My Thanksgiving...

by Billygoat 23 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    This post is totally sappy, but I don't care. I wanted to share it anyway.

    Lately, I have felt very sorry for myself because my relationship with my JW parents is almost to the point of being severed. I've been bold within the last several weeks about my thoughts on JWs and its falsehoods. My father has already called me an apostate and it's understood now that our relationship is going to be different. So I've been in a mourning period. My heart's been hurting deeply for several days now. I cry at the mere thought of my family’s faces. So needless to say, I’ve not really been looking forward to this holiday season. I’ve always had friends to spend holidays with, but with the last several week’s events, I’ve not been in a real thankful frame of mind.

    Neil, my boyfriend and best friend, invited me to spend the holidays with his family this year. His family isn’t large or financially wealthy, but they have something rare in today’s world – true love and concern for one another. I am honored to even have been invited with him! So this is how our day has been so far…

    This morning we awoke at 7 am to help at my church. Every year our church donates hot meals to the homeless shelters across the Dallas metro area. Last year we hit a record 7,000. I understand this year the homeless shelters are overflowing because of the huge amounts of layoffs in our once strong economy. My pastor said this year they plan on feeding around 8,000. This is my fourth year to help and it never ceases to amaze me how awesome an experience it is. I am only one of hundreds of volunteers that come as early as 4 am to begin chopping, dicing, cooking, boiling, and baking a Thanksgiving meal for thousands across my city. Experiencing this with Neil and his father was so awesome. I don’t remember the three of us having such a great time! Giving truly is just as much fun as receiving!

    At the end of preparing the last meal, we all stood in the church cafeteria and prayed. Everyone held hands and bowed their heads and we all reflected on how wonderful our lives our. Despite the all the bad things in our lives (divorces, layoffs, deaths, sicknesses) we at least have a home. We at least have a hot meal today. We at least have fresh clothing to wear tomorrow. We at least have one another to hug and kiss and laugh with. We at least have love in our lives. It wasn’t a religious prayer. It wasn’t about forgiveness. It wasn’t about anything but thanksgiving – to God and to others in our lives that gift us with love and friendship. I couldn't get through it without crying. I realized that I have so much in my life that I take for granted all the time.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is that whether we believe in God or not, whether we go to church or not, whether we celebrate the holiday Thanksgiving or not - we can still have a spirit of thanksgiving. We all take so many things for granted. Yes, many of us have created our lives by ourselves – some with a God and others without. As ex-JW’s we’ve learned the heartache of broken families, marriages, and hearts. Not from just witnessing others experiences, but from our very own. We know that every breath is precious. We understand the contagion of a child’s belly laugh. We understand the sweet softness of a dog’s fuzzy ears. We know the deep comfort of a friend’s hug and kiss. We know how special it is to enjoy life to the fullest - the joys and heartaches alike. We know all these things because we were starved from it for so many years. Starved and malnourished we were. But now we are free. Free to eat of Life and all it’s fruits. Whether we believe in God or not, we have much to be thankful for.

    I am thankful for all of you here. For listening and for letting me vent, cry, and laugh. For understanding my history without me having to explain it. For letting me be myself without pretention. For gracing me with your beliefs, viewpoints, e-hugs, and friendship. I have a heart full of gratitude today. Thank you for letting me share it!

    Turkey hugs,

    Andi

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    Anytime, sister e-e-e-e((((andi))))e-e-e-e-hugs

  • think41self
    think41self

    Sweet Andi,

    I understand the grieving process you're going through, but with the healthy attitude you have, you will come out the other side stronger and more compassionate for having experienced it. And in a way, you can be thankful for that experience also. Now you will never take love and relationships for granted again.(if you ever did)

    Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. You have allowed some of us into your life, and we have benefited from that experience also.

    think41self

    Holy Flying Screaming Buddha, Batman!

  • wonderwoman77
    wonderwoman77

    Thanks for sharing your story. That was awesome! I am glad you had a good day. I understand about not being thrilled for the holidays when you cannot be with your family, especially your parents. My parents are not JW, but my mom has borderline personality disorder and she basically has cut me out of her life. This is the way it is. It is hard this time of year. But this year I made my first turkey and it turned out great! and my best friend is coming tomorrow. I am so happy...:)

  • dungbeetle
    dungbeetle

    (((((((((((Andi))))))))))

    Thanks for sharing!!! Don't forget to tell us the rest!!

    BITE ME, WATCHTOWER!!!

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    Hi Andi,

    Thanks for a wonderful post. I had some bad dreams last night and my day started off bad, but ended up with a wonderful group of friends just laughing and eating and having a wonderful time.

    I made two quiches, one brocolli and cheddar cheese and one mushroom bacon and swiss cheese. I also cooked two batches of my ultra good pecan cookies. They are always a favorite of my friends and it makes me feel good to see them enjoying them so much.

    I ate too many of them myself though, LOL

    Life is good.

    hugs and much love

    Joel

  • California Sunshine
    California Sunshine

    Andi,

    What a truly beautiful post

    Just a thought.."Your family is those who except you for who you are, love you warts and all, and are a family to you".

    Blood isn't necessarily thicker than water.

    Neil and his family seem like wonderful people. My honey's family is like them.

    Glad you had such a wonderful experience with your church.

    I think of my brother and sister who are JWs sometimes. I missed them for a long time. Its been over 20 years now. The hurt isn't quite so bad now. In fact, perhaps if they had been kind to me I would be in there with them. Anyway, I know I am the lucky one. AND I have a brother and precious sister who aren't JWs and I am close with them.

    I am blessed and gratefull,

    Sunny

    minds are like parachutes--they only function when open.

    In a world of peace and love, music would be the universal language...Thereau

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Billygoat,

    Your words were very moving. Thank you for sharing them.

    : Turkey hugs,

    "We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth." - Virginia Satir quoted in "Chicken Soup For the Soul."

    {{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}} (Only 11 more to go today!)

    Farkel

    "When in doubt, duck!"

  • AMarie
    AMarie

    Andi:

    That was the most touching post I've ever ready. My eyes are full of tears right now! I'm sorry that you've been in so much pain lately dealing with the loss of your family. It's extremely painful to have your own mother and father treat you like a stranger. And it is definitely OK to grieve over it and feel down for awhile. If you didn't you could never really heal from the experience.

    It sounds to me that all of the turmoil in your life hasn't affected your good attitude at all. Despite the agony you feel, your heart is still so full of love and appreciation for what you have. I'm very happy this difficult time in your life didn't affect your holiday.

    AMarie

  • Pierced Angel
    Pierced Angel

    {{{{{{{{{{Andi}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Thanks for the beautiful reminder. Your heart was in every word and it is all so true. Being another who used to be malnourished and now being able to eat freely of life and all it's fruits, I'm very touched by your words. They are so fitting.
    God loves you for your heart and your strength and your posts have been very helpful to me. This post is the epitome of what a Christian should be in words and deeds.

    Thank you!

    Anne

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