A Doubting JW

swyzzel

Hey all. I very much enjoy the website because I have been doubting JW's for years and now I finally get enough courage to check out what other people think. I am a third generation JW so I have been apart of this religion since before I was born. This leaves no room to doubt or even question anything. I got baptized when I was 15 for the soul purpose of pleasing my mother and that she would finally get off my back. Throughout the years I have tried to go to meetings regularly, field service, and even personal bible study but once I really got into it I found myself doubting why we do this? The holidays have always been a big question to me especially b-days.

Well, now I am 18 and in college (fortunately) but I still have to commute home and make all my meetings and keep active time . . . blah . . . but I hate this feeling that my religion is holding me back. I am a very good student and I feel that I could be better if I didn't have to spend so much time doing things I don't want to do.

I have faith and believe that there is Jehovah and Jesus and everything but I think we should all be allowed to choose how much we can take on. As you all know JW's don't give any lead way for that. Also what is up with women not being able to have any lead roles or even carrying a microphone?

As you can see my writing is rather random but this accurately reflects my mind. I cannot honestly believe that Witnesses are the only true religion out there. I definitely know that I don't want to raise my kids by already hindering them from what they can and cannot do, I couldn't bare limiting them. I am afraid, scared, confused in what I really want, and if it matters what I want.

Please help me. I need some answers . . . this is bothering me a lot because as you know it is a way of life.

Fredhall

Swyzzel,

The problem is that you are way to young. And if you think that college is going to make a man then you are wrong. Hit the Bible dude.

waiting

Howdy Swyz,

Nice to meet you. I have two boys in college now - getting ready for mid-terms. Many *sighs* over Thanksgiving dinner. My oldest son admitted he could bring up his grade from 3.0 to 3.5 if he'd give up *just* one night of drinking, but "Hey.......why bother?" Dork - he's in 2nd year law school, make a great lawyer, eh?

My other son is 1st year - 4.0 (but NOT living under his mother's eye), and just discovered that's it's not near as hard as he thought! He hated HS (he's 24).

I would imagine it really tough to live at home and give the proper appearance as a jw. I left about 1.5 year ago and have never gone back into a KH. But I've been away from home for a looooooong time!

Glad you started posting here - good place. If you find things not to your liking, just click to another thread. We all do that to a lesser/greater degree.

There's so much research that has been done about jw's, bible teachings, etc., - just roam the internet. Freeminds, Watchtower Observer, Research on the Tower, Shaun's Place - all are excellent and just the tip of the iceburg for knowledge.

Who was the great one who said "Knowledge is Freedom" (or something close, anyway.) Enjoy!

waiting

Mindchild

Hi Swyzzel and welcome to our little online community.

Your situation is something many of us, in varying forms, have experienced and learned how to deal with. I too came from a third generation JW family, being raised in this worldview. I know how totalizingit was and how difficult it is to get all that mind rot out of your head. When I made my exit, I fought against it alone, did a desperate and lengthy study of various subjects in college to make sure the JW's were full of B.S. and that went a long way's towards letting me know I made the right choice, but I didn't do anything about my anger until years later. Wished I would have done something about that sooner.

You, are actually much luckier. There are many well established real-time and online communities of people you can use to help you and support you in your personal growth and transformation into a real person instead of a drone in the Collective. Depending upon what you are comfortable doing, you can ask specific questions in your posts and get feedback or maybe you might want to talk to someone who is an exit-counselor like Randy Walters who posts on this site. Most people will try to honestly answer your questions without some secret agenda. There are a few people on this board though that just couldn't get enough of evangelical religion and look for easy pickings to spread their own version of a religious mind virus or even something else. You are old enough though to think for yourself and make your own evaluations. It is your life and you reap the rewards of making good choices.

I personally encourage investigating what truth telling tools are. You should learn that "common sense" is often not a good guide for knowing what is right or wrong. You should learn that just because someone is an authority figure (a teacher, a priest, or politican) it doesn't mean they are right. You need to learn to doubt more and be skeptical more. With a little determination and luck on your part you will get exposed to some critical thinking while in school.

What do you want? That will depend upon your personal evolution...you will likely be making big changes in your paradigms and with those changes will come new ideas of what is and what is not important to you. Just go with the flow and keep on thinking.

Skipper

toddy

No Fred,college will just give Swyzzel a chance to become successfull in life,more than we can say for you hey!!

p.s welcome Swyzzel

Fredhall

Toddy,

Many comes out of college have no life

Satanus

Good advice for you here swyzzel styck.

What you want really is ymportant. The wt really doesn't know what god wants. That is why they have made so many false predyctions and false doctrynes over the years. Lysten to your own voice. Don't doubt yourself. You were born w certain desyres and gyfts. Don't ygnore them. You must love and honor yourself before you can do that for anyone else, god yncluded. Besydes, there ys nothyng god really needs from you. Yf you aren't true to yourself, you will never be happy. Be happy!

SS

Mindchild

Yes, Fred we know this happened to you...bummer dude

What was your major Fred? JW Psychology and Sociology? Perhaps it was abnormal human behavior? Be a good kitty now and let Swyzzle play with everyone on the board without getting a guilt trip.

Bad Kitty bad.

Skipper

hawkaw

It's an honour to meet you. Keep posting and keep researching

. http://www.geocities.com/plowbitch69/

. http://www.freeminds.org

hawk

ISP

Hi Swyzzel, welcome to the board! Look forward to hearing more from you!

ISP

A Doubting JW

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