Most Awkward, Embarrassing, Comical things you Experienced as a Witness ?

by flipper 85 Replies latest jw friends

  • zagor
    zagor

    Oh man, I remember, how can I forget. I don't know if it happens elsewhere but where I was there seemed to be a shortage of young bros. So just about every time I went out witnessing with someone's mom who just so happened to have a daughter sitting on her ass somewhere at home and then all of a sudden, almost by magic conversation would turn from "holy" stuff toward more earthbound like how great her daugher is and how lucky would be a guy who marries her... (talk about business transactions of arranged marriages)

    I hoped it was just me imaganing but I had distinct feeling even one married one had hots at one time. In another occassion my mom heard about another one who needed 'needed counseling' ... but I'm not sure exactly what happened so better won't say anything. But you get the drill.

    Unfortunately I'd say now, as a good dub it used to piss me off that between the doors people would talk about sorts of crap and then put up a smile if suddenly someone actually opened the door. I remember commenting once at the WT that if that is the case we should really take a stopwatch and record only time we actually spoke at the door because considering all the 'rubbish' we talked in between could not possibly count that as a "holy service" Predictably that didn't go down very well lol.

  • four candles
    four candles

    Some really good anecdotes there. So how about these -

    During a talk on the service meeting about refurbing the hall,3 elders were giving ideas on how it should be done,decorwise. One of them was a sweet old man who everybody liked but he was'nt very wordly wise. He was telling us about the wallpaper and paint and colour scheme etc,and how he would like a dildo rail around the wall. He was oblivious to the other elders with tears running down their cheeks and most of the cong with their shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter. What made it even funnier was his wife turned round and said 'Why is every body laughing?'

    Another time I was on the ministry with my gran some years ago when we knocked a door,a lady came to the door,which was a full panel of frosted glass,and behind this glass was a bloke barking like a dog to scare us away.......

    If I think of any more I'll post em.

  • TinyDancer124
    TinyDancer124

    RR, my ex-husband and I used to do that when we were dating, but we were very discreet. I would drape my jacket around me so that no one could see him reaching his down down the front of my dress.

  • cognac
    cognac

    ok, here goes...

    When I was little, my presentation out in service offering the New World tract went like this:

    Me: Would you like to live in a world like this? Say "yes"

    I didn't know what to say if they said "no" so I just told them what they were supposed to say, lol

    Then there was the time when I was little that I asked my Dad if Mary and Jehovah were married. It only made sense to me, cause Mary was Jesus' mom and Jehovah was his Dad. So, instead of telling me the answer, my Dad said he didn't know and told me to ask the other elders, lol

    I felt bad for them, cause Mary was on earth and Jehovah was in heaven so they couldn't be together. It was a very sad thing to me.

  • BreakingAway
    BreakingAway

    A ventriloquist dummy commenting at the meeting ? Holy Crap ! I would have completely lost it !!!

  • sacolton
    sacolton

    I was asked to do a prayer at the end of the meeting and at some point my mind went blank ... nothing worse than a long 30-second pause in a prayer to find the words. Ugh! Hate that feeling. Embarrassing.

  • mattnoel
    mattnoel

    My best friend at the time farting in the middle of my talk in the school. I was laughing so hard I had to walk off in the middle of my bible reading! Going out in field service where my kids from my school lived and having them call out 'beeeeevaaaaan, dont knock at my door' ugh

  • flipper
    flipper

    SEARCHER- Good point ! Most comments JW's make at meetings could be made by dummies from ventriloquists.

    NOTANESS- Wow ! A hooker on your back patio ? That is crazy ! You guys were hoping to get action later with this hooker ? LOL! That's nuts !

    ZAGOR- Yeah- I hear you. There were lots of matchmaker " moms " in the witnesses. Always trying to hook you up to their daughters , or other eligible sisters. Strange.

    FOUR CANDLES- A " dildo rail ? That is hilarious ! I can just see everybody dying of laughter ! Obviously- the poor older elder's wife never saw a dildo ! LOL! Made it even funnier her asking what people were laughing about !

    TINY DANCER- So you made out in service too, eh ?

    COGNAC- I always thought Jehovah was married to Mary- you mean he's not ? I'm stumbled. LOL! I bet you made your dad nervous even back then as a girl with your inquisitive mind ! LOL!

    BREAKING AWAY- I would have lost my lunch laughing too - watching a ventriloquist dummy commenting !

    SACOLTON- That would be embarrassing forgetting what to say during prayer !

    MATTNOEL- Farts always get good laughs at meetings

  • golf2
    golf2

    In short, being a witness,



  • flipper
    flipper

    GOLF 2- Yes- being a witness was very embarrasing , I agree

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