Trying to remember what it is I have been supposed to be doing since Monday. Don't have a clue.
My daughter ran away and all her stupid ass friends are not giving her up. The police are looking and nothing. I know one knows where she is and has told her sister it is not a good place. that she is doing all the things she can get her hands on. Earlier this year we had her stomache pumped. She has been gone since Sunday. I am waiting for a knock at the door telling me the worst and I feel so helpless.
Not much I can do. Burn down the town?
She will show only if she wants to.
She is so far gone that she has ten different stories floating about as to why she is gone. One I don't date, two I made stupid choices all of which deflect attention from what she is doing. Three and latest I heard killed me. Now I am a druggy and that is why she left. I take all kind of mess. That one made me laugh. According to her I stay strung out all day long and abuse her. Wow. The police said to expect more. My older ladies who have been through it said to hope that the worst that she comes home with is a baby. Not that a baby is a "worse" thing...but she does not need one at 16. She does not need a death dealing disease or plain death.
She spouts off all about everyone and everyones kids they don't know and whatever she can that will hurt so that she feels she has a valid red herring. No red Herrring is valid IMO. That is them. This is her. They will have to deal with themselves and thier kids when they get there. Not my problem.
Then when talking to the police I told them what happened and they asked me amazed by the scene why I did not turn her over my knee. Well who is gonna do that nowadays?
When I gave the list of possibles I know to the police, they knew of the lady called "mama" that my daughter finds so wonderful in the neighborhood. A pretty rode hard put up wet looking lady who has acid blonde colored hair and one maybe 5 teeth. Yeah they were all too familiar.
So here I sit lost, not knowing how to help her. Her phone charger is lost and can only be ordered on the net, so why put any more minutes on it...
She only has what she is wearing and possibly a pack of ciggs and maybe up to 50 bucks that is missing. her schoolwork is here, and I just got us into a home that would fit us all so that she could stay in the neighborhood. I wanted to move out of the country.
My son graduates and leaves in the next few months. He graduates the day after my birthday. So I have about 3 empty rooms and it is myself and a seven year old that does not understand where her sister is. Nobody does. Stuck in a town I hate with a home that is empty.
She just got thru a stretch of doing mostly as she should have been told, doing a ton of homework, seemingly on the right path, and this last month has been insane. mood swings, no responsibility, nothing. She who usually sleeps to noon gets u at 6 and has cleared more moving boxes than one can shake a stick at like she is on something. Mad because I am not impressed because she did not come home till 4 maybe 5 hours late if at all. Crying because she llost her priveledges...not that it matters because she does not listen to the restrictions at all.
I am at a loss, and not a dang thing I can do. She is building a mess for herself if she survives. She is 96 pounds naturally. A living bombshell, and I don't see how this world is not going to chew her up and spit her out.
I see all my savings going on rehab if she is found and the plan I had falling down midflight. So if anyone has been through this...what did you do? Did they come home safe. because I have a half a dozen to a dozen personal examples where no they did not and I feel ill. Really ill.
I love her and cannot reach her or help her at all. At this point, I don't even care if it is public. Hell soon enough she may be on a milk carton if it persist. No joke.
.....In the end..All you can do is be there for them when they are ready..
...................
...OUTLAW