Hi all
I feel at the moment to keep posting on this site is doing me no good. I used to post here many years ago and came across many things JW related that made me feel angry towards the way i was brought up. In particular the 607 issue and the generation change. I felt at the time that i wasted my youth away by pioneering, thinking the end was about to come.
By posting here over the last six months or so, it has had more to do with my alcoholism issues than anything else. When i attended my first AA meeting back in January it came as a shock when they ended it in with a prayer. So inevitably my issues with the WTBTS came to the front. In this time i have read Crisis of Conscience and have enjoyed discussions on here.
However, i feel at the moment that to join with discussions on here i am just going around in a circle. I have done enough WT bashing over the years and no longer feel i want to join in with these discussions. If anything coming here a second time around has lessened my anti JW stance. For instance the main reasons i stayed away was to do with the 607 date and the generation. When i first learnt about the 587 date i accepted this without any research, now in sobriety i have researched this and come to realise that although there is much evidence to support this date, it is however not conclusive. So why did i accept this without the research?
I really do now feel that most JW's are sincere people. My mom is one, most of the people i grew up with are, so i don't feel comfortable in WT bashing. Yes there are evil JW's, but i don't think they should be all tarred with the same brush. I also feel that the WTBTS were sincere in making the mistakes they have, i feel they should have acknowledged them but i don't feel it was done to mislead.
I find some here are all to ready to jump on the anti JW band wagon, as i have done. For instance the GB anti college letter, no one has seen it, maybe it's a guideline that some CO's have interpretated their own way i don't know. But the point is I don't know, there is no scan of it available yet many have assumed that all these elders are going to be losing their positions without actually researching it for themselves.
This board has been a great help in my journey towards sobriety and for that i want to thank you all. But for me i do not want to keep going around in circles bashing the WT, i thought i had put these issues to bed many years ago. My feeling towards these issues has now changed.
We are all at many different stages in life. For me i have tried to go the atheist route, it's the logical one but i can't. I now have such a clear head compared to how i used to. My battle with alcohol is a long one, my battle with drugs is in the past i feel. I now look at things differently, i want to let go of my WT bashing. In October i will be starting a LLB (law) degree on an external programme with The University of London, i would never have done this drinking, i need to concentrate on preparing for this. Sometimes i stay up reading this site till late, which inevitably effects my work. I need to move on from this site.
I will pm some on here with my email, i particular would like to keep in touch with other recovering alcoholics which is my main issue. I will lurk here from time to time. I may even post in the future as i know i am not barred from the site and would be welcomed back. I will respond on this thread to comments but for now i feel that i am at a stage in my life where it does me no good to spend time here.
So thank you all for your comments and support this past six months or so and bye for now.
Paul
...OUTLAW