Use more than one square of toilet paper, give blood, go sky diving, enroll in college, buy an American flag, buy a two door car, grow a beard.
For my Birthday = I will break 10 of Jehovahs Laws in one day! Ideas?
by Witness 007 32 Replies latest jw experiences
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asilentone
easy one: Do not go to the Kingdom Hall today! (you are breaking the law to not to assemble together) get it on with your life!
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Witness 007
My birthday is a few months off...but give blood! Brilliant how did I miss that! Buy a flag....get a 2 seater car, no that's not a sin, just frowned apoun.
What about.....Get a Vacectomy, the Watchtower 1970 says I can't have any privleges......ouch pass on that one!
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DJK
If you get lucky with your neighbors wife you might want to keep that private.
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Farkel
Play a game of chess
Watch a ballgame and stand up when the National Anthem starts playing. If you REALLY want to be bad, say the pledge of allegiance
Say "Merry Christmas" to everyone you see, even though it's only June.
Ask the elders if they want to join you in a game of craps.
Watch "Thriller" 20 times in a row.
Get some cans of split-pea soup and play a game called "Exorcist."
Put a cross around your neck
Buy some clothing from a garage sale and burn it to see what will happen
Tear up some Watchtowers and make origami monkeys with them.
Make an appointment with a psychologist.
Make a shirt that says, "I sold my soul for 1975 and all I got was this stupid t-shirt."
Fix up and eat some blood sausage.
Wear a speedo to the Watchtower Study.
Call up an elder and tell him you had carnal knowledge with a sheep. Ask him if he will marry both of you in the Kingdom Hall.
Turn in a field service report with 275,787 hours and 8,520 Bible Studies on it.
Take the cover off the "Flock" book, put it over a porn magazine and leave it at the Kingdom Hall library.
Tell an elder you committed "adultery in the heart." With yourself.
Locate the dumbest pioneer you can find and tell her that Charles Manson wants a free home Bible Study.
Make a doll that looks like your Circuit Overseer and stick a bunch of pins in the doll's face. Mail it to the CO with a little note that says, "looking forward to your next visit.".
Get a bumper sticker that says "Satan Was FRAMED" and put it on the Presiding Overseer's car during a meeting.
Ask an elder if a penis transplant is scriptural
and THEN:
HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (Just remember to try not to get beheaded, though.)
Farkel
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Bring_the_Light
10. Read the Bible. (If JayDubs ever knew what effect reading the bible 3 times back to back when there was nothing else to read or think about in Basic Training, it would make their list of apostate literature) Lets just say its very true that you can't find the truth on your own, you NEED the washtowel to interpret it to you to EVER arrive at "the Truth (TM)". Lots of Light in the good book. Bring_the_Light
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ldrnomo
10. Join the YMCA
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LouBelle
Stilla took it right out of my mouth, *wink nudge wink*
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FadingAway
How about toasting and taking a yoga class?
