How do you start over again when marriage ends?

Bubblie

I have been married a long time over thirty years. My husband says he wants doesn't want to be married anymore. He left dubs before me. I left in 2005. Still trying to get my footings from that now he hits me with this. Such a history to give up together. So many things we have done together. No children but one very special dog. It is all very fresh. Any suggestions?

Junction-Guy

I am so sorry you are going through this, has he given you any reason or just some vague answer?

White Dove

I divorced after 8 years of marriage and it was not easy, either.

I wish that I had something good to say, but I don't.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.

Maybe marriage counseling might help.

One thing I needed to do that I didn't do is to pay a lot of attention to myself and take it out on exercise and vacations.

Pamper yourself.

Surround yourself with friends who really love you.

sacolton

I've been divorced twice. Not something to be proud of, but it happens. My advice. Focus on yourself for awhile. Don't jump into any relationships being on the rebound. Alot of serious mistakes can happen if you become desperate to "fill the void" that was made from the divorce. Do you have any goals? Perhaps plan a nice trip with some friends. The whole process of healing is to focus on things that make you happy. Time will help, but don't be down on yourself ... it's not your fault. Believe me, things get better ... much better!

burningbridges

With the no kids thing your lucky, I am divorcing a dub and the custody battle is MURDER. I would rather decapitate myself than go through this again. COnsider yourself blessed than you are not draggin other innocent and precious people through this, it is only compentent and capable adults who can adjust and move on.

Finally-Free

When my marriage ended I decided to remain single. It's been 4 1/2 years and I'm happier than ever.

Focus on yourself, your friends, and your hobbies and career. Don't jump into another relationship right away. Learn to be happy by yourself first. The rest will come in time.

W

FlyingHighNow

Is it inevitable? Make sure he gives you time to prepare financially and emotionally and then ask him if you can't try 6 months to a year of trial separation. Divorce is never the glamour track people dream it is.

White Dove

I think advice that says "consider yourself lucky" is shortsighted and insensitive.

Right now, she is devastated by the news that her 30 year old marriage is over and her hubby, well, doesn't care for her as he once did.

There is no way she can consider herself lucky!

This sucks! It's horribly painful! SHE IS NOT LUCKY!

By 30 years, the kids would have been grown by now, anyway.

This is disloyalty to an extreme. Abandonment is the worst kind of disloyalty.

She ought to make a dart board out of his picture. It might relieve some of the stress and make her laugh.

four candles

So sorry this is happening. My wife and I separated 2 years ago after 20 years,we are both no longer dubs. One son 19 and 2 step children.

Its upsetting,you feel confused and disoriented. But focus on what you have always wanted to do,be yourself and fill your life with friends.

After time someone else may come along. I am now with a wonderful lady who just lets me be me,its brill.

White Dove

Correction, rejection is the worst.

FHN,

Love your avatar! And you are right. Sudden moves are shocking. It should be more gradual and after all other things are tried to save it, if that is what she wants.

Bubblie got hit with something like a death of a loved one. It's the same as far as grieving goes.

How do you start over again when marriage ends?

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