love, ideally

SPAZnik

I don't care about the M word. Money. I know we live in an increasingly capitalistic world of skeptics that would say that I say this only because I don't have any. But I would retort that I don't have any only because I say it! Naturally, money is a factor in life. I just don't CARE. I've always had and will always have what I need and beyond that, I don't really want for anything. Except: What I care about is the L word. Love. I have loved so intensely and so passionately that I can hardly breathe. I have loved. I have been loved. What I seek is mutual love. You hear that? Mutual. It is feeling. It is action. It is life. It is truth. It is peace. It is beauty. It is honesty. It is sharing. It is. It simply is. And I crave, with every fibre of my soul, to BE LOVE and to BE IN LOVE. To love and be loved, enduringly. Show me. Show me that you love me. Overcome me. Scale my walls. Blast them down if you must. Show me that you in whatever you are giving to or sharing in or doing with me, that you really love me from the bottom of your soul. Show me that you dare to believe in love and all that is possible in it. Show me that you know how little it is we all really know about love. Show me that you care more about me as a living breathing LIFEFORM than you do for a freaking disposable blow-up doll or whatever other battery operated toy. Teach me by example how to love me. Convince me as to why I should take my risks on your love. Show me the quality of your love. Please show me. Show me that you are the best lover on the planet. Allow me glimpses of your heart and soul. Go first. Be stronger than me. Humble me, lovingly. Come back to me, time and time again. Crave me right back. Dream of me. Share those dreams with me. Be courageous. Know that I cannot resist your courage. Know that I love you too. Know that all I see is you. Know that I dream of you and think of you every day. Throughout every day. See what is possible. See beyond smiles and lies. Look into the heart of the matter. Love sharing with me in the day to day real world of our humanity. Be a sentient with me. Be safe with me. Show me that I am safe with you. Show me. Keep showing me. Come back. Show me how to love you. What is it you need? How can I help? How can we overcome the obstacles? How can we live and be happy? Walk with me. Strip us down from all the circumstantial diversions and be with me. Really WITH me. Put the mental chatter on pause and just love me. Touch me. Allow yourself to be consumed by it. Learn with me. Know. Just know. Know that I am here to love life and to share that love for life with you. Come for me. Be yourself. And let me be me. Take extreme pleasure in blowing my mind with your love. Humble yourself and dance with me. Never second guess that I love you and I'm giving all that I can and then plenty on top of that. If I forget to be love, remind me, lovingly. Coax me back from the ledge, wrap your arms around me and just don't let go. Love me in ways that defy words. Love me in ways that defy doubt. Take my hand and hold my heart. Walk me through the danger zone. Manage this sentient condition with me. Keep it simple, like the whisper that undercuts the clamor and slices through the din. Tell me what you see. Always tell me what it is that you are really seeing. Be real. Laugh. Tell me your fear. Air it out. Let it evaporate. We'll poke holes in it, not in you. Share your burdens with me. Take on some of mine too. Trust love. Never give up on you and me. You've seen it in our connection. Now admit it! Surrender, with me, to it. With me. You and me. Let's carve out our own little rhythm and then let's make babies or save the rain forests or something loving. Let's love everyone around us and take sheer joy in loving every minute of life. Let's ride the ups and downs together! Let's listen to that thing inside that goes for a spin whenever we're close and catch glimpses of one another's soul. I love you. Why are you right here, yet so far away? When will we be? Be the same thing endlessly or be all you need to be. Sit with me on the floor. Know you are safe with me. We are safe. Know we will make mistakes and I will love you enough to be honest and then love can fix them. Love me, not bags of money. Hide not. Let your voice shake. Ask me out for my birthday. That should be enough time. We need to test the waters beyond this beach. Don't give up. Always love. Make me not a queen concubine, but the love of your life. The mother of your children. The friend of all friends. Be patient with me. Enjoy finding out more and more and never ever knowing it all. Explore the depths with me. Quietly. Don't judge me for where I am. Ask me how far I've come. Share that black heart with me that love can lighten it. Show me your starkly beautiful mess. Don't be so hard on yourself. Love yourself. Be gentle; and steady. Forgive me. I love you.

Casper

WOW Spaz,

That was "Intense"....and kinda sad, all at the same time...

Hope all is okay in your world...

Cas

mind my own

Hey girl, that WAS intense! What's going on?

I wish for you all the things you desire, and then some. You are a great person, I hope everyone in your life treats you that way!

MMO

JK666

SPAZ,

If you wrote that with one particular person in mind, he is a lucky man to be loved that deeply!

JK

SPAZnik

Thanks guyz, for letting me share the phenomenal picture I was seeing. It needed to be expressed. My heart was burning and my throat was closing in on me. As for your comments and feedback. It means a LOT. :) (I can't reply to your pms from this computer, but they are appreciated! If you include an email addy I can respond that way.)

-Tank

Whoa...that WAS pretty intense haha, never read anything like that before.

You really want love that badly eh?? Notice she said she is looking for love, not a man, hahaha.

SPAZnik

That was a profound statement -Tank. Thx for sharing your perspective.

-Tank

just kidding geeze lol.

So was this post a random topic or ARE you actually searching for that special somebody?

ZeroZen

That makes me feel better about being poor and no job but always searching for love and to be loved. Seems like in CT where I live money is important big house etc. I guess as a male I feel as though women are looking for a mate who will support the babies etc. It always nice to think of more important things like love!

SPAZnik

lmao ... just came across this post again. and may i just say: hahahahahahahah.

okay, for the record, i'm over it. i finally realize that love, like unicorns, doesn't exist.

it's all about math. math is where it's at. sometimes things add up and sometimes they don't.

simple. :o)

as you were

love, ideally

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