Thanks for your great answers..You are all so great...By the way I do not even think to go back, plus I have received the real Baptizm in the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It was one of my greatest moments in life when I dive 3 times to the baptism pool.(The Orthodox baptizm covers completely your body beneath the water)Plus I cannot reject Jesus since I take Holy Communion. No way I will exchange that by going back to the JW's cult despite my sarrow...
What I hate most is the fact the my marriage ended up and I still have small children in there. I want them to have the life I didn't have, I don't want them to be used by the WT anymore. My blind jw wife does ANYTHING to brainwashed them more, and subdue them under the control of the WT
Unfortunately I don't have money to claim any custody, plus they are young and they need their mother. It is helpless to reason with her. She is completely brainwashed, and blaims me for braking the family appart. Once I told her: In my case NO one knocked on my door and tried to convert me. It was my own personal decision and research that lead me not to believing in the WT. Why do you condemn me, since YOU are doing the same thing to others. You knock their doors to convered them to JW's, don't you? So why you are complaining? The most crazy thing is that I have ALL Judge Jo's books and they are really insane. I show her the history of the WT from their OWN books, their false prophecies, pyramidology, flip flop doctrines and specially the one with the organ transplans. I asked her straight: What would have happened if one of our children needed a transplan in 1980 and you stayed faithful to the Org? For sure our child would be dead. But how would you react after few months when the GB changed their policy and transplans are ok? She didn't answer....then I asked the question again...Is this "God's Spirit" guidance or a man-made Organization? Why would God change His point of view, and leading thousands to die needesly...she didn't answer she just left.
She is so brainwashed that she turned me to the elders for apostasy 2 times. The last time it was just a few months before our daughters wedding. I told her you are "fucking crazy. Why don't you wait untill she gets married and then turn me in. What difference it will make? You think that by facing judical comittee my mind will change? Don't you know that you are putting an end to our marriage? Why don't leave the way things are, since I'm innactive and I haven't spoken to anyone?"
I was forbitten to attend to my daughters wedding, as you guess, I was "persona non grada".I realize how does the system in the WT world really works. I learned from a "wordly" friend who knows some JW's in my cong, that there are rumors about you that you are an "apostate". That was before I was turned in. The only time I express my doubts(again I was turned in)it was the first judical commitee. I NEVERED talked to any one regarding my doubts. I decided to fade. But they know well how to spread the word, don't they?
Once an ex-jw said: "It is easy to leave the WT, BUT WILL THE WT LEAVE FROM YOUR MIND?"
Now I realize the meanings of this words
I thank you all, and for your prayers and support. I have to get on my feet for the first time in my life. I still have many years in front of me, and I will not allow WT to ruin my life or my childrens life.