Yes I understand. I have been through a similar situation. It simply needed time. My ex has since left the jws and done a LOT of work on herself. She is fantastic now and my children are so happy. My job is working with teenagers, so I see this situation a lot. From what you have written, is seems that your ex has formed a whole new life but kinda wants his "cake and eat it too" as far as the kids. It also seems like you are the stable one in this dynamic. If you want advice, I guess that is it. Your role is to be the "rock" in your children's lives, setting boundaries on them and your ex.
Reposting per JWFacts
by Persephone69 16 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
OnTheWayOut
Hey, welcome. It's great that you were only a prisoner for a short time.
But it stinks that your kids are forced to go. If you keep them informed
about JW stuff as they are able to handle it, there is minimal chance that
they will be assimilated. Just be persistent.I would suggest: Contact your divorce lawyer and ask about the religious
thing. Many parents have religious custody, medical custody, extracurricular
custody, etc. and not just physical custody.It's probably a losing battle, as you can't prove that attending meetings is bad
for them, but I know of one divorced dad who says the wife can take the kids
to meetings, but they cannot become publishers or get baptized or be forced
to participate in any way. That's the legal manuevering of religious custody. -
carla
Have you educated the kids about the cult? They are not too young to learn what a cult is and especially the dangers associated with this cult. Once your kids are educated (flip flops, scandels, sexual abuses, unscholarly works, etc...) once they are armed with solid responses, I'm sure dad won't want them coming to the kh with the apostate knowledge they have that could slip out of their mouths at any time in front of others. Protect them and teach them critical thinking skills and how to research any group before they get involved.
-
Scarred for life
I like Carla's ideas.
-
Persephone69
Doofdaddy. He HAS started a whole new life. He still wants the kids in his life but he's made it very difficult to be supportive in that endeavor.
OTWO. Thanks for the welcome. I've tried the religious path before (legally) and it cannot be used in court. Since there is no history of violence or abuse, that the legal system is willing to acknowledge, it's been thrown out. I cannot control what happens when they are with their dad. The kids know that they can talk to me about anything when they get back. I am now trying to be the mediator between my daughter and him regarding the meetings. She has refused to go to his house if he is going to make her go to "the hive".
LOL just a few minutes ago she was running around the house looking for anything that looked like a pentacle to wear when she goes down there. Totally NOT the way it should be handled but borderline amusing all the same.
-
Persephone69
carla, sorry, didn't see your post. Yes, ma'am! My 15 year old saw it first hand until she was 7. She's asked every question she can think of and I've given her honest answers. She's made her decisions regarding that mess. Her dad just doesn't take her opinion into consideration.
My son, on the other hand, just wants to have a one on one time with his dad. He's going to do whatever he can to keep that. He doesn't like going to the meetings but he's willing to put up with it to see him.
-
yknot
Ditto Carla's suggestion!
He moved 230 miles !!!! Yeah that calls for an adjustment in custody and visitation.
At both of their ages a judge usually sides with the child's request.... or at least they do in Texas.
Keep us posted on the outcome!