Loosie, I'd tell her anynomously then it's up to her to believe it. The moral burden is on you if you. I mean with AIDs and other diseases running rampant, isn't it fair that she'd have a chance to protect herself?
What would you do if you knew...
by loosie 55 Replies latest jw experiences
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John Doe
Personally, I would go to the husband and offer him the choice of telling her and if he did not, then I would. The situation will be a lot better if he comes clean himself.
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The Last Nephilim
She has a right to know. I was driven to the point of madness for the last 2 years of my first marriage because I KNEW that my wife was cheating on me but couldn't put my finger on it. Chances are that the lady who's being cheated on already has an idea that something is going on. She needs to prepare herself for the worst and not let the cheating husband get the drop on her. In my case, my own sister knew that my ex was cheating on me and didn't tell me for nearly a year! It took a while for me to forgive her for that! If you were in this lady's shoes, you'd want to know, wouldn't you? Tell her! Don't wait! Not saying anything is akin to not saying anything to others about pedophiles in the congregation! Telling her is the right thing to do!
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imissmaine
She absolutely needs to know. There must be plenty of ways for her to "find out" about this without you having to tell her directly.
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JWdaughter
First, get new friends!:)
Second, and only in the interest of public health, you should let the spouses know-anonymously. Otherwise you are setting your butt plop in a bunch of such stinky manure that you will never remove the stench!
Shelly -
cognizant dissident
Unless you are family or very good friends with the wife or she comes right out and asks you, I would leave it alone.
How do you know that she doesn't already know about it and has chose to stay with him anyway? It happens more than you think.
As far as protecting other people from sexually transmitted diseases, how do you know the husband and girlfriend aren't using protection? How do you know the wife and husband don't use protection? How do you know that she is not having an affair too and infecting her husband with God knows what? The possibilities are truly endless here.
I say mind your own business. Other people's sex lives are not your business.
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Quentin
Hard question to answer...the wife should know what's going on, for many reasons...yet whistle blowers are not liked after the fact...dammed if do, dammed if you don't...I don't envey your position...
Myself, I'd stay out of it...it's a Pandoras Box, once opened you can't get it closed...sad thing is, in the end the wife may despise you more than she would her husband...
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hotchocolate
I agree with cognizant and others, I think stay out of it.
If you want to apply the "do unto others" rule, you need to also apply it to the two having the affair. You don't know the full story, or what has led them to the affair. Maybe their partners also cheated at some point.
It is actually possible that a person may NOT wish to know that their spouse is cheating. Perhaps they already suspect but prefer to put their head in the sand. It is highly likely that they ARE suspicious, and if they really wanted to know there are ways to find out.
I don't think any outside party has the right to interfere with a relationship, no matter what they know. -
WildHorses
Personally, I'd want to know if my husband were cheating on me. To many std's out there.
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WTWizard
On the chance that they are being upfront with their spouses and that everyone is in agreement, I would generally let it go. However, if I knew the person was not being upfront, then I would blow them in so the spouse would get a chance to know what is going on (and especially if this person was doing this with everyone else on the team).