Are You a Closet Apostate Weenie? (page 2)

stillajwexelder

You count 10 hours per month but havn't even mentioned your beliefs to a non-dub in years. YES

You underline your study articles at random and write fake notes in the margins. YES

You keep your eyes open during prayer and giggle. YES

When everyone else says "Amen" at the end of a prayer, you whisper "what bullshit." YES

You have a copy of Crisis of Conscience in a box buried in your back yard. YES

You think "Thriller" was the great music video ever made. Not quite but damn good

You only volunteer for work at assemblies that keep you out of your seat during the talks. YES

You put all your porn video in Watchtower video jackets. YES

Lady Zombie

You count 10 hours per month but havn't even mentioned your beliefs to a non-dub in years. ~Yes~

You underline your study articles at random and write fake notes in the margins. ~Doesn't everyone?~

You smoke joints to get through meetings, field service and assemblies. ~I do shots~

You stuff Monopoly money in the contribution box. ~No, but that's where I get rid of pennies~

You keep your eyes open during prayer and giggle. ~I keep them open and roll 'em around~

When everyone else says "Amen" at the end of a prayer, you whisper "what bullshit." ~Amongst other things~

You have a copy of Crisis of Conscience in a box buried in your back yard. ~Naw. I keep it in my underwear drawer. If it's ever found, I can then point my finger and ask "WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER?!?!?!?"

You think "Thriller" was the great music video ever made. ~Don't know about the greatest, but I watched it about 1,000 times and learned the dance steps. Vincent Price's rap was definitely awesomeness!~

You read comic books in the Kingdom Hall bathroom during meetings. When questioned about your long time spent in the bathroom, you whisper "I'm constipated. I've been constipated my whole life." ~I text my "worldly friends" whilst sitting on the toilet~

You cannot sing "From House to House" without throwing up, so you don't. ~I can barely sing any of them without retching.~

You never missed drawing a moustache and glasses on the picture of the featured dub in the Watchtower "Life Story" articles. Never. ~Devil horns~

If a teenager, you are obsessed with drawing pictures of your Kingdom Hall being blown up by an atom bomb. You also draw gory pictures of your elders and CO being dismembered with a chain saw. ~How'd you know?!~~

You hide you cigarettes in your socks. ~Other places~

You despise the attention the pretty, single, faithful pioneer sister is always getting, so you put a handful of condoms in her purse and whisper to an elder that you thought you saw a pack of cigarettes in there. ~Never have, but what fun!~

BONEZZ

Oh terrific. Now that my "weeniness" has been exposed I suppose my buns are next.

-BUNEZZ uhh i mean BONEZZ

leftbelow

Thanks I needed that Very funny

Eyes Open

Funny stuff. :)

You stuff Monopoly money in the contribution box. ~No, but that's where I get rid of pennies~

The elderly brother who handled the money used to complain about all the coppers he had to count. One brother apparently put some in just to annoy him.

It's a shame, but this elderly brother (who'd also pioneered for ages) later got disfellowshipped and then died without his "brothers and sisters" being there for him.

wings

You might be a closet apostate weenie IF....

Too funny! Good job Farkel.

wings (only part weenie)

WTWizard

I am not a closet apostate. I am a regular apostate--that hasn't even been inside a Kingdumb Hell since 2005, and doesn't ever want to see the inside of another Kingdumb Hell or set foot out in field circus again.

dissed

You are a closet apostate weenie when.....

You call the KH with a bomb scare while the CO is visiting and giving his Sunday talk.

You walk into the sisters bathroom and then swear it was an accident.

You pass gas in the car while out in service and blame it on the elderly sister.

You conviently forget your wallet when treating the pioneers for dinner making them pay when they are all broke.

Your favorite web site is JWN

You yell 'you lie!' at the DC when the GB member is speaking.

You use the WT for tp paper at the KH and don't flush the toilet so all can see.

You call the PO on a weekly basis threatening to turn him in for adultery if he doesn't send you money to a secret mail box. (which he does faithlyfully)

And finally.....

You think the four gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Farkel

AdaMakawee

never mind, can't figure out how to enter HTML.

carry on

HintOfLime

Fun, but I'm all the way out. Is there a "how apostate are you" quiz? I'd like to know my score on that one..

- Lime

Are You a Closet Apostate Weenie?

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