Women being in subjection...a sore subject

by milligal 41 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  restrangled

  Funny, I believe this religion allowed some very strong women to run the show.

  My grandmother for one....her husband was at her mercy no matter what.....he never was a believer.

  My mother ran the JW show including how my father behaved as the "Spiritual head" The pressure was on for him in every area. I have told this before, but for all the new members, you might get a kick out of this.

  My Dad, (before the elder arrangement) hated service, didn't have the energy and just filled in the weekly reports for his time in service as need be. My mom, ever the police dog JW, was watching and eventually reported to the Presiding overseer, he was lieing about his hours.

  The presiding overseer was called over, and we kids were sent outside. We listened at the plate glass window with our ears glued with the blinds drawn. She tried to get him nailed but the PO said to her "What are you?.....the spiritual police?" She admitted it later, but I heard the entire damn thing before I was 10 years old. We all knew if the Presiding OS was coming....it was a huge problem.

  This was way before the elder arrangement, and I still find it funny.

  Yes, my dad was eventually made and elder, and mom was very involved with every aspect until he resigned.

  Any woman who wanted to submit to this lunacy was sick to begin with......I know of no women who ever did.

  r
• 

  LongHairGal

  I remember this subject. Even though it was offensive, I felt it applied to the married women in the congregation.

  I wasn't raised in the religion (thank God). I came in as a single adult who makes my own way in the world. I perceived there were some who didn't like the type of woman I am since I am not a housewife who bakes cakes for people, etc. Even though I was a 'liberated' woman I kept it to myself and tried to fit in at meetings, f.s. There were those who possibly didn't like that I made intelligent comments at the book study. Some are very intimidated by somebody who has an extra intellectual tidbit to add, especially if that somebody is a woman. They have serious issues about intelligent women but I didn't consider this to be my problem.

  As far as 'subjection' went, I didn't have a problem with this if it was within the confines of the hall or a car group. I had no desire to 'teach' anybody there or get up and give talks, etc. The problem would have presented itself if I would have let them get too close on a personal level. I am not married to anybody there and they are not supporting me. Inevitably, they would try to overstep their boundaries so I kept them at a discreet distance. If they didn't like it that's too bad.

  LHG
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  milligal

  How many witness men used 'subjection' as an excuse to abuse and be the boss? How many stupid men lorded it over their smart wife? I mean I'm not defending any woman who knowingly lives her life this way (girls raised JW really have it bad), but it just seems a blatant excuse that a man who lived thousands of years ago dreampt up so that he could say "god says I'm the boss' according to his social culture and who would argue with this? At that point 'god' was the end all/be all- but for modern day people to accpet this is so sad...
• 

  yknot

  I was told 'subjection' was a punishment.

  To be eliminated in the Noo System!

  My Daddy (SB) raised me to be a lil spitfire, able to compete with the boys while wearing pink. Sweetness has it's place but you gotta know how to call Bull Sh*t!, Bull Sh%t.

  My husband married me because I was a 'challenge" not just a "compliment" to his life.

  So occassionally I am not too good at the subjection thing........other times I play it for the double standard benefits that are mine to claim.
• 

  jamiebowers

  Well, I studied as a teenager, and I fell for it hook, line and sinker. I really believed that a jw husband would love me as Christ loved the congregation. After attempted sexual abuse by my stepfather and physical abuse by my biological father, the thought of it was very attractive to me. But it turned out that my jw husband used his headship to abuse me in every way possible, and the elders not only went along with it but also blamed me for the abuse. "If you would just be a better wife..."

  My current husband who has never been to church or read the Bible overheard a conversation between a friend and me about what the Bible says about headship. He told me that he didn't think he was good enough to be the head of our family and that since the Bible said he was the head that he had every right to make me be the head. After LMAO, I suggested we could be co-heads.

  You know, the ironic thing is that I wouldn't mind living under his headship. He always thinks of me before anyone else and never makes a major decision without consulting me first. When money was tight in the past, he would've gone without and let me have, not only what I needed but I what I wanted. JW men would do well to look to him, (the big heathen that he is) for a good example of proper headship. When a man is a good husband, it makes it really difficult for a wife to be disrespectful or disloyal.
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  dinah

  "If you would just be a better wife..."
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  milligal

  I was told by my JW mother-in-law that it doesn't matter what your husband does to you; beat you, cheat on you, it's your job to stand by him. Whaat??? This same woman could not balance a checkbook or pump her own gas....
• 

  Carmel

  The status of women in all but one of the world's religions is considered inferior to men. In fairness, though, it has gradually evolved to greater and greater freedoms to the extent that in Islam, womens status allowed for owning property, able to divorce her husband, had legal access to positions of administrative authority and even considered as an equal in intellectual persuits. It was the Arabic culture that overwhelmed the teachings of the Koran that eventually subjugated women to chattel status in contemporary Islam. Only one religion declares equality between men and women and it ain't Christianity. carmel
• 

  flipper

  MILLIGAL- I agree with your takes on this. My wife and I are equal partners who value each others opinion equally. The Watchtower society is a patriarchal organization which caters to men mainly. Women and children have been the victims of much abuse in that organization. I just started a thread on an experience dealing with this in what my own witness sister suffered for years- and most women are instructed by elders to silently suffer, and endure abuse. It's disgusting. Every point you make in your thread is correct. You have nothing to apologize for
• 

  10p

  Funny, I believe this religion allowed some very strong women to run the show.

  Yes, I think in western society on the whole, the men strut around like they own the show, but the women are pulling their puppet strings.

  In fact, it reminds me a lot of those nature shows. Humans are animals too.