Please please please dont give up. You have got to choose to take control. You may not get time back, but you can change NOW! Look into doing a couple of courses through the state? Do they offer something that. I can only hope you dont through the towel in. There is still so much room for happiness and so much living to do! If you need a pick me up, pm me anytime!
I just can't pick up my pieces and continue with my life...
by justhuman 42 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
snowbird
I just want to add that if I was near you, I'd fix you a nice meal of pig tails and give you a big .
Sylvia
-
snowbird
My post above was in reference to this:
justhuman Re: Recipes for Pig Tails
Post 850 of 1407
since 18-Aug-01I will try them one day Sylvia
-
WTWizard
It is intentionally made difficult for people leaving to pick up the pieces. The Washtowel Slaveholdery would like for everyone to depend on them to make all their decisions, and for born-ins, it is extremely difficult to jump from being a witless to making one's own decisions in one step.
However, I would definitely not recommend going back. I also would not recommend going to another high-control group like the Mormons or Scientology (you will just be given a different set of rules and problems). Rather, I would look at a medium level religion that will give you just enough guidance to acclimate to the freedom, but not so much as to prevent you from growing up. Once you become comfortable at that level, you might find it quite acceptable. It is likely to take time, and making your own decisions for the first time ever can be intimidating.
Another helpful suggestion is to research major decisions thoroughly. Practice getting as many objective facts as you can before making a serious decision. Then take the plunge, and go for it. The more you research the subject, the better. At first, it is not important to make the decision quickly because you need the experience in just making your own decisions in the first place. Eventually, it will (or should) become easier, at which point you will be able to make quicker decisions that will still be rational. A broader base of knowledge and information will help there.
The ultimate goal is to become more fully integrated in your thinking, which is not easy. Even worldly people have trouble with that because of the crap education system. For a born-in witless, that is extremely difficult. But it is worth it. Once you are able to objectively look at all the facts in the situation and make a totally independent decision based on fully integrated honesty, you will almost always make the best possible decisions. And no longer depend on the Washtowel to do it for you.
One possible hint: Morality. You will be uncomfortable at first doing things that are not scriptural. However, the principle is extremely simple. Any volitional action that is good for yourself or society is moral and good. Any volitional action that is bad for yourself or society is immoral and is bad. At first, you may need to keep those principles in mind continually (just like a Washtowel study needs to keep washtowel principles in mind at all times). However, it is so simple that, if you continually practice it, it will quickly become second nature and easy to practice. For sure, it is easier to practice than all those washtowel rules. Guilt will be your biggest hinderance, but remember what the washtowel says about conscience: The more you practice something, the more seared your conscience will become to bogus "wrongs".
And, there is the possibility that you will need help beyond what this (or any) forum can provide. If so, do not hesitate to find it. And, going to college (even taking one course) can do wonders.
-
Narkissos
Hey justhuman,
You're also standing on the stage of moira, tukhè and anankè (fate and necessity) -- the ingredients of both tragedy and comedy, provided you see it for the absurd yet beautiful play it can be.
And on the soil of philosophia, which can help distinguish ta eph'eme from ta ouk eph'eme, what depends on you from what doesn't...
Tharsei, adelphe.
-
Eliveleth
I am so sorry that you had a typical JW life. A lot of us had that. I grew up a JW during WWII. I was tormented by other
kids for not saluting the flag or standing for the national anthem, I was called a fascist, nazi, I had rocks thrown at me. I was punished by my teachers
and expelled from school. We all had that kind of stuff happen because we were different.
My husband and I were JWs for almost 50 years. We were disfellowshipped in 1983. We did not stop living our lives.
We went on. You cannot let the Watchtower control your life!!! It is your life. You have to make the decision to live
it the way you want to. No one else can do that for you.
I am praying for you.
Love and hugs,
Velta
-
hillbilly
Even a angry white man like me talks to a pro now and then. This whole WT thing is really hard to deal with. We got your back.
Do positive things... pick a goal and move forward. Even if it's a inch a day.
Hill
-
sacolton
Hang tough. It's hard to wake up from a fantasy world and see the reality of the situation. Still ... you should be glad you found out instead of living your life in a lie. You did yourself a great service to recognize the cult as it is and leave. You'll need time to heal. We're here for you, man.
-
Billy the Ex-Bethelite
justhuman,
Sorry you're feeling so down. I'm just now pulling myself out of a slump, too. The WT seems to have planted within us a self-destruct mechanism that starts if we try to get away. Especially being born-in, we have little resources outside of what "they" have given us. Our job prospects are bleak. Few friends. Limited thinking ability even.
A few weeks ago, I'd posted about feeling like a loser. I've thought deeply about why. I feel like an animal raised in a cage and begun dreaming of freedom, when the door is open I dash outside, panic, and don't know what to do. Like that animal yearning for freedom, I'm also afraid of freedom. The wild is unfamiliar and I was always told of the dangers outside of the 'cage'. I don't want back "in" the cage. I don't think I can survive "out". I seem to just stand here going nowhere.
But we really are somewhere. It's a huge world around us. We're not really prepared for everything involved, but we've come this far. We aren't where we want to be. Things aren't the way we think they should be. Unfortunately, things aren't going to change to suit us. We can only change ourselves.
Most of my wordly classmates have good jobs, earn a good deal of money, most of them being to univercity, while I spend years of my life preaching a false gospel and just waiting for the big A to arrive.
True, but it is always frustrating to compare ourselves with others better off. It helps me when I compare myself with someone worse off. I'm not young anymore, but I'm not 90 and helpless. I'm not rich, but I'm not going hungry either. I'm not crippled or sick or blind. I have physical challenges, but nothing that will cut my life short. Count your blessings, you have more than you think.
But I just can't take control of my life, everything was written before I was born from the WT cult. I don't have a second chance, and NO one will give me back, my best years of my life. How can they stolen my years? It was my years, my time, my life, and you only live once in this world....I want my time back..can anyone give me my life back???
You have been victimized, but you don't have to stay a victim. You don't have a second chance at your childhood, or your twenties, or your thirties. But from now on, your life is yours. It's easy enough for me to tell you, but I have yet to live up to those words myself.
Sleep 7-9 hours each night, no more, no less.
Drink water. Lots of clean water.
Fresh air.
Set goals. Small enough to accomplish. Big enough to be progress.
Find something to laugh or smile at everyday.
Make friends. You can never have too many.
Seek some professional help if at all possible.B the X
-
Maryjane
((((JustHuman)))) I pray for your healing and do know (as others have already mentioned) that you WILL heal and things will get better in time. Many of us were emotionally and spiritually WRECKED upon leaving the JW's. You have been horribly manipulated by a spiritually sick organization, so it's not going to be a cakewalk but the FUTURE is yours. It's a blank canvas ready to be painted by YOU. You can keep painting with the black & white/doom & gloom color palette given to you by the JW's or you can utilize the entire divine spectrum of colors given to each of us by our source & creator. It may be easier to use what we've always known because we become quite adept at looking at the world in a limited way, but as you push your boundaries just a little more every day, try new things and above all BANISH negative thoughts. This is not an easy task, but at least try to get in the habit of "catching" yourself thinking negatively and replace it with a positive statement. You will revert back to negativity, but if you keep "catching" yourself in time you WILL automatically adopt a more positive frame of mind that will RADICALLY TRANSFORM your life. The present is where all the action happens...the past is the past and is useful only to the extent that we can learn what NOT to do. The future is whatever you make it to be as determined by your present thoughts and actions. Make each moment as positive as possible and do take time every day to meditate and still your mind. Just closing your eyes and being quiet for a time every day is of great benefit to the mind & spirit. It lets all the "junk" floating around in our minds to settle to the bottom so we can see things more clearly. Good luck to you and many future blessings. I know the next chapter of your life is going to be glorious!