I need someone to talk to..

littleblueuk

Hello Everyone,

I am really feeling depressed. My relationship with my JW mother is deteriorating rapidly. I can't even look at her sometimes. Yesterday at the gym I just waved and left.

I was raised in the "awful truth" and she will insist she did the best thing for us. I imagine she thought so.

My older sister who has been out for ages now is spouting off that she wants to study again. I know it's a load of BS because she won't change her lifestyle, but I still cautioned her about joining again.

My mother phoned me up the other day and asked me to PROMISE I wouldn't talk "negatively" about the the truth, to let my sister make her own mind up. I agree she should, but I won't stand by and watch a family member that I love get caught up in the JW mess. God knows what she's telling my sister. I my mother that I cannot accept a religion that puts a death sentence on anyone that's not one of them. Of course, she went ballistic, saying that only God can judge, etc., and if you lead your life morally according to the Bible, you should be okay. Then I said, well, then you don't have to be a JW or any religion for that matter as long as you live your life morally by the Bible? Of course she said no, you have to be a JW. My head hurts.

I have a cruise booked with my mother and sister in June. I paid for it already but I don't want to go. I really need your input on this. I feel like crying all the time and have even thought about just not being around anymore. Obviously, my mother can't wait for me to die in Armegeddon and I may lose my sister, the only relative I really connect to. I hate the way this has divided everyone.

I am so depressed.

hubert

Littleblue,

Maybe the cruise will give you a chance to talk to your sister.

You can gently point out negative comments that your Mom may come up with, by taking apart what your Mom is saying.

Sometimes jw's can dig themselves into a hole without even knowing it. It could turn out in your favor.

And, I don't want to hear any of this suicide shit, okay?

It's not the answer. You can do better than that.

Hubert

wings

I hate it that you feel so alone. I don't know what to say, I wasn't any good at playing games with family.....but I'll send you a PM.

wings

james_woods

I am sure there will be several people giving you some thoughts in a few miinutes.

Let me ask - you were never baptised? Otherwise, I would think they would have DA or DF you by now.

I see a ray of hope here - you Mom sounds to me (just observing on the outside) to be pretty tolerant of your view if she actually asks you to not overly influence the sister - and wants you to go on a cruise, etc...

I think (just my crude & humble opinion) that a lot of this depression would kind of melt away if you took a little stronger stand on the "promise not to influence the sister". Maybe the depression is coming from a kind of helpless feeling. Maybe you need to be exerting some control of your own - not letting mom influence so much - good natured or not...

What, for example, gives mom the right to propagandize her and just ask you stand idly by when you know something bad is happening.

Also, try to find your sense of humor in all this in some small way - it is not all so dark and terrible as things may seem.

James

nelly136

can you get your money back from the cruise or is it too late?

hubert

can you get your money back from the cruise or is it too late?

Nelly, I think it's better that she goes on the cruise, so she would be able to talk to her sister. Otherwise, the mother will have full control, and can work on her daughter to get her to study again, without any interference.

Hubert

still_in74

I have a cruise booked with my mother and sister in June. I paid for it already but I don't want to go. I really need your input on this. I feel like crying all the time and have even thought about just not being around anymore. Obviously, my mother can't wait for me to die in Armegeddon and I may lose my sister, the only relative I really connect to. I hate the way this has divided everyone.

if you dont go then it is carte blanche for your mother to attack your sister. As difficult as it may be to get on that boat you probably should. Perhaps you can just not talk about the pink elephant and have a good time as a family?

I know easier said than done but you are the only one to be able to help your sister.

Oh and as already mentioned - have even thought about just not being around anymore - if this is what I think you are meaning then get ready for JWD members to hunt you down and "love bomb" you cause there is no way we are going to let it happen!! We all have difficulty with family and our "fake" lives (for those of us still in) - but we come here and vent and sometimes cry and it makes things a little easier to handle.

We all feel your pain, many of us have or are feeling the same pain in our lives. We are here for you.

Still..........

Balsam

Littleblueuk,

I promise you your Mama does not looked forward to your dying at armaggedon so dont' think that. I used to listen to moms and dads at the KH speak about how much they loved their children who had left the faith. So though your mom may react harshly at times she is only frustrated and frightened because of her believe system, not because she does not love you. As for your sister wanting to return, well that is her decision and if she really wanted to know the the facts about the Society then that is her decision too. Don't be angry or take it personally. Honey they are affected by cultish thinking and it has nothing to do with the love they have for you.

Love them tell them how you feel about being close with them, and how unconditional the love of family is or should be. Avoid discussions about the religion and let them make their own way unless they bring it up.

When I left the JW's, my two sons both left with me but my oldest son has often said if he ever needed spiritality he would likely go back to the witnesses. I know it is a matter of comfort, something he is familar with. If he goes back I know he would never shun me and he will always be close to me always. So I tell him son you do what makes you feel close to God but be reasonable and know I love you unconditionally.

It is hard I know to want to pull your family out of the JW's because of what you've learned but you must allow them the same freedom you value in your spiritual path. Love them unconditionally and leave the matter in the hands of the divine.

Warm Hugs honey,

Ruth

james_woods

++ to Hubert's idea. Go on the cruise. So long as it is just you three, of course...you don't want a tag-team event with the Elders just now.

Best chance you may have for a while to right some wrongs.

James

Farkel

I suggest you don't say anything about what you believe and don't say anything about the religion that might offend, no matter how true it is. When people are ready to face the fact, well, then they are ready to face the facts.

"The teacher will come when the student is ready."

That being said, bite your lips, put up with the nonsense and do your best to enjoy yourself. Your family loves you in the only way they know how. Sometimes it is hard to remember that, especially when the way they express it is not what you want.

Farkel

I need someone to talk to..

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