my autonomy is soon to be over....DF'd on the horizon

wings

Yesterday I had a little breakdown...laid down for a nap and woke up 17 hours later! Not so unexpected, just never done that before.

The first thing that came to my fogging brain this morning was that in a week I am moving. Back to Colorado and to a town where I know hundreds of JW's. Two of my husbands life long best friends live there. Both elders, one a PO, CO temp. Both very good friends of mine, even though I haven't talked to them in a year. They will find me....but if they come to the door with ties on I don't think I will be able to handle it! Once very good friends, vacationed together, got incredibly drunk with, know them both WELL....and I can easily imagine them coming to the door in TIES!!! That to me is mind twisting, and a little sick.

A short history. Been a JW for 16 years. Did a 5 year fade. Moved away a year ago and I have been enjoying autonomy from JW's. Don't know any here.

A fade....a collision of honesty and deception. While the honesty and freedom of thought is growing inside of you, layers of facade are carefully added and taken away in order to protect and facilitate the delicate balance of "real life", while trying not to disturb the "other life".

I CAN'T DO THAT AGAIN!!!!!

Thinking about a DA letter. Just to get it over with. I could hand deliver it to one of my friends, pretty sure they would know what to do with it.

There is freedom in this thought. Also a little nauseating.....wish it didn't have to be this way

wings

WTWizard

If you know within reason that it will put a stop to the hounding, then I would recommend the disassociation letter.

drew sagan

I would say at that at the most draft your DA letter but don't do anything with it unless you have to. People may just leave you alone, you never really know.

The Elders may stop by, tell you the meeting times, ect. But if you don't show up there is a good chance they give up rather quickly and don't bother to stop back. If they do it's for the memorial. Even then they might not stop when you are at home. I wouldn't worry about it to much if I were you.

Farkel

:Been a JW for 16 years. Did a 5 year fade.

I don't have it handy, but the Flock book has a section on people who have been out for several years or more. The book states that there is no need to DF someone in that position, since by their years of absence, they've already made it clear they do not identify themselves as dubs.

The other thing is, if they threaten to DF you, you can get right in their face as say you've been out for 5 years and it is obvious you want to have nothing to do with their religion. If they DF you, you consider it ex post facto retribution and defamation of character and you will sue each and every elder who does this PERSONALLY. The WTS does not back up its elders in this case, and many times the elders will just back off and leave you alone.

Farkel

buckster

Say you are not going. Not interested in seeing anyone right now. Nope not feelin' it but thanks for the concern. Sorry to disappoint have a good day. Yeah, really not up to discuss any of it. Shut them out.

Say you really would appreciate it if they would leave you alone . That is not a disfellowship offense.

wings

Strange to think about being that distant with once close friends. Also, many of my husbands relatives in this town. I don't know if I am going to be able to pull off "not interested".....

Seems more appropriate to come up with a well thought out a blast of anti-witnessing, and then live with the consequences. Many here get by with that. Maybe I can too.

Hope4Others

I live in a small place and know all the jw's...no one comes here in ties and I barely run into anyone when I'm out and about..It's like

there no where around...its great. Try not to worry it may not work out as bad as you contemplate.

Cheers!

hope4others

my autonomy is soon to be over....DF'd on the horizon

wings

WTWizard

drew sagan

Farkel

buckster

wings

Hope4Others

llbh

buckster

Quirky1

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