Cog....I actually didn't want to continue the "abusive debate" on cognac's thread. I thought about it first...decided I just wanted to say my response to HS. I made a mistake. OK? I am not afraid of public debate, just was responding to a post from him directed at me. That's all.
Why? Why? is it such a problem for a "nice" person to stand up for themselves? Why are we all the sudden fake for doing so? I don't get it. Why are condescending remarks okay for some and not for others.?
It's not a problem at all, I wasn't suggesting that it was. Your very question is illustrative of the point I was trying to make and HS has tried to make on numerous occassions in the past. Many posters on this forum like to view themselves as "nice". Their "niceness" lasts only as long as someone agrees with them. Then they let loose a string of name calling, insults, profanity and even implied threats such as Oompa as so conveniently just demonstrated for us. Others prefer to send their name calling and insults by PM, out of the public eye as has happened to H.S. I do believe him as I have received some on his behalf as I mentioned and have not know him to be dishonest in any way.
Why does anyone need to grow up? I'm pretty grown up I assure you...don't see any children here. Just people with differences of opinion expressing themselves, and maybe some just looking out for a friend.
The childishness is in not taking responsibility for personal words and actions on public or private posts. If a discussion is started in a public forum, a disagreement ensues, and then one party wants to take their dispute to PM and continue the insults and name calling by PM, I too, question their motives for doing so. If any poster does such to me, I will just cut and paste their PM directly to the original thread in question for all to see and have done with it. Frankly, I don't know why HS just doesn't that.
The whole business is reminiscent of children fighting where first child calls someone a name, second child runs and tells on first child to try and get him in trouble or gets all his friends to come to his defense and gang up on first child, "We won't play with you, because you're mean!". Then second child proceeds to start calling first child even more names and being meaner than first child ever was. When this behaviour is pointed out publicly by parents (mods or other posters), second child responds, "I didn't do anything wrong, he started it!" They are unable to see their own behaviour and take any responsibility for their own complicity in argument, disagreement. Children only see in black and white. He is wrong, I am right. He is "mean". I am "nice". Childish!
I'm genuinely sorry if Wings has had some difficult and even traumatic times lately. So have many people on this board. That does not make her any less a responsible adult accountable for her words and actions, whether they were posted publicly or privately.
This thread is NOT where this debate needs to be. I started it in a PM to another adult....unless you are privy to that I suggest you act like an adult and mind your own business. Once more, please stop. If you want to chew me up....start your own thread.
Well, it may have started in a private PM, but it is the process of posting insulting replies to what start as public discussion that has been raised by someone else on this public thread. I can understand why you don't wish to continue the discussion since you were the one accused of doing so and it doesn't really paint you in a flattering light. However, since the subject has been raised on this public thread, I have as much right to post my opinion (2 cents worth) on it as anyone else does.
"Chewing you up" has nothing to do with it. There was not one insulting or derogatory remark from me directed at you. If I do not happen to agree with the practice of posting inflammatory PM's in response to public discussions, then I feel that way across the board, regardless of who does it. It is nothing personal against you, as I don't know you at all. I used the example of other posters doing this to me in regards to HS and specifically said that you were not one of them. Again this demonstrates what I said earlier. Posters disagreeing with our words or behaviour is not "abuse". It is not personally attacking you if I disagree with you even if you take it personally or feel insulted by disagreeing. If a poster does not agree with us, that does not make them "mean", or make us "nice". I was addressing a broader issue, and since it applies to you, you take it as a personal attack.
I don't consider HS publicly pointing out the incongruency of your behaviour in sending him a private PM an "attack" against you. He is simply saying, take responsibility for your response to me. Don't try to hide by PM. You may not like it, your friends may not like, but is not "abuse". Oompa's language, on the other hand, was very abusive IMO. He has sent me a PM defending it. Again, this illustrates my point beautifully, I don't know why he doesn't do so in public as the original remarks were made in public, I called him on it in public, and then he responds by PM. I won't respond to the PM or post it here as there was nothing derogatory or abusive in it. However, I will say to him, that while his threat was not overt, it was definitely implied and left no doubt as to his meaning. Asking posters to PM them H.S.'s address and saying he would like to meet him in a dark alley leaves no doubts to his intentions. Again, adults take responsibility for their words. They don't try to back peddle and say, "I didn't actually threaten him." Childish to the extreme, IMO.
Cog
...OUTLAW
...OUTLAW