The complete lack of love in the congregations.
What were the things that troubled you as a JW?
by Mickey mouse 23 Replies latest jw friends
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Amy10606
My hubby couldn't have a well kept, closely trimmed beard that covered his acne scars. He breaks out in big red blotches when he shaves too close, but he uses an electric trimmer. I kid you not, when I asked an elder why beards were considered bad but awsome 70's mustaches are okay he said, and I quote exactly "well, you know how people with beards are." ha ha ha ha ha! I couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud! Right before we stopped going for good, we went to a sunday meeting, the first in months, and instead of hellos and and nice to see yous, my hubby got "did you loose your razor?" about 6 times, and several other shameless remarks! I love it.
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sweet pea
Cedar Point Ohio - the way the society applied scripture to every seemingly INSIGNIFICANT thing that happened in their history.
The way the disfellowshipped were treated.
Birthdays - the reasoning behind not celebrating just seemed so lame. -
lilyflor
why should I tell a strange man my "sin" and exactly how was he going to forgive/absolve me. sounded to much like confession
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Spectre
I started seeing that JW's were not for everyone. If it was gods divine plan for humanity, why is there only 6 million members? Are the other 6 billion people on the planet just plain stupid?(yes I know a lot of them are, but thats beside the point) Is the question of universal sovereignty really resolved with that percentage?
And I was getting soooooooo bored at the meetings. Does my eternal salvation really depend on me trying to be enthused while being so bored? The guilt was really getting to me as well. I felt mass amounts of guilt for not being able to completely go all obsessive compulsive about it like they want you to.
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zagor
The thing that troubled me the most was that no matter how hard I tried I was never good enough, and to rub it in, they kept reminding me just how bad I was.
Somehow I always felt I was never really part of the whole thing but it took years to crystalize what was boiling inside of me all along. Finally there was this heavenly voice that said 'f#$k this'
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parakeet
1. The fake love whenever a newcomer showed up at the KH
2. Being publicly humiliated for dating a nonJW.
3. Being told zoo lions ate straw and thrived during WWII meat shortage, yet not explaining why zookeepers went back to feeding them meat.
4. Large dogs in field service.
5. Field service.
6. Sisters praying with Kleenex on their heads.
7. Sisters.
8. Brothers.
9. 5 hours' worth of meetings every week for 14 years. Time that should have been spent being a kid.
10. Being told a formerly friendly brother was condemned to eternal death for growing a beard.
11. The boredom of hearing and reading the same crap year after year.
12. Being told demons were everywhere, but I never saw one. Still waiting.
13. Being told for 14 years that Armageddon could happen any time now. (It's been 30 years now.) Still waiting.
14. Gettting dirty looks from elders because my dress was one inch shorter than was "modest."
15. Doors slammed in my face.
16. No Christmas or birthdays parties for 14 years.
17. Classmates "sieg heiling" me or calling me a commie for not saluting the flag.
18. Irritated teachers when I explained I could not 1-hold office in a school club; 2-help decorate school for holidays; 3-sing the national anthem; 4-etc.
19. 10-minute concluding prayer after a meeting went 1/2 hour overtime. This happened routinely.
20. Constant sniping between JW mom and nonJW dad.
21. The most vicious, gossiping, back-stabber of a sister in our KH announcing she was "of the heavenly class."
22. The Kingdom "songs." Only someone with a tin ear could love them.
23. Never being "good" enough.
24. Knowing my parents would let me die before allowing a blood transfusion.
25. The open-air conventions. The heat, my God, the heat!
Should I stop now? I could go on typing for another hour or two. -
Quentin
Nothing really...myself, and others, usually avoided, or ignored the petty rules....wtbts has always been a high control group, yet in my day it seems there was more freedom. Then too, I feel that the average jw of 30-40 years ago had more knowledge of and could explain wt teaching better..they could preach 607, or 1914, or just about anything wt, in their sleep...today they appear to be dumbed down.
In the end thing that nailed me was a lack of love and respect shown to non-jw's, even though the non-j was regular in meeting attedence and fs.
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WTWizard
All the obstacles that were put up against courtship. First, the person you are going to court has to be another witless. Mind you, not a newly baptized one. They had to be in the cancer for a time (which was indeterminate, so they could pull them out from under your feet by stalling on you while they go for someone else).
Then, there are so many obstacles from meeting anyone at the a$$emblies. Congregations were small enough to cut into the chances of anyone suitable being in the same congregation, and if you are visiting too often, Brother Hounder is going to have a talk with you. At the a$$emblies, they have been known to bust would-have-been couples up by barging at the worst possible time with some trivial question or an assignment that they want done now, that could have waited or was a total waste of time. Seating by congregations is becoming more common--we will be hearing more about that in upcoming weeks.
Once you make the decision, the hounders look for any specious reason to bust it up. Even if they cannot find any or make any, there is still all the rules toward courtship. There has to be chaperones at all times, preventing the couple from really getting to know each other before committing to each other. Many crappy marriages are the result (usually, the husband abuses his headship). All the while, they will do all they can to bust it up.
And all so the "brothers(??)" can join that fxxxing Value Destroyer Training School!
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Quentin
That's what I'm talking about WTW...we called someone up, made a date, picked them up, went to the movies, out to eat and so on...you and her, sometimes double, or triple dates...more often than not just the two of ya...
Lock down...control of evey fabric of your life...amazes me there are any jw's left...