Would you have made friends with the type of friends you had as a witness,?

LouBelle

I ask this because when I look back on some of the friends I had back when I was a witness, they were so much work (not all). Plus a lot of them were rather nerdy / sheltered. Not that I thought myself as uber cool, but I was street smart and had to grow up early in life and had a few responsiblities on my plate. A lot were sheltered and kinda clung to me like a limpit to a rock because I was the one organising events, I was the friendly one and would accept all sorts in to my group, and to an extent helped them grow in certain aspects.

I only made friends....or rather they made friends with me simply because we were witnesses and were "lumped" together. Attended the same junior/high school, same congregation. It's only obvious that you are going to start forming a bond. If I met the same kind of people now I probably wouldn't make friends with them. Bar for the faith we didn't have all that much in common. Many times I would feel so drained, like they had drawn the life out of me. Constant upkeep, constant encouraging, building them up... no one really returned the favour (not that you always want that - but friendships are a 2 way street) I was always giving giving of myself. I had to be the strong one in the crowd. It's saps your energy.

Now I look for friends that can function on their own and don't need to pampered / looked after / or are negative.

Hope4Others

There are a couple I may have still made friends with, just because we did a lot of non-jw stuff

with them, camping, hitting the beach Sunday afternoons...right out of the hall straight to the beach

we had a lot of great times...The rest well NOT, too many were over bearing or self righteous...Although

I did pioneer many years I loved the slackers the best...they were more real. Lol

cheers
hope4others

chickpea

my husband and i were very close
to a very "theocratic" couple....
an elder and a pioneer

i would auxillary pioneer with her
because we had a blast...
we would literally laugh til we cried.....

all of us had " come from the world"
so we had common histories and
common ground.... we had some
really memorable times together.....

i wish they would wake the hell up
and rejoin the world, but since she has
4 of her 5 kids and all the grandkids still
enslaved by the b0rg, i dont really see
that we will ever enjoy their company again...

i HATED having to draw conversation
out of some of the r&f... i am certain it
was as tortuous for them as it was
excruciating for me.... certainly not
the basis for real companionship...

TinyDancer124

Haha, I probably would have. Most of my friends left the borg before I did.

Witness 007

Good question...there was only one or two good ones and the rest you could throw back in....haughty, self loving pioneers are not good friends. I wish I had a "do over" when it comes to firends...the only fun ones were a little shall we say "worldly."

willyloman

For many years I had lots of "friends," many of whom were people that I would not have ever invited to my house if it weren't for "the truth." I wore that as a badge of honor, believing it was proof of a spiritual brotherhood and that I was closer to perfection for overcoming my shallow perceptions of people.

Later, I began to realize that there's are many good reasons you would never invite some people to your house, much less let them inside your head and your heart.

We are too soon old and too late smart!

babygirl75

I had some friends that would just exhaust you. You were always trying to be on your best behavior and watch what you say & do so as not to stumble them. I always felt uncomfortable around them but tried to be the fine upstanding christian.

Then I had some friends that we had an absolute blast! We could tell each other anything and do some wild and crazy stuff that is not so JW like. I so miss them and wish they were out of the borg to where we could be close again.

The worldly friends I have now, are unconditional friendships. They laugh & cry with me and support me in whatever I do. They are not judgemental.

Quirky1

Yeah, there were a few really good people in the cult. I enjoyed a few of them.

Casper

haughty, self loving pioneers are not good friends. I wish I had a "do over" when it comes to firends...the only fun ones were a little shall we say "worldly."

Having come from the world into the organization... I would have to agree with the above statement.

Some JWs were so pious, I thought any minute they were gonna float right up to heaven....

Cas

jaguarbass

I had some good times with some of the friends I had as a witness.

I was young, the world was young.

I had witness friends that I played music with. That I played baseball and football and field hockey with.

I had witness friends that I went out to dinner with, and played cards and drank with.

In some respect I dont think I would have had as much fun and pleasure at that time of my life if I was worldly.

Too bad it wasnt the truth.

Would you have made friends with the type of friends you had as a witness,?

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