Are single-never-married heterosexual males approaching their forties... (page 8)

1914BS

I'm a washing machine man myself (spin cycle) oh and bathtub too!!

zagor

...Losers?

Hahaha, I think many married man feel like losers when they see their unmarried mates still having time of their lives.

I guess if that is how you feel then that feeling becomes you. If you are feeling fulfilled by the life you live then who are others to judge you? After all, are you trying to live up to their or your own expectations? I can ask the same question of married people, ''Are you really happy with what you're left with or are you just existing from one day to another hoping shit will stop hitting fan and life will turn out better?"

But some people are happiest in marriage, they need that feeling of protection and security a formal relationship brings just as some are devoted to the company they work for and would feel lost if they had to go out again and work for someone else.

Then there are other enterprising types of people who value their freedom, who think living a life is actually more fulfilling than dreaming about it, or watching it on a movie screen happening to someone else. Actually it is funny but these ones tend to be far happier if they do get married eventually than the first group, I really wonder why.

It is not that marriage is a wrong thing. I remember once going from house to house and we came across this elderly couple. The gentleman was just listening our discussin with his wife. Finally he opened his mouth and said "son, if your marriage works perectly there is no greater paradise on earth and if it doesn't there is no hotter hell, it will suck a life out of your bones and then burn them alive, one day at a time" And you know what? he was right. If two people cannot go through a day without stepping on each other toes over trivial things, then forget that big things called 'sharing life together'. There will not be much of a life left.

So no I don't think somebody is a loser just because he hasn't jumped into something others, family, firends, society, whoever, are expecting him to do. It is very easy for them to discuss and 'decide' what is the best thing for you to do and how to live your life in 'acceptable manner' because of the simple fact - it is not theirs, they don't feel you pain, and after all, why should you be any happer than they are? so 'who care', right?!? That is how society presumptions are made, and 'Happily Married' is one of them.

JK666

Dan,

You just have to find the right person for you, keep on keepin' on.

JK

1914BS

No no no , the trick is finding the right bathtub. You want one with fairly flat sides not the curvy kind ......it wont say put...... but if you are a girl then yes maybe curvy sides are for you

DanTheMan

Warning: the following is somewhat rambling and probably sad to read...

I'm trying very hard to make peace with the reality of my situation - that I am, quite honestly, a low-status male and have been as far back as I can remember. I've been told many times that I am "cute" and I keep wondering why this alleged cuteness that I possess isn't getting me laid left and right but I'm learning that there's a whole galaxy of factors other than one's physical attractiveness (and really I'm not even so great in this area) that come into play, especially when it comes to what attracts women to men, where social status probably plays an equal if not greater role than physical attractiveness.

So, with this grudging acceptance of my situation comes the battle to redefine myself. God how I have always wanted the ladies to love me. I can't even tell you. And I have the ego of a ladies man - I gauge my worth by my attractiveness to the opposite sex. And it's only recently that I'm becoming fully conscious of the fact that I'm really really not a ladies man and that I have kidded myself for many years in this area, thinking that I was just *that* close, if I just could do this or that a little better, than BAM I'd be there.

And so, I face the prospect of never getting the high-quality babe that I have longed for for so long. The most recent dating episode has been a big cup of black reality coffee. Although I'm sure she meant well, the gal whose name I replaced with a ____ in the above post (her name is Gina) told me in so many words that she found me attractive in so many ways...but she just didn't feel the physical part. And that's where the aforementioned status issues come into play. People know a low status male when they see one, or at least when they've been around him for any period of time. We give it away in a million ways. I got the feeling that Gina really agonized over whether she wanted to continue dating me. That she finally decided that she didn't drove it home all the more that the sex (status) part killed it for her; that everything else was there. Yay...I'm feeling great.

Dan, trying-to-cope-with-reality class

noni1974

Well if your down on yourself women can smell that a mile away. We don't want to date a guy who doesn't think well of himself. Maybe your not a stud but you probally have lots of good qualitys your not seeing and if you can't see those how can we?? It's the same for us girls. It really doesn't matter what you look like on the outside it's all about self confidence.

Junction-Guy

Sorry to hear you are going through this hard time, let me ask you a question.

Since you were a young adult convert to the JW's and not a born in, do you think there may be something about your personality that being a JW changed?

In other words, did you have much better luck pre-JW days versus your now post JW days?

I have met you in person, and you seemed like a decent guy, you werent ugly or anything like that. I personally don't see why you are having such a difficult time, unless somehow being a JW lowered your self esteem and perhaps that may be playing a factor.

Since you live near a big city, there has to be numerous dating groups for singles, have you checked them all out, or just some?

I may be wrong, but you are an atheist now right, or at least an agnostic? Are there any dating venues there for atheists outside of bars?

women are definitely strange creatures, especially the secular ones, I will give you that.

Are single-never-married heterosexual males approaching their forties...

1914BS

zagor

JK666

1914BS

DanTheMan

noni1974

Junction-Guy

Xena

ninja

ninja

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