First I would skewer it on a pitchfork and then I would slowly roast it for a few million years in the burning fires of hell, until it was nice and crispy, just the way I like it! Maybe sprinkle on some "el diablo" hot sauce.
An alternative method of serving it is "lukewarm". I would keep reheating it and reserving it, (calling it a "new dish" every time of course) until it was so tasteless and bland and lacking in any nutritional food value, that it would become totally unpalatable to many and even cause some sensitive types to vomit!
Any who refused to eat my tofu would be sentenced to remedial tofu tasting training school. Others might look down on them and say they were not true witnesses, because, as we all know, "real JW's do eat tofu"
