Hubby said he was worried I would ever shut him out like I do my family.

cognac

I told him that spiritually I already do. I said that it caused way to many arguments and for both our sakes it seemed best that we did not have a spiritual connection with eachother.

He also brought out reaching out in the cong. I said to him that he should do what makes him happy. However, I also said that it hurts me because I feel that he is reaching out spiritually with the cong, when he didn't with me.

This bothered him. He asked what he could do to fix it these things.

I said that we could study the scriptures together. With JW literature used only as a reference.

I said that I'd like him to be not so closed minded. I said that it was ok not to agree with everything the FDS says. Afterall, if they don't have everything correct and he believes God accepts them, then why would God not accept us if we didn't have everything correct? He agreed.

I said I'd like us to be able to bounce ideas off eachother, ask questions and so forth.

So, today, I'd like to ask him a question.

Any ideas of what to start with? Thanks!

hillbilly

He's more likely afraid you will go wild and dump him.. he's looking for some velcro to grab onto... show him his home life will be stable... different but stable.

On this side of the fence you can "win a spouse without saying a word"...now what he does with that word is up to him

Hill

bebu

He said that if I find another religion that teaches the truth that we should go to that one. I told him the problem with that is that I have a HUGE family that is in the truth and do not want to lose them. He said that I shouldn't have to because if I found the real truth that they should be following it. He doesn't think I will find something else that teaches some of the correct main doctrines like Jehovah's name, etc...

Hi cognac! That excerpt is from your very first post. I wonder if he still believes what he said here? Perhaps your first question should be, "Do you still believe that it we should go to another religion if we realized it taught what was true? And it so, how would you get to the point of knowing it was right?"

Is it possible to have a pure motive in testing the WT claims, or is it always evil?

It is always easy to SAY that one would leave for another religion for the truth; but think about how that process might come about! It doesn't simply happen in 30 minutes (usually!). It takes a process of evaluation and double-checking and so forth, a la the Bereans. That is where integrity is important--to be unbiased. And also to trust God that the process is acceptable after all, even though it is so dangerous to anyone who takes it up.

To actually leave where you are now to follow a truth... it is harder than it sounds. And it hardly happens in a minute!

Oh, I really hope that you can work these things out together!

bebu

OnTheWayOut

There are so many questions that can cause a mind to snap out for a moment.

I tried this one with my mother:

What's the point of Jehovah guiding the FDS to flip flop on our current understanding?
If Armageddon is so close, why bother to keep changing the understanding of
"this generation" ? And why give one understanding in 1995, just to change it
again in 2008? If the generation had nothing to do with people alive in 1914, then
why not just reveal the correct understanding right away, or at least leave it alone
until time to reveal the correct understanding? Other example: Sodom and Gomorrah.
Did those who died qualify for a resurrection? The answer is not as important as
why WTS flipped back and forth on it. What's the point?

cognac

Wow, Bebu, you remembered that? lol

I really think he just said that as a cop-out. I think he felt that no other religion preaches world-wide so there could be no other "true religion"...

I think he thought I could never get past that so that was his way of reasoning with me...

cognac

OTWO ~

Very good reasoning! Except, that's wayyyyyyy over his head. You see, he's in the truth, but very lazy about it in some ways...

Such as:

He doesn't study

We meet the group for field service and then go out to eat right after... You see, we don't go out either, lol

He doesn't even really pay attention to the meetings.

We had sex before we were married.

We've gambled together

We've smoked together

He's been on this site before...

And so on and so on... I have no idea why he stills clings to this religion. I can't figure out how this is all justified in his head or how to reason with him...

I guess he's just like, "well, God forgives us for our sins" and then just moves on...

How in the world do you reason with this type of personality???

OnTheWayOut

I don't know, Cognac. Some questions that challenge his weakness might
backfire and cause him to get stronger in the JW's.

I suppose you can find simple subjects to look at and keep chipping away
at WTS. How about this:
We are told we have the truth, not to listen to outside information.
Don't the Mormons and the Baptists and the fundamentalists believe they
have the truth? Don't many of their leaders tell them not to look at the
outside information? Doesn't the Bible say the truth is not afraid of the
darkness? You will know the truth and the truth shall set you free.

momzcrazy

Maybe he is hoping that God will understand all the "sins" and overlook them if he picks up in activity, or at least appears to.

You could tell him that your family has hurt you, and as a defense you have shut them out. It is scary to think you could get hurt again.

momz

Satanus

Since he doesn't seem to operate much on the intellectual level, perhaps work w him on another level. On which level does he live, mainly?

S

bebu

I guess it won't hurt to ask his opinion about this issue (whether he's really serious about pursuing truth at any cost). You could even point out (carefully) that you actually meant it... and it seems to be costing you plenty already!

Before looking for truth, he could decide to be, himself, an honest man.

bebu

Hubby said he was worried I would ever shut him out like I do my family.

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