I was bored. After a countless eternity alone, I was bored. So, I made a mini-me,called him "son", and taught him a few tricks. We spent a few eons alone together so he could get to know me well. I did not need to get to know him because I had made him (DUH!). Anyway, that grew old too, so together we made some inferior creatures we named "angels". We gave them tasks to keep them busy and we delighted in watching them scurry around.
We had sooo much space! It seemed a waste not no try to fill it up. So, the son and I made what has come to be called: "The Universe". Most of it is a bunch of rocks and gases floating around or orbiting big shinny things called "suns". It's fun to watch some of those thing collide. Oh, and we made "black holes", just because we could.
We fixed our attention on one particular rock. We decided to bring it to life. We spent millions of years playing with this rock trying to get it just right. We heated it up. We froze it out. Several times. We made giant, lumbering creatures and then killed them off. In time we thought, "Why don't we make another mini-me to live on the rock?" So we did.
We called this mini-me, Adam. We made a section of the rock really, really pretty. We plated all sorts of plants that bore fruit that he could just pick off and eat to sustain his life. Just so that he knew who was boss, I told him of one particular tree that was off limits. If he ate from that tree, he would die. So it was that we let little Adam wander about his pretty section of the rock. He became acquainted with his surroundings and gave silly names to all the other, lesser creatures. These creatures we created just for Adam's enjoyment and for Adam to have a sense of what it was like to rule and dominate over another, since both the son and I had found pleasure in having underlings.
In time, Adam grew restless. We had made him with sexual organs, but had not made him a counterpart to fulfill his needs. He saw all the other creatures copulating and wondered why he did not have someone to do this with. So, as we had run out of original creating materials, we put Adam to sleep, took one of his ribs, and from it we made: Eve.
We made sure Adam knew to tell her he was the boss and that she had to do whatever he said. We also reminded him of that little detail about the forbidden fruit, so that he would be sure to tell Eve not to eat it, or else.
Well, Eve turned out to be a very curious creature. And to make matters worse, one of the angels decided to think for himself and dare Eve to do the same and eat from the fruit. Of course, I am omniscient, so I knew how the story would play out. But in my "allpowerfulness", I chose not to know. I do love a surprise, don't you? Anyway, Eve could not keep her hands off the forbidden fruit, and then, the cunning little minx got Adam to eat from it too.
They suddenly realized they had been naughty and got it into their heads to place fig leaves on their private parts. Honestly, even in my omniscience I have yet to figure out what brought that on.
So, what to do, what to do? I had told Adam that if he ate from the fruit he would die, and I certainly have the power to zap him, right then and there. Now that the deed was done though, I realized I was entertained by little Adam and Eve and I wanted to see what else would develope. So, I flipped the "grow old and die" switch in their bodies, I threw them out of the pretty section of the rock, and I had some angels called "seraphs" guard the entrance so they could not get back in.
Now the rest of the rock was a fallow wasteland. Adam would have to cultivate the land to produce his food. No more picking friut off already planted trees and frolicking with the animals. And Eve, she would have to pay the price as well. I tweaked her reproductive organs so as to give her painful menstrual periods and agonizing childbirth. That should teach her!
Soon Adam and Eve began to bring children into the new world. Thier first children were two little boys they named, Abel and Cain. I realized that I had to keep some sort of hold on the growing population. What fun would it be to just let them forget all about me? So I instilled in their hearts the need to "worship". To fulfill this need, Cain and Abel decided to offer me a burnt offering. Cain went and fetched some of the vegetables and grain he had learned to grow, but Abel set his sights on a little lamb. This whole thing turned out to be a competion of who could please the big Daddy in the sky best.
They scurried about, each builidng an altar for their offering, trying to see who's was the strongest and tallest.When the altars were ready, Cain carefully arranged his produce on his and Abel tied the bleating lamb to his own. They set fire to their offerings and fanned the flames up towards the heavens. It took awhile to reach my nostrils, but all at once, there it was, the smell of burnt cabbage. Yuck! I had to turn my gray head and retch. Ahhh, but what is that mouth watering smell? Roast lamb! Bingo, we have a winner! In that supernatural way I have, I let Abel and Cain know that I was pleased only with Abel's offering. Never mind the time and effort it took Cain to cultivate the vegetables and grain he offered me, it stunk to high heaven!
Well, that did not go over well...Cain was so angry that all his work was in vain and Abel was so smug about his victory that Cain grabbed one of the fire logs left over from the offering and hit Abel over the head, killing him instantly.
So started the ever ending need to worship, and sibling rivalry. Down through the ages countless people have sought to please me and win my approval. Ishmael vs. Isaac, Jacob vs. Essau... People have created entire civilazations and cultures based on thier own particular brand of worship. Wars have been fought. Blood has been spilled. All in an effort to please me better than the next guy.
I sit on my throne and watch it all. I have to let it happen. How else could I prove my superiority, my right to have the final say? How else could I say to the fallen angel: "See what you did, see the mess you made?" So, I have a plan, one day soon I will destroy everyone who does not worship me just right. And those who play by the rules will once again live in the pretty section of the rock, and frolick with the animals, and eat from the trees... But not yet, I'm having too much fun.