by GoingGoingGone 48 Replies latest jw experiences
Your son is:
1) underage
2) unbaptized
Have you, as a parent, informed these "elders" that they have no legal (much less organizational) right to communicate with your son *and* that you, as legal custodian, will not permit it? Even if your JW husband fails to object to the meeting you are still equal in terms of legal guardianship. Use your legal authority to protect your child!
JW friend: Hillary Clinton is teaming up with Obama to ban religion! Isn't that great??!!
Where they hell did that idea come from???
Did the JW provide a source?
Although it is possible a well reasoned defense could do good in the end they are just looking to bully him into submission and they will likely turn a deaf ear. If I were you I'd do what another poster suggested and make them come to your son and make sure both parents are there the whole time, no exceptions. If they don't like it then they can go fly.
As for the claims that the elders have no authority...that would be true provided your son was never accepted as an unbaptized publisher. If he ever was then sadly yes they do have the authority to meet with him regarding this situation but again I stress...make sure both you and hubby are there the whole time and make them come to you.
How does your son feel about all this? Does he WANT to meet with them and lay out all that he's learned and why he wants no part of it anymore? He should be fully aware of the problems that could cause, with his dad and beyond. We all know that these elders aren't going to hear reason or be swayed by what your son has learned. It sounds to me like they mean to bully him, or create problems for him, and that there's little to be gained by meeting with them and explaining his position to them.
Your son sounds like a smart kid with a good head on his shoulders. I can see wanting to empower him even further by giving him the opportunity to stand up for what he believes. But he also has the opportunity to realize that he doesn't HAVE to do that with these clowns. He doesn't have to justify himself, or defend himself, or explain himself. That can be the most empowering feeling of all.
I hope things work out well for him however he chooses to handle it, and big congratulations for his acceptance into the university of his choice :-)
Thank you for the replies!
Gopher: "Why does your son need to meet with the elders?"
He doesn't really need to. But these are people his father interacts with several times a week, and it would be nice to keep the peace. Within reason, of course.
Aniron: "JW friend: Hillary Clinton is teaming up with Obama to ban religion! Isn't that great??!! Where the hell did he get that idea from?"
Who knows! Start a rumor at a JW convention and it spreads like wildfire. Probably embellished along the way as well.
Jamiebowers: "Your son has no obligation to meet with the elders, and doing so, will only make things difficult for his father. Jws shun da'd people too, you know."
My son isn't baptized, so they can't do anything to him. Still might make it difficult for his father, though, that's my concern.
"These elders will never listen to or accept any criticism of the WTB&TS, even if proof is found in the WT magazine."
They may not accept any criticism, but they will hear what he says. You can't un-ring a bell. Who knows....
Zico: Interesting article! Thanks for the link.
Nameless_One: "How does your son feel about all this? Does he WANT to meet with them and lay out all that he's learned and why he wants no part of it anymore?"
In one way, yes, he does want to meet with them and "clear his name" so to speak. He wants them to know that he's left the JWs because he KNOWS that they are WRONG, and he can prove it from their own literature. In fact, a few months back he DID meet with the PO (a really nice guy), who offered to answer any questions he might have about "the truth." He brought up the UN-NGO connection, the false prophecies, and the elder ended up giving half-answers and became accusatory when he couldn't defend the WTS's actions logically any longer. The fact that they have 2 elders lined up now is pretty pathetic.
The more I think about this, the more I am also wondering if they simply mean to bully him. At the very least, they will probably try to tell him that he cannot offer to prove that the WTS is a false prophet to members of their congregation. I can't go with him, because they'll turn on me in a second and I CAN be DF'd. If my husband goes, he'll be on THEIR side, or at the very least, not stick up for my son if that should be called for.
Thanks for the comments. It's so hard to make the right decision when I'm in the middle of the situation.
GGG
Elsewhere: "JW friend: Hillary Clinton is teaming up with Obama to ban religion! Isn't that great??!!
Where they hell did that idea come from??? Did the JW provide a source?"
ROFL!!!!! A source??!! LOL!!
Oh, sorry.... Nope, no source.
GGG
I wish I could go with your son!
He sounds like he will do fine. Maybe he will make them think, but when you try to make a Witness THINK they shut down and get in defense mode.
Let us know how things turn out.
He has the freedom to say things and vocalize doubts that these elders have probably NEVER had the opportunity to hear!!! It's an opportunity I can hardly stand to see him pass up. And, being his mother, I don't want these guys to think that my kid has rejected the JWs simply because he can't be bothered.
A wise person once said that when some jerk cuts you off in traffic, you
want to teach him a lesson, but can you really do so in your brief encounter?
NO.
The elders have heard stuff if they want to hear it. They won't hear it from some
unbaptized young man if they don't want to. It is not much of an opportunity.
There really is no up-side to this. "These guys" will think that your kid has
rejected the JW's for whatever reasons they want. Don't bother with the meeting.
GOING, GOING, GONE- I agree with Outlaw, Gopher, and others in that there is no reason whatsoever that your son needs to meet with these elders. Look- These " elders" are part of a " mind control cult " . They WILL NOT listen to reason, even if your son presented the most logical of discussions and proof to them. They already have their minds made up. I feel it would just be a waste of your son's time and intellect to meet with these " brain dead " morons- as Outlaw so rightly calls them.
It seems as you said your husband is supportive and gives his blessings to your son to go to college- so I don't see an issue or any problems here. Drawing attention to it as some said, by meeting with the elders, may create a needless problem between your son and his dad. I would just leave well enough alone - this " cult " is dangerous
Jringe01 said
"As for the claims that the elders have no authority...that would be true provided your son was never accepted as an unbaptized publisher. If he ever was then sadly yes they do have the authority to meet with him regarding this situation but again I stress...make sure both you and hubby are there the whole time and make them come to you".
Look bro, these men don't have the power over shi*... He can't be forced into a meeting of fools under any current law, he's free do do what the holy hell he wants. Not unless you were saying that under church laws... but it seems this young man has already figured out what a pile of crap this religion is and thus doesn't care. I'd tell them to take a rubber hose and place it directly under their noses.
And don't let daddy dictate this either, if he want to refuse his relationship with you over this crap then let him. Always show pride that you know the real truth.... if daddy wants to use his love as blackmail then call daddy out for it. Be free man, be free of these fools and be glad as hell you're free. Daddy will come around if you stay calm and tell the truth.
