What are men scared of???

Billygoat

I just read Tyydyy's post on macho men. Kent had an interesting point:

I'd say a girl would go for a MAN - and then I mean someone who isn't scared shitless by a girl with brains!

This is something that I've never really understood. I am a 30 year old woman with a successful career (even with little college education) that has a great paycheck and little debt. I consider myself cute on my good days and boyish on my bad days. Even though I do have a strong personality (standing up for what I believe and I don't let anyone push me around) I don't consider myself bossy or manipulative by any means.

I am a small woman and many men think that means I don't have a backbone. So I have always been one of those women that pick abusive men that take advantage of me. But within the last two years or so, I find that men are intimidated by my new found empowerment and strength. Why are so many men threatened by that? I still think I'm "little ol' Andi".

Neil and I have been dating over a year now, so he knows I'm not a bossy or manipulative woman (truly I'm a big mushpot underneath it all), but he agrees that many men are intimidated by a woman like me.

What gives???

Andi

ashitaka

I'm afraid of you...please don't beat me:).

Seriously, though, my wife has asked me the same thing. I always tell her that it's just remenants of their upbringing. I myself had a very assertive mother, so being married an assertive female is not very strange to me.

But, some men who had wishy-washy mothers consider all women to be frail, and those who aren't 'bitches'.

That's what I suppos some men think.

ashi

slipnslidemaster

Andi, call me?

Slipnslidemaster:"The average person thinks he isn't."
- Father Larry Lorenzoni

Makena1

Andi - don't you know, women that are good looking are not supposed to possess any intellect. You are just an adornment hanging on our arm! You can't have brains and good looks - it goes against nature! ;)

Seriously, I think that some men who have low self-esteem, lack confidence in themselves etc. are threatened by smart, self-assertive women. Also, the women stereotypes in the media - models, film stars (in the past)are portrayed as mostly airheads - you are only allowed to look pretty and not spout anything remotely intelligent. If you do, it is so out of the norm that some men cannot handle it. In some men's minds, woman are not supposed to be equal, and if they come across that way, its a huge threat. Sad.

On the other hand, there must be a lot of men like myself that find an intelligent woman incredibly sexy. If you can teach me things I don't know, your value goes up exponentially.

Makena
Celebrating and reveling in women that are smart and attractive - thankfully I am married to one!

JanH

You surely have a point there, Andi. I have always wondered why some men seem to prefer women who appear harmless, weak and unintelligent.

Of course, sometimes women make the allegation that men are afraid of "strong women" just because they disagree with them. Some women are desperate to appear strong, and confuse strength with confrontationism. Eager to not repeat past mistakes, they chose a style that persuades some men they may be better off with a "weak" woman after all.

Naturally, many women are also reluctant to pick a man who is not superior to them physically, financially and intellectually.

- Jan
--
"Doctor how can you diagnose someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and then act like I had some choice about barging in here right now?" -- As Good As It Gets

OUTLAW

Hey Billygoat,wheres that nice new picture of you?So besides being attractive your petite,intelligent and a strong decent person.Thats a nice package! If a guy can`t appreciate you for those qualitys unload him quick!There are men that are looking for someone just like you.And thats a fact...OUTLAW

Xena

It's funny I have found the opposite. When I was a JW I never interacted much with other men...it was discouraged you know! But since that time I have enjoyed getting to know several men and to my suprise have found that they are very supportive and happy to meet women that are intelligent and have a sense of humor. I feel that some women might tend to supress these qualities because they feel that men won't like them if they seem to smart or sassy. lol being married I don't really care one way or the other if they like me so I tend to be myself and am really impressed with the response I get from men. lol of course I am not saying I am the brightest crayon in the box...but hopefully I am not the dullest either

Of course there are exceptions to every rule!!!

radar

Xena

You look like an attractive crayon to me.

Radar

All that we see or seem/ Is but a dream within a dream.

-Edgar Allen Poe

Billygoat

I'm a member of an actual JW discussion board on Yahoo. It amazes me to see how many spineless sisters there are there!!! And it amazes me still when a confident outspoken sister is put down by the brothers on the board. The whole "submissive woman is a holy woman" drives me nuts! As if thinking for oneself is a crime. Wait a second...to them it is. Nevermind...

I do consider myself a strong person. I don't always feel confident or courageous, I often times feel fearful, but I think that's natural. To me courage is mastering your fear and using it for good. If a woman (or anyone for that matter!) has the courage to speak out their opinion, especially in the face of disagreement, then I find that extremely attractive. I used to hate it when my ex had NO OPINION on anything. Didn't ever voice his thoughts on anything of consequential matters. I remember wondering, "Do you have a brain in there? Do you have an opinion? Or are you scared to voice it?" Come to find out, voicing his opinion scared him because he was afraid I'd disagree with him. But now I think, "Who cares if I disagree with you? Disagreeing doesn't mean I don't love you or won't like you anymore." I guess I am TOTALLY turned off by a spineless man and just think men would have the same viewpoint about a spineless woman.

To each his own...

Andi

joelbear

This is just a guess, but I'll make it anyway.

I think that the pressure involved with having another human depend on you and sometimes having 2 or 3 or 5 other humans depend on you, takes its toll on a man's mental energy.

I think that this makes them much more apt to be defensive and possibly drives their need for control and to be self assured about everything.

Even evolutionarily though, this doesn't make sense. In most cultures men and women shared the work, the women were not huddled around cringing, just waiting for men to provide for them.

Maybe its because men are used to having to fight for their little piece of territory and its hard to turn off the agressometer.

Theories only.

Joel

What are men scared of???

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