playing along with the disfellowshipped game (page 2)

garybuss

First of all, anybody who shuns me or snubs me or anyone important to me doesn't get to call my home, visit, or have any contact whatsoever with my family. I don't associate with mean people.

I don't explain or complain. That's just the way it is. It's their game. It's their decision to start it, but I get to finish it on my rules.

Poztate

Why should we assume that we understand why they are behaving the way that they do? Why should we continue dancing this dance with them? Anyone else have a story to share?

That's what you have to do....Call them on it. They have a choice to treat you as a "normal human being" or get out of your life.

I have always done that...If people are not civil to me then our relationship is over..Relatives or not...

Babylon the Great Employee

I'll never forget when I was 16, my DF aunt had been in town because of a family tragedy (the only time we were ever allowed to talk to her). I had seen her twice in my entire life, and this was only the second time. She hugged me as she was leaving, and her eyes welled up with tears and she choked out that she was sorry she'd missed me growing up.

I think that was the point when I realized exactly how horrible the practice of shunning is. My aunt isn't a bad person, she never was. I was robbed of having her in my life. Yet, all these years, I had her number, I could have called her, written her a letter, something, anything. But I had never even questioned it. From then on, I never shunned anyone else who was DF'd. It was one of the final "wake-up calls" that this organization is destructive.

dawg

Saltcon... not the dreaded titty sucking! LMAO!

Awakened at Gilead

I make sure my relatives that are shunning DA'd A@G that I don't agree with it at all.

So I sent an email to my brother: 'Since it looks like you're shunning me, I guess I'll see you at one of our parent's funerals. Have a good life'.

He still is shunning me!

But I am happy to pick up the phone if a JW calls (for my wife), and I will act as if nothing is wrong. "Hi how are you" in a pleasant voice.

I mentioned the shuning to some new friends at a non-JW meetup group tonight, and their first response... "That is so unlike Christ"

Amen to that!

A@G

yknot

GOOD 4 YOU......WTG !!!!

That was awesome!

2 thumbs up !!!

alt

sass_my_frass

Hi and welcome. I'm dfd and still working out the rules, they're quite complex. I've taken a lot Garybus' advice, and stopped accepting these silly rules. My parents still talk to me, and when they 'let me contact them' I just get on with cheerful conversation as best I can, ignoring the big elephant in the room. My siblings will never talk to me again, but every year or so I'm visiting non-witness friends in my old hometown and I'll get my husband to sms them to ask them if they want to meet. They never do, but I do it because it reminds them that I'm still around and thinking of them. As my husband was never a witness, and my grandparents aren't, the publicity is quite a big deal for them. There's nothing more important to my crazy family than How They Look. When non-witnesses see how they treat me, they realise they look like lunatics.

passive suicide

Proud of you for thinking outside the box.....Thee first step towards freedom mentally.....sorry it was soo hard.

lisavegas420

Here's how I "play/don't play" along with the disfellowshipping game.

When the JW's come to my door...which is few and far between, only two different sisters in the last 10 years, I don't tell them I'd df'd and pretend to be interested, and when they come back I ask questions, and when they come back I ask questions about their answers, and the game continues and they quit coming.

lisa

hotspur

Funny you should mention this now......

I was at supermarket today and was hoping upon hope that I'd meet a JW (that I'd know). I was itching to get their reaction to my normal, human, respectful behaviour. I've DF'd 4 years and have been trying to fathom these stupid rules I didn't undertand them 40 years ago either!

playing along with the disfellowshipped game

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