Women being in subjection...a sore subject

by milligal 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • milligal
    milligal

    I was raised JW and of course the whole theory that a man is the head and the woman must respect her husband and be in subjection to his authority was ingrained in me from a young age. My mother, (oddly enough) chose the JW religion, dragged my father in kicking and screaming (he later served as an elder for 17 years) and she complained constantly about men being in control and her pains as a woman in subjection.

    Now, I already have a good idea about my mother's problems. But I wonder why IN THE HELL would any conscientious woman choose a belief system that would enslave her to her significant other? Why would any woman with female children even consider raising their daughters to subject themselves to another human male or female?

    At the risk of sounding offensive, I don't believe that one human being holds power over another, outside of social boundaries that must be in place for an organized society (if you murder someone you have to go to jail, the police hold that authority so we can have a peaceful existence etc. ) and I do not believe that having a penis (can I say penis here?) enables you to somehow have more knowledge and expertise than someone who has a vagina (there it is again...those awkward words...).

    My husband and I try to live by the rule of thumb-whoever is best at the given topic takes the lead in that area and the other will typically give in. But each of us hold our strengths and weaknesses and with honesty we are able to reach agreement most of the time-without me bowing to all his wishes. That's how adults do things-do we really need to have the whole 'there can only be one driver on a ship...' theory to make our lives work?

    Any thoughts???

  • Lady Zombie
    Lady Zombie
    At the risk of sounding offensive, I don't believe that one human being holds power over another, outside of social boundaries that must be in place for an organized society (if you murder someone you have to go to jail, the police hold that authority so we can have a peaceful existence etc. ) and I do not believe that having a penis (can I say penis here?) enables you to somehow have more knowledge and expertise than someone who has a vagina (there it is again...those awkward words...).

    Why is that offensive?

    This is a huge soapbox for me too. And I too wonder how the hell can any self-respecting woman enter, or stay in, a religion where she is considered less than a man. This goes for Judiasm and Islam too.

  • kerj2leev
    kerj2leev

    Well woman came from man. Didn't Paul hightlight this?

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    This was a huge problem for me even when I was a JW. I wanted a partner not a "head". Ugh.

  • james_woods
    james_woods

    Well, the Watchtower really likes to beat this drum loudly, doesn't it? Not too surprising, considering that the hard core of the old ruling class were pretty anti-marriage and anti-children.

    Many other christian religious sort of view the apostle Paul as quaintly mysogynist in some of his writings - and that is where the WTS gets most of the fuel to pour on it's woman in subjection fire...

    So, I just consider the source in both cases.

  • JK666
    JK666

    It is amazing that the WT magazines came down so hard on The Rolling Stones music; you would think they would love the song "Under My Thumb."

    JK

  • kzjw
    kzjw

    Really good question...sometimes i consider faking my way into baptism & becoming an elder, just to impose my will...but I never wanted to be the "Head" anyway - I wouldn't mind getting a little now & then, but that's another thread! lol!

  • hillbilly
    hillbilly

    cave man perspective. I defer a ton of stuff to my wife... I trust her. We talk about major things.

    But... my name is on the top of just about all the contracts and things we enter into with the rest of the world. If we get sued and my name is on the paper I tend to reserve the last word.

    I'm not real worried about "whos in charge" but I do worry about who takes the hit.

    Hill

  • cognac
    cognac

    What a load of crap. That whole subjection thing really pisses me off.

    I had an elder/pioneer work for me... He tried to pull that subjection thing with me and I'd have none of it. I think he got another job cause he didn't like that I was in charge... I was an easy going boss, but his boss nonetheless. There was nothing he could do about it and I don't think he liked it at all, lol.

  • loosie
    loosie

    it is possible that she didn't know the depth of the subjection thing until she was in too deep.

    I agree with how you work things out together. That's how it works at my house as well. Luckily eventhough my hubby and I met while stilljw's he was looking for a partner not a sheepdog.

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