After years I visited my Disfellowshiped Sister and "worldly" husband! CRY!

by Witness 007 34 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Witness 007

  I've been away to visit my Sister and her "worldly" husband after many years of not seeing her...I don't even have her phone number as she lives overseas. We just had a first family get together. When she met me at the door I was ready for anything! If she punched me in the face I would have deserved it and thanked her, for shunning her all these years. She grit her teeth as we kissed! I felt so bad! I was friendly as possible and asked many questions...how've you been? How's work? She brought her dog, which broke the ice a little. For the next few days we talked and I found her "worldly" husband was a really nice guy. He was kind to my mum, and talked with me about everything. I wanted to say "sorry" but I was sooo ashamed, and thought I would burst into tears any second. I ran around like a lap dog trying to please them any way I could. We talked and got to be friends again...she left me her card so I can E-mail her....she put on her wedding DVD She was so beautiful....when the priest said "we are gathered here amongst all these Witnesses...." she and her husband turn around looked at the empty chappell and laughed....I had to leave the room..the dam had burst, and I cried in the toilet for afew minutes. We left on very friendly terms and I plan to keep in regular contact with her. At the Airport yesterday, I cried almost all the way home. Imagine a huge 6 foot tall man sitting next to you sobbing loudly. Everyone thought I was leaving a loved one behind, I guess I was. Today I feel so much relief...some of the weight has been taken off my shoulders, I now feel like I want to live....I will E-mail her tonight.

  If you are a Jehovah's Witness reading this, PLEASE go see your loved one while you still can. It will ease your pain.
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  FreudianSlip

  When you email her you should still address the issue of your shunning her if you haven't already. She resents you.. trust me. But, she also loves you. Your official apology needs to be said so that she can then say her piece. I think only then can you both properly heal. Good luck with the relationship. I am terribly jealous of you. I have no contact with either of my siblings and it continues to be very painful for me even after 7 years of being out.
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  digderidoo

  I think you should apologise to her, it would help you also. Even if you write it down, rather than say it to her face to face. You obviously love your sister very much, it would mean so much to her.

  Paul
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  BFD

  Wow 007 that's great that you got to visit with her. I too think you need to acknowledge your behaviour to her and apologize and make no excuses. It will help heal the wounds. For both of you.

  BFD
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  New light for you

  It's so wonderful how she greated you with open arms. How wonderful that now you can have time together.

  If we all dwell on what time, family and friends the WT stole from us..... it could ruin us.

  So i'm so happy for you, espically for the emotional release. you tell her whatever your comfortable saying... ENJOY!
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  Witness 007

  Thanks for the advice...I do intend to apologise in E-mail to her and tell her that I no-longer consider myself a Witness....she notice my negative comments about the Witnessese here and there "it's all crap anyway." But like I said...if I apologised face to face I would have broke down emotionally...I barely keep it together as is. This is just step one. She invited me to visit her overseas....this may be another step.
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  smiddy

  It`s a crying shame that active jw`s can`t see that shunning one`s family is such a hateful practice disguised as "love"I wish you all the best as you mend your relationship with your sister
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  Quandry

  The thing about shunning is, if someone makes a mistake, say, getting with a man, but then gets married, that's not good enough. No, the person has to grovel for months, begging to return.

  There is no time limit, and people sometimes die without ever seeing loved ones. It is criminal......

  So glad that you and your sister are able to be together again.
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  dinah

  Witness, I agree!! She left the door wide open for you. Apologize and feel free to sling snot and tears while you do so. Then she will understand more what is in your heart.

  I wish more families could have a breakthrough like you had.
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  sweet pea

  It's good to hear a family getting back together again.
  
  If you had have broken down whilst apologising it probably would have been the best thing for both of you. There is no shame in losing control of your emotions and I'm sure she would think all the better of you for it.
  
  I remember saying to my sister once that we could never be close because "she had left Jehovah" - I cringe every time I remember those words and have apologised since - I never shunned her but I'm ashamed of my self-righteousness at the time.
  
  All the best with your ongoing efforts at reconciliation.
  
  Sam