Abusive People On This Board... (page 3)

flipper

I think this is both a board of discussion for some, and a board of support for others. And to some of us- it is both ! So abuse should not be tolerated, debate is one thing, abuse is a different thing. If someone comes on a thread I start and wants to debate , that's fine, but if it crosses over into abuse - even though I've been referred to as a member of the " cuddly club "- I will confront an abusive person and tell them to knock it off in abusing others. No one intimidates me on this board. If a person continues abusive- hey Simon is right, that's what the mods are there for to moderate what goes on and keep a respectable board progressing. So abusers beware ! Cognac, you don't have to take that treatment from anyone

changeling

Some people are just mean and bitchy. That's their problem, don't make it yours. Don't give them any power. Ignore them, I say.

changeling :) (If only I could follow my own advice...)

Fadeout

It's a bit difficult sometimes because sometimes I say things on this board that I haven't ever told anybody. Things that I've had in my heart for years. When I say it, I feel very raw, like I'm naked in front of people or something. Some of the things are very painful to say. Then when somebody sh!ts on those words like it's nothing, really pisses me off sometimes...

I think just about everyone here can relate to that. But you have to be prepared for that when you post these personal things on the internet for all the world to see. Some will support you, some will ignore you, some will insult you, some will accuse you of lying.

Three choices: 1) Stay away from places where hurtful people could be lurking, like the internet, or the outdoors, 2) Live life in a constant state of outrage and injury, 3) Realize that what other people think or say about you doesn't matter.

You are a smart cookie cognac, you'll be alright.

Jringe01

Simon: Could you maybe look into putting up either a list of moderators for those who maybe don't know who they all are or perhaps a special thread under Forum Administration where you can go and post your concerns for the moderators (like an IT helpdesk kind of thing) and the only people who can read the posts are the moderators. That way if someone is in the situation of being abused or bullied on this board then they can call up that list or go to a thread and contact the moderators directly and quietly without having to ask in a post, start a post or by sending pm's.

beksbks

When you pour out your personal life here on the board, and then ask for counsel, is that really what you want? Or do you want virtual cotton candy, with no substance?

nomoreguilt

This is something I have observed over the years on the internet forums. Be it yahoo games, chat rooms or emails. Ones words do not necessarily come across the same in print as they do face to face. I have had people come totally unglued by my expressed thoughts where in actuallity they were not meant in the manner in which the person took them. I am not saying this is the case with you as I haven't read the thread to which you are referring.

And yes, a thick skin comes in handy and not everyone is of a like mind. Some here have an agenda of their own and will carry on the same no matter what the subject matter may be. And as previously mentioned, there are threads that I will NOT touch and others that I can warm right up to. There are some here that have hardened their hearts towards the feelings of others and from those I distance myself.

I am sure that if ALL of us that post here were to have a giant party we would find a number of people that we won't get along with while others wil be like people we've thought we've known for ever.

Oh, by the way, I am a great admirer of you and your thoughts. We are all in this thing together, one way or another. We have been victimized and we don't need to be treated in that fashion any more.

My 2 Cents worth.

NMG

cognac

changeling :) (If only I could follow my own advice...)

lol, we all do that!

Realize that what other people think or say about you doesn't matter.

That's something that I'm really working on. I can sometimes be overly sensitive. Actually, being on this board has helped a lot (even though I still have to work on it)... It helped me in dealing with my family and dealing with the issues instead of letting things get totally off-topic and head into a direction that is useless...

If someone is genuinely being abusive then you should contact me or one of the other mods and report them.

~Thanks Simon!

Warlock

Cog,

Here is the way I see it.

Those who are abusive will take this thread and make every sort of excuse as to why they, or others, are not really abusive. THAT IS COMPLETE AND TOTAL BULLSHIT. They are, and they take great pleasure in it.

However, you can be SURE that those people wouldn't DARE say those things to you in person. That's how you keep it in perspective.

Warlock

jamiebowers

Here's some feedback for you:

How about some quid pro quo? By that, I mean, you start threads asking for advice, feedback, direction, support, etc., but you often don't respond to the answers. Your last thread went to 3 pages, but you didn't post again after initiating it.

And this feedback may sincerely be helpful to you: Do you have an incredibly short attention span?

I am either thick skinned or dense, because it takes a lot to hurt my feelings or offend me. But if the above quote was directed at me, I would be offended. I think the tone of the message is abusvie, and by the way, not true. Cognac, send this to Simon and see what he thinks. One way or the other, there are always negative people out there. IMHO, it's best to stand up for yourself the first time and avoid them in the future.

Sirona

Sometimes the person who seems abusive isn't being abusive at all....they are simply direct in their way of communication. Its largely about personalities.

Genuine abusiveness should be stopped though, of course.

Sirona

Abusive People On This Board...

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