If your friend has watched the news lately and seen any of the Reformed LDS women talking to the camera, he should know that an abusive religious relationship creates a shitpile of collateal damage. He's going to need to see a professional and start soul-searching and do some serious self-work to get straightened out (no pun intended).
Met an exJW when I was out Friday Night. His pain broke my heart.
by str8?so is spaghetti..until you heat it up 27 Replies latest jw friends
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SirNose586
One elder's brother has been df'd for a couple of decades now, but feels it was because he was just "incapable of meeting Jehoobie's righteous standards." Very, very sad, those poor little hamsters who get shocked for touching the pellet, yet still want to eat.
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Layla33
Yes, welcome to the Twilight Zone of the JW religion. Those that are DFs, won't go back, but still practice it and believe in it. I have one in my family, it makes no sense, but they are so indoctrinated, that even though they are not in it, they are still conditioned by it. It is sad.
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dinah
It seems that people who get df'd have a harder time moving on. Usually they feel worthless and just flawed somehow.
Reading CoC helped me more than anything. It makes it quite obvious that there is no way on God's Green Earth those nuts speak for him. It really takes the mystery and power away from the Governing Body.
I hope you are able to get in touch with this guy and help him.
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BenV
Hi Rob,
I know someone like this -- DFd, gay and still believes in his heart that it's the "Truth" -- and that god will kill him at any moment. Very sad. It's difficult for me to understand sometimes. I wonder if your friend's drug problem isn't related to his religiously-induced internalized self-loathing.
Radical religious belief can be like falling into a deep well. Some people can climb out; some people you can reach and help with an extended hand. And for some, well ... religion can be a cruel and tragic prison.
You've gotten some good advice here.
I was reading recently and came across a quote from South African, Steve Biko. (A black political prisoner who was murdered in prison.) He wrote: "The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed." That speaks volumes to me.
Brotherly hugs, Benjamin
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jstalin
I think i hurt for him more because he seems so lost. I am in pretty much the same position as he is, except a bit earlier on in the journey. I am gay, exjw, no family contact. I want him to feel the freedom i have. We exchanged details so we can stay in contact, but i worry for him. He even sounded a bit suicidal. I recommended he see a professional. But he has the JW mindset about therapy - what Jehobidoobie won't fix can't be fixed.
Sounds like he looks to you as a bit of an authority, since you were so "close" to jehoobie. Use that to your advantage and tell him your story. Explain why you left. That might help him to think about the situation.
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scotsman
There's an occasional poster on here, Scoobysnax, who fits a similar description and used to annoy a few with his proJW postings. I have a good friend that's gay, though not dfed but remains a believer and attends the memorial. We've had many a heated discussion but I've come to accept that I can't change his mind, and even though I percieve it as making him unhappy, it's his life. He has a very sentimental view of his life as a JW.
You can point your new friend in the direction of help, but you can't make him accept it. I doubt he'd be that open to reading CoC but I could be wrong - the inactive but believing people I know remain defensive.
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BFD
I was just like that guy. For 30 years. It wasn't until after reading CofC that the wheels started to turn in my brain but, the wheels were very rusty. I continued to "believe" it although I never stepped foot in a KH or convention since 1979.
It was reading and meeting people from JWD that finally freed my mind. I still have bad days but I know in my heart that we were all deceived by a publishing company.
BFD