Did you read this: How disfellowshipped family members should be treated.

Ianua

In the appendix of the new "Keep Yourselves in God's Love"-Book I found the following statements regarding contact to ex-JW-Family members:

What if a relative is disfellowshipped?
In such a case, the close bond between family members can pose a real test of loyalty. How should we treat a disfellowshipped relative? We cannot here cover every situation that may arise, but let us focus on two basic ones.
In some instances, the disfellowshipped family member may still be living in the same home as part of the immediate household. Since his being disfellowshipped does not sever the family ties, normal day-to-day family activities and dealings may continue. Yet, by his course, the individual has chosen to break the spiritual bond between him and his believing family. So loyal family members can no longer havespiritual fellowship with him. For example, if the disfellowshipped one is present, he would not participate when the family gets together to study the Bible. However, if the disfellowshipped one is a minor child, the parents are still responsible to instruct and discipline him. Hence, loving parents may arrange to conduct a Bible study with the child. * - Proverbs 6:20-22 ; 29:17 .
In other cases, the disfellowshipped relative may be living outside the immediate family circle and home. Although there might be a need for limited contact on some rare occasion to care for a necessary family matter, any such contact should be kept to a minimum. Loyal Christian family members do not look for excuses to have dealings with a disfellowshipped relative not living at home. Rather, loyalty to Jehovah and his organization moves. them to uphold the Scriptural arrangement of disfellowshipping. Their loyal course has the best interests of the wrongdoer at heart and may help him to benefit from the discipline received.
* - Hebrews 12:11 .

[Footnote]

* Bible principles on this subject apply equally to those who disassociate themselves from the congregation.
* For more information about disfellowshipped minor children living in the home, see
The Watchtower of October 1, 2001, pages 16-17 , and November 15,1988, page 20 .
* For more information about how to treat disfellowshipped relatives, see the Scriptural counsel discussed in
The Watchtower of April 15, 1988, pages 26-31 , and September 15, 1981, pages 26-31 .

This is IMO a very good example for the manipulative watchtower-language:

If the disfellowshipped person is still living in the same house like the rest of the JW-Family, it's still called a "family member". If the disfellowshipped ones live somewhere else (like adult children who already left their parents home), they are only "relatives".

Normal people would define the closest family circle for instance as parents and their children. The watchtower authors make it depending on the domicile. When leaving their parents home, children face a downgraded to simple "relatives".

oompa

And dubs actually say "we would never go beyond what is clearly written in the Scriptures?????"

The second paragraph stated VERY plainly: Since his being disfellowshipped does not sever the family ties, normal day-to-day family activities and dealings may continue.

The third paragraph states : Although there might be a need for limited contact on some rare occasion to care for a necessary family matter, any such contact should be kept to a minimum.

Ok so i am stuck in highlighthell dammit!!!........This is just total bullshit....sorry to disparrage bulls there!.......If "being disfellowshipped does not sever the family ties"...then end it there dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!Oh the make me want to SCREAM AND DO WORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!........................oompa in yellow

Gopher

That's right. The WT Society wants to make DF'd ones less like family, so it'll be easier to demonize them. The WTS wants JW's to think of their congregation as their real "family".

The WTS is in the business of breaking up families (as I know from personal experience).

sass_my_frass

This is a reprint of material in an older watchtower. I know that because my sister printed it out from her CD and mailed it to me when I got dfd as an explanation of why she and her family are giving me the bird.

catbert

They were "spirit directed" when they made up this rule.

WTWizard

The main objective is to send the message. If you do not obey the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger and believe them fully, the Washtowel Slaveholdery will use them to ruin your life to the full. That includes turning family members against you. They might even have spouses turn ice cold toward the disfellowshipped spouse, and even get a separation on the grounds of "absolute spiritual endangerment". (Note that they do not do that for physical abuse.)

Of course, they cannot do that if one has no family in.

blondie

*** w88 11/1 pp. 22-23 When Marital Peace Is Threatened ***

Grounds for Separation

9

Paul’s words at 1 Corinthians 7:10-16 encourage marriage mates to stay together. Yet, some, after trying very hard to preserve their marriage relationship, have finally decided that, in all conscience, they have no choice but to separate. What may be the grounds for such a step?

10

Willfulnonsupport is one basis for separation. When entering wedlock, a husband assumes the responsibility of providing for his wife and any children they may have. The man who does not provide for members of his household "has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith." (1 Timothy 5:8) So separation is possible if there is willful nonsupport. Of course, appointed elders should give careful consideration to an accusation that a Christian is refusing to support his wife and family. Stubborn refusal to support one’s family may result in disfellowshipping.

11

Extremephysicalabuse is another basis for separation. Suppose an unbelieving mate often gets drunk, becomes enraged, and causes the believer physical harm. (Proverbs 23:29-35) Through prayer and by displaying the fruitage of Jehovah’s spirit, the believer may be able to prevent such outbursts and make the situation endurable. But if the point is reached where the health and life of the abused mate actually are in jeopardy, separation would be allowable Scripturally. Again, congregation elders should look into charges of physical abuse when two Christians are involved in the troubled marriage, and disfellowshipping action may have to be taken.—Compare Galatians 5:19-21; Titus 1:7.

12

Absoluteendangermentof spirituality also provides a basis for separation. The believer in a religiously divided home should do everything possible to take advantage of God’s spiritual provisions. But separation is allowable if an unbelieving mate’s opposition (perhaps including physical restraint) makes it genuinely impossible to pursue true worship and actually imperils the believer’s spirituality. Yet, what if a very unhealthy spiritual state exists where both mates are believers? The elders should render assistance, but especially should the baptized husband work diligently to remedy the situation. Of course, if a baptized marriage partner acts like an apostate and tries to prevent his mate from serving Jehovah, the elders should handle matters according to the Scriptures. If disfellowshipping takes place in a case involving absolute endangerment of spirituality, willful nonsupport, or extreme physical abuse, the faithful Christian who seeks a legal separation would not be going against Paul’s counsel about taking a believer to court.—1 Corinthians 6:1-8.

Ianua

@oompa:

That's the point.

To solve this antagonism, they redefine "family". Everyone living outside the jw-family-home is no longer part of the family-circle. No family -> no ties -> no antagonism between paragraph two and three...

Amber Rose

How recent is the book that this information was taken from?

MinisterAmos

Reprint from KM 8/2002 I believe.

You're pretty sharp to have caught the distinction that "Family" is no longer "Family" when they live under different roofs.

Did you read this: How disfellowshipped family members should be treated.

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