Welcome to the board.
I am sorry for the circumstance you find yourself in. I know that after 30 years you must be in a lot of pain and loss right now. I hope you find your way soon and get your bearings. Being with family may be the best thing for you, but if you make a whole LOT of changes all at once, you may find yourself more confused. I don't know your job or $ situation, so I would just recommend that you protect yourself so far as any marital assets or your retirement income is figured out. It would be a shame to not only lose your job but possibly retirement benefits and such also.
Best of all things to you. And if you can go to help out with your mom regularly, it may be a good way to see if the area they are in would make you happy. And reacquainting yourself with loved ones should be a good thing-but don't get yourself in a place you feel trapped (not caring for your mom-thats what family does, but moving very permanently to a place you may not feel happy in-or being around family that you aren't as close to as you had hoped you would be. Rebuild relationships and your new life gradually-it will probably be better for everyone-especially you!
How do you start over again when marriage ends?
by Bubblie 34 Replies latest social relationships
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JWdaughter
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wha happened?
Wow that's a tough subject for me. I endured a divorce and a death of a parent. I started over by leaving town and moving to a new area. An area where I didn't need to explain myself.
Internet friends helped alot -
dogisgod
Welcome. Therapy is a great thing. Take your time. Don't do anything big for at least one year. Get a really good lawyer. It sounds like he's been thinking about this for a while and you might want to look at your financial assets for the last few years. I don't know what his problem is but it is his not yours. Walk, eat healthy, do things you've always wanted to...even if you do it along (I got certified in diving and joined a local children's community theatre, took voice lessons, got a wonderful dog). There is a million great adventures waiting for you.
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Quester55
I can sooooooo relate. After nearly 20 years, (17 to be exact) my husband let me pack up our apartment, because we were moving to another apartment, and then told me that he didn't want to be married to me anymore. He said he didn't love me, wasn't attracted to me and furthermore didnt like me. Talk about my self esteem going south. You know what the "oh so righteous santified sisters told me? they said and I quote, " Well good! He was crazy anyway, I never liked him, now you'll have more time for meetings and field service!"
I'd had doubts for a long time, but after this, I think this is what really sent me over the edge. Meetings and field service. My heart is broken and they are worrying about meeting attendance and field service hours. Only one elder has been really cool. He even said that that kind of thinking was crazy. He told me to stopn talking to all those old women, and if I needed to talk, to call him! For a while I played it in all sincerity. I really thought that Jehovah would touch my husband's heart and bring him to his "senses", but that didn't happen. I am now legally divorced, financially troubled, and emotionally damaged. Alll this happened last year, (I won't give the exact month, in case some of the 'faithful' are looking at this site, shouldn't be, but you all know how they operate., What is it/ Theocratic warfare?) I wanted to die, I thought I'd lose my mind, in fact even now when the lonelinessn is too great, I beg God ton just let me die, but in His mercy, he always wakes me up in the morning. I'm grateful. I have met several people on line. I'm not ready to fall in love just yet, but Iong for a friend (male) to go places with, to just hang out with.
You hang in there honey. Right now, it feels like there is a hole where your heart should be, there is nothing joyful about life right now, but it will get better. If you need to, pm me, I don't know what YOU personally are going through, but I've been through the heartache myself and I can tell you, it will end. You will be lonely, just try to occupy yourself, find ways to fill the time. Don't turn to drink. I almost did. Thank God I was able to snap out of it in time.
Take care,
Q
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babygirl75
I'm so sorry you are going through this after being together so long!!! That has got to be so tough!! I agree that maybe counceling would help, 30yrs is a long time to give up on all your history.
I've been divorced once. Mainly because I married to young (like most do in the borg) and divorced after 6 yrs and one child. The custody batte continued on for 2-3 after the divorce was final...It is a very hard and emotional stressful event to go through. Just do what makes you happy. Take one day at a time. You don't need a man to fulfill you. But in time, if that is what you desire, you will find it and will find happiness again!
I'm thinking of you!!!