Funerals = JW infomercials

by Lady Zombie 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Lady Zombie

  One of the more asinine practices of JWs is to turn someone's funeral into a Borg infomercial. Every single JW relative I've had who has passed away, had an infomercial funeral. Hardly anything was ever said about them as people, except of course in how they served the Borg.

  "Sister X was a very pugnatious woman, even into her late 80's, as I'm sure her family can attest to. It was her indomitable spirit that propelled her in the field ministry."

  "Brother J would not want you to be sad right now. No, he would want you to look forward to seeing him again in the New Order and to keep faithful."

  "Sister P was a lifelong, faithful witness of Jehovah!"

  I hate this habit and practice. A funeral isn't for the benefit of the dead, but a chance for friends and family to gather and say goodbye and celebrate their life. Maybe we wanted to hear amusing little stories from their lives. Maybe we wanted to appreciate them as people.

  But no. Their funerals were/are made into a field service call on a captive audience. What if the deceased had unbelieving relatives? I know in some cases in my family, the unbelieving relatives sat quietly at the back of the funeral home and looked very sad and resigned and disgusted at the behavior of all the JWs in attendance. As well they ought!

  I've told my folks that if anything ever happens to me, they are to cremate me, and no memorial service is to be held.

  I hate this religion.
• 

  james_woods

  This is precisely why I have decided that no matter how close the JW friend or relative, I will simply not be attending any more JW funerals.

  Why should I give moral support to their pathetic attempts to self-promote their twisted brand of religion on trapped outsiders who are just there to be polite?

  I can write a note, visit with the relatives, or something outside their political rallye masquerading as a memorial service.
• 

  Gopher

  I went to my JW grandmother's funeral a couple years ago, and it sure followed the "infomercial" outline -- 2 minutes about grandma, and 28 minutes about what she believed. Yikes.

  I went though and visited with non-JW relatives and let them know I definitely wasn't in harmony with the JW's any more. I said my goodbye to grandma in my own way, and got to see relatives I hardly ever see.
• 

  bluesapphire

  You want to know what is even MORE pathetic?

  Try having a Catholic funeral for your Catholic sister who was Catholic her entire life. Low and behold her little JW sister shows up at the funeral with her cronies who all stand OUTSIDE the church (making a stand).

  Then they go to her dad's house (another lifelong Catholic) and proceed to stand at the door with their little pamphlets of "When a Loved One Dies" and giving them to all the guests.

  Funny thing is seeing the waste basket at my dad's house FULL of those brochures. Everyone who got one apparently tossed it in the circular file. LOL
• 

  Seeker4

  I found that many Witnesses feel JW funerals are distasteful.
  
  I did many of them, and never did the infomercial thing. I think it was for that reason that I literally had dozens of the friends ask if I'd do their funeral service.
  
  I remember one sister telling me about her first JW funeral experience. "I listened to the talk, and at the end asked myself, 'Is there anybody in that casket?'!"
  
  Personally, I think most Witness funerals are disasters.
  
  S4
• 

  WTWizard

  I have only been to one of these wastefests, and it was not worth the time. It was about staying faithful to the Washtowel to death, and singing the deceased's favorite Kingdumb Malady. What a waste of my time.

  At least I got out of field circus that day.
• 

  buckster

  At my Grandfathers funeral I was approached by two of my father's cousins while talking to an uncle that had been out for more than a decade.. Both were woman in their 60's raised in the troof and had never married. Lived with their parents their entire life. "Can you believe that this young man disappeared from our lives and never bothered to call? He stopped going to meetings and and just left. Can you believe that? " they said to my uncle who had just lost his father. They proceeded to go on some sort of rant about my abandonment of them and my loss of love for Jehovah and "His" "loving" organization. They basically attacked me as a person to my uncle right in front me at my grandfather's (his dad) funeral. His chin hit the ground as we shunned them together at that point. Felt good. The tactless gall of these two never ceased to amaze me. I've got a milion stories about these two self righteous lifers.

  This of course was following the prior witnomercial of a memorial that always describes witness beliefs to remember the person because witnesses HAVE NO beliefs of their own. Not allowed to.

  If I went on about all of the appaling behaviors at such events I would simply not have the time. My last witness funeral was the worst. It was for my Dad.

  One of my best friends(who is not a witness, I do not have any friends that are) walked out and said that he was sad for my dad as he learned nothing about him as a person from the memorial. and that what he really learned is that it was just an opportunity for these people to not have to knock on doors for the day because all they did was try to convert non- believers that thought they were showing up to a funeral.

  He could not believe that I did not walk out as it was unmistakable that it was obvious and known, that while not named directly, I was pointed out by both speakers as being the only non believing child of my father's and that his big concern upon dying was that his son with his family would come back to the religion and be saved. All this with my wife and children sitting next to me who have never been a part of this mess. I felt as if the entire room were staring at my family. Believers with disdain, false hope,and disgust; non-believers with astonishment at the unfeeling nature of the organization and speakers that presented the memory of my father.

  And yet I knew what I was in for. I have seen it before. I do not shelter my children from this crap because they need to know. They need to know what garbage is when they hear it. You never know when a relative will try to infiltrate believeing that their intentions are good, right and true. An education about the atrocities of this religion from an early age is critical. They need to understand why their Grandma doesn't come and visit although living close. The children need to understand that the relatives they love gave up their gift of free will because they believe a group of men control what God gave humankind.

  There are more examples and stories. More another time.
• 

  BabaYaga

  Great post and welcome, Buckster!
  
  So horrendously true about the infomercial. I endured it for my Mom to support my Dad... but when Dad died also, (over the blood issue, by the way,) I could not endure their spew again. I knew that they would not honor my Beloved Dad in any way, and I skipped it.
  
  Ah, well. Here we are.
  
  Love to all (and to think that we have to endure that insult while intensely grieving is obscene.)
  Baba.
• 

  hillbilly

  My Aunt (no religious preference) lost her husband, he was murdered. Aunty calls my mom (weak JW) who hunts up an elder 200 miles away to do the funeral.

  My Aunt figured cause my mom was "religious" she would hook her up with someone who could comfort Uncs kinfolk... his death was brutal and not expected at all. He was shot and left for days...closed casket, dental records for ID.. this was a bad deal so the family was really hurting.

  Old Johnny Jaydubya was right on time. Cursory introductions all around ... so far so good. He did the chapel thing... never missed a beat..straight JW stock outline funeral talk...plus he got Uncs personal stuff like hometown all messed up.

  At the gravesite he condensed the same talk. By now Uncs kids and mom were livid.

  This would have been funny if not so sad. Imaging Steve Carrel playing the elder.

  Hill
• 

  NikL

  I would add JW weddings to the infomercial category. Mine was horrendously long because the elder giving the talk had to preach to all my unbelieving relatives. had to sit and listen to a 40-45 minute talk before we got to the vows. Even my wife who remains a JW thought it sucked.