Friend might be shunning me...

by White Dove 13 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  White Dove

  I don't know what to make of this. My friend from the hall asked me for an invitation to my graduation. I e-mailed her a note that she is most welcomed and doesn't need a ticket to get in. I didn't buy any announcements or invitations. I e-mailed everyone who was invited to that and the simple party at our favorite watering hole.

  She didn't answer the e-mail nor did she show up. No contact since. I've e-mailed her three times afterward asking if she is OK. A couple of days between e-mails elapsed. I'm still waiting for a reply. She knew when it was so I do expect she is in town.

  I haven't been to the hall since '05 so I'm wondering if any announcement has been made about me. I don't try to hide what I do that would get me df'd but I've never been caught. Nothing. I don't know what to make of it.

  Any ideas?
• 

  sweet pea

  Try the old fashioned way of communication - the phone! :-)
• 

  Gopher

  Perhaps your friend mentioned to someone in her hall that she was going to your graduation, and the friend raised a question about whether you were 'good association'. Maybe that scared her off.

  Just a guess.

  You needn't be DF'd to be marked or viewed as an unfit associate. That's good old conditional JW friendship for you.
• 

  journey-on

  My first thought was maybe she thought she wasn't considered "good enough" for a real engraved invitation. Did you tell her

  you hadn't ordered invitations and were inviting everyone by email?
• 

  LovesDubs

  Do you have a mutual friend who can try to contact her? There might be a reason for this but if she is ignoring you in particular maybe a third party can find out what the deal is.

  My JW sister in law did that when my eldest nonJW son graduated last year. She wanted to go to the party. Even tho I am DAd she is usually civil to me in large groups and this was not MY party nor a HOLIDAY party so she said she would go. But then she disappeared and didnt go to the party. Turns out she was shunning her EXJW MOTHER who was going to the party and didnt have the balls to just say so and so she took her family and "escaped" three hours north to Orlando to avoid ANY contact with her mother and blew off my sons party for her "righteous" act. :(
• 

  White Dove

  I am totally Deaf and don't bother using the phone. We communicated just fine over e-mail. People who know me know I use e-mail instead of the phone.

  I'm also a single mom of 3 that can't afford embossed invitations. She informed me in person to come to her son's graduation. We went. I invited her in person and over e-mail to come. She was thrilled and accepted. She didn't show.
• 

  White Dove

  Love Dubs,

  She's not like that. She is the strangest JW I've ever met. Very liberal and kind to everyone. She's a pioneer, too, and works full time. It's really strange.
• 

  chickpea

  there could be a variety of circumstantial configurations that led to your friend being out of touch for the time being ( congrats on your graduation, tho )

  the clincher will be if you see this individual and are ignored point blank.... until then, and i hope it isnt going to happen that way, just hold a good thought and let her know you have been thinking of her
• 

  Thechickennest

  Hi:

  My wife and I have observed over the past few years that JW's get completely discombobeled when it comes to social events involving folks that have reached a milestone as you have in your life outside of the organization. Maybe this is not the case with your friend as she sounds like a nice person. Give it some time. She may come around sooner than you think.
• 

  White Dove

  Another point to mention is that her husband is an elder and the service overseer. He didn't seem controlling when I met him, kind of disinterested in her, actually. He's an abandoning husband to her so she's on her own much of the time in activities outside the congregation.

  I don't want to wreck my fade, so I'm thinking of just letting it go. I don't want to show up at her house to check on her and make the JW's interested in me, again. But I do care about her. Hmmm...