my autonomy is soon to be over....DF'd on the horizon (page 2)

oompa

wings: A fade....a collision of honesty and deception. While the honesty and freedom of thought is growing inside of you, layers of facade are carefully added and taken away in order to protect and facilitate the delicate balance of "real life", while trying not to disturb the "other life".

Wow wings....that is heavy engough to come out of a self-help book and I get it all after numerous re-reads except for the "taking away" part regarding the facade....once you start adding layer upon layer of them...I don't get the removing of them.

What I see is a bunch of naughty fun in your life and possibly weaking havoc on the local congos....Sounds like you have lots of old fun, partying, drinkin, MALE dub male friends out there. SHOW THEM NOT MERCY!!!!!!!!!!!

Awful of me, but smack them withs some taniticulitus....and they wont know what hit them! You need a personal goal....how many elders meetings can you cause by being bad, naughty in the next three months....hahahahaha..........good luck........oompa

OnTheWayOut

I would say at that at the most draft your DA letter but don't do anything with it unless you have to. People may just leave you alone, you never really know.

I fully agree that they may not really bother with you. You will be surprised how little they
want to help those that are not fully assimilated drones.

Awakened at Gilead

Hi Wings....

Being DA'd is not that bad after all.... If you need to do it! But I agree with Farkel, they should leave you alone if you don't ID as a JW.

If you do DA, you're welcome to the club...

A@G

changeling

Hey darlin! Take it easy and don't "buy trouble". You've been faded for so long that they may very well leave you alone. Test the waters first, they may be safe. If not, then DA if you wish.

All in all, you've got the power. This is your life and you have the right to live it as you wish.

Happy trails!

changeling :)

wings

oompa, the taking away...just means that you had a chance to speak you mind to someone....let some air in to allow the honesty to grow....it need air sometimes.

As far as me being bad.....don't think I'll be pulling any other DF offenses except having a pent up desire to tell everyone in the entire world how I feel about WTBTS and....so many on this board can relate to that. Something like handing one of my friends a copy of Crisis of Conscience and telling them to come back after they have read it. Then we will talk.

This whole shunning thing I have just begun to experience....no more blending....no more fade....I either hold my own, or I DA or get DF'd. I'm in conflict...but don't think I'll be buddying up with my soon to be ex husband's best friends.

Quirky....I have been holding off for family too. Might not make it through this. Freedom is a good taste, hard to resist. I have been holding on for so long, just don't know how much more I can take.

wings

Dagney

I agree that most elders, especially if they have been friends, do not want to come after you. Unless your husband wants them to maybe they would, I don't know the story.

I think it's important to figure out what you want in this and pursue that course. What I mean is, if you want to peaceably fade without DF or DA, then work their system to achieve your goal. Be evasive in answering if confronted, avoid visits with legit reasons, use the hell year you have just been through to tell them to back off. In most cases they willl. I cared for a sick elderly mom during my leaving, and they ALL understood the work involved with that and pretty much left me alone. I feel the ball is in your court.

Of course, if you want to make a statement for your own personal reasons, as in DA, to distance yourself or whatever, then do it. But do what YOU want, it's your life.

Best wishes for good and peaceful times ahead.

wings

All in all, you've got the power. This is your life and you have the right to live it as you wish.

Tks, changeling....I have to now, no doubt. I'll try not to buy trouble, they may never show up, I just don't know.

If you do DA, you're welcome to the club...

[email protected] you think it is better than DF'd? and can they DF you just for being completely totally against everything to do with WTBTS?? Just wondering? Heard so many conflicting stories here on JWD.

You will be surprised how little they want to help those that are not fully assimilated drones.

OTWO...hope you are right. I have LOVED being left alone. If they really cared they would have called me this past year. They both know where I am. Just the whole "in the territory" thing that bothers me. Like I have to be dealt with now that I am on someones car route.

OnTheWayOut

Give me a call, you have a PM from me.

flipper

WINGS- Before I take my nap after working all night, just wanted to add a couple 2 cents worth here. First of all I'm glad you got to sleep as I'm sure you have been exhausted from the recent loss of your mother. So my wife sends her love too.

I thought everybody had good points for you- especially what Dagney said and Changeling. Both very good responses. One word of caution. If after moving back into your ex-husbands turf area you find that former elder friends and witness associates start calling on you to " encourage ", er, " control " you - I agree with some posters here who say tell them very little. You could say your mom died , you have a lot of stress you are dealing with, and want to be left alone- like Dagney said.

You and I have talked about the tenacity your witness ex had for manipulation of circumstances. So keep that in mind and play it smart. Make sure he doesn't put a bug in the elders ears to come " help ", er, " harass " you. Believe me- I was married 19 years to a witness wife who still tried to make me look bad 10 years after we were divorced ! Discretion is the better part of valor ! You'll do great. If you want to talk with Mrs. Flipper and I- you know how to reach us friend. Take care, Mr. Flipper

Honesty

I was announced as "Disassociated" in 2004 before the change in the announcements.

Every time a JW elder (with the exception of one I told to take his cult with him when he dies and one who knows it ain't the troof but is afraid to leave) from one of my old halls sees me I get this crap:

"So, when are you going to come back to Jehovah?"

I never left Jehovah. I left a cult that is leading you straight to eternal separation from God

"So, when are you going to come back to the meetings?"

As soon as the congregation starts worshiping Jesus.

my autonomy is soon to be over....DF'd on the horizon

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