth can promise me anything. Period. Back to my mistake...In the very beginning of your return to the truth, I was opposed, but silent, because of JW stereotypes I had developed over the years, there I said it. But I also realized the main reason you went back to what was perfectly natural and right for you, was because I failed as the leader when we were going to church. Not that I think going baptist would have worked for us either. Strangely, over time and not wanting to go to church alone and without family, I withdrew from religion alltogether! Tthink about it, I barely touched a Bible for over a decade? Wow! Though I withdrew from religion, I still prayed to my Father and kept my spiritual closeness through His grace and mercy . He has sustained and kept me safe for nearly half a century, kept me faithful in our marriage and I've tried to live in a christian light. Though I'm not part of a religion, I am a very spritual person. The time I've recently spent reading the Bible still feels very familiar, like "home". When I'm reading certain verses, I actually have a total recall of the first time I read it, and that feels good to me spritually. I also spend time studying your publications and though I do see some truths, I know I am capable of finding them independently and soley through my Bible. Would you agree I spent a lot of time learning about what your religion teaches? I know you claim I have "motives" and sometimes I do, but it's also because I want to know you better spritually. Surely you've realized you're more than just a JW? You have free will, you're someone who has thier own ideas, right? You should never be afraid of your ideas. Without fear, your good ideas will thrive and bad ideas will die. Fear of thinking on your own, discussing issues, or questioning authority is the worst kind of slavery, and leads to slavery of all sorts. Free will means we choose...Choose to believe what we will. These will almost never be the same, but we are not so far apart that we can't find and share our own spirituality. Like Mo always says "We are closer than you think." You have to understand that my focus started with the organization because I've seen the falsehoods of catholicism, protestants and even the muslims, so I looked at it's history very carefully. I've spent time at your KH, and I do enjoy the Public Talk, the Friends are really nice and I like them. I trully mean that. The problem is that as a self proclaimed "organization" the wt history shows that prophecies were made by the organization, and those prophecies were not fullfilled. I had a problem there because God's law speaks on prophets very clearly in Deuteronomy 18 (click link) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=deut%2018:18-24;&version=9 ; If those verses are true, and the organization did make an unfullfilled prophesy...what would Jesus do? Would you do likewise? I know you tell me to back off and that you've got it, and I'm really OK with you as a Witness...but just be very careful making important decisions based on what the WTS tells you. Take everything with a grain of salt and don't be afraid to question anything - use the Internet, all information is not critical of the Witnesses! I've found JW-friendly sites, I'd love to share with you, they've helped me understand that there are JW's and people like me, who ask questions. The WT discourages any research outside of what the WTS provides, but these people have free will, and they use it! They are still JW's and believe a lot of what traditional JW's believe. I gave you the CD of future Watchtowers through the end of August for a reason. Think about it. Why publish a "private" edition of the Watchtower for Witnesses only? What is the main focus of the collective theme of this study guide? Why are they consolidating the meetings? Do you ever ask a question about a doctrine to yourself that you don't dare repeat to a friend or ask an elder? Or even me? It really is OK to ask... I love you, I feel your spirituality and it is beautiful...I've seen you make wonderful independent strides...I want to see you take it to a higher level, a spiritual level. I want to bring about a more positive connection for us, so you have to start to let me into your religion without fear. I can't turn you away from it, nor would I even if I could. I just want "US"... I love you